Well, as you can imagine - running a swinging site is not easy. In fact it’s far from it.
But the pros outweigh the cons.
Anyway, so we have some experience with some negative things that can and do happen.
It’s fair to say that anyone who runs a swinging site or a club, will always face some trouble along the way.
Well here’s some of our experiences. It’s not all doom and gloom though. ?
Death threats - yes I’ve had death threats. On top of that, we’ve had death threats. Even worse on top of that: we’ve had our children and family threatened with death threats.
The latter was also by someone who had visited our home several times and therefore knew our address and our family etc.
There have also been instances of harassment and intimidation. One particular person was like a dog with a bone and emailed abuse on the daily. So much so, I created a nice little folder just for him, marked his emails as spam and allowed myself to live rent free in his head for a long time. ??
Rogue admins. So this is a sore point. When you take on moderators or admins, the sole reasoning and purpose is because you think they’ll be good for the community.
They’re active members, valuable members, already add value to the site as a whole and are really generally a great asset for the team…. until they go rogue.
We’ve had all sorts from deleting threads en-masse, deleting or changing members status updates, threads and posts - then denying it… to even causing flame wars between other staff or worse still - members on the site.
We’ve even faced issues with rogue administrators, off-site who have then brought issues to the site.
You place your trust in them and it doesn’t always go the way you plan it. Some will simply realise it’s not for them and either ask to be deleted or demoted. Though the latter is rare.
Listening to and acting upon members demands.
This never ends well. Ever.
Yes it’s a democratic site so if there’s something of significant importance then it will be heard, contemplated upon and then an outcome considered.
But the outcome may not always be for the benefit of the site.
For instance, there was a huge vote a few years ago, with an overwhelming majority in favour of - enforcing Photo Verification.
Ideal world? We want it. We are happy to push for it, hell we went for it… but it backfired too.
So whilst there are democratic things that get voted and acted on, there’s a fine balance here between member self interests, to overall site management.
Then you have the balance between site organised social events, and member organised social events.
We have always stipulated that the two can co-exist and should work side by side, but not crossover. Again, it’s about managing people and events and their feelings / passions too. So unless done carefully, tempers can flare and quickly too.
Finances and financial institutions. Well blow me down with a feather… you’re a high risk so you’re dropped quicker than a hot potato.
If there’s one single advice I’d ever give anyone who is going into the adult industry: do your homework on banking & finances. When you think you’ve nailed it? Revise more. ?
Finally I think the importance of balancing members is something that you can’t just have. You adapt to it and learn from it.
Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody.
It’s a steep learning curve but the benefits far outweigh everything else.
When you know that people are meeting up, getting along (or IT on) and people are happy with your support help and suggestions, then that’s a win.
When those very people then don’t stop introducing friends and friends of friends to the site - it’s a win win. Because that way, everybody wins don’t they?
In the end, all anyone wants is a happy time. Find the right balance & harmony - the job’s a good ‘un.
No room here for angry people with axes to grind, flamers, trolls or spiteful people.
A safe environment for all, everyone is happy as can be - it’s a win. Again. ??? X
But the pros outweigh the cons.
Anyway, so we have some experience with some negative things that can and do happen.
It’s fair to say that anyone who runs a swinging site or a club, will always face some trouble along the way.
Well here’s some of our experiences. It’s not all doom and gloom though. ?
Death threats - yes I’ve had death threats. On top of that, we’ve had death threats. Even worse on top of that: we’ve had our children and family threatened with death threats.
The latter was also by someone who had visited our home several times and therefore knew our address and our family etc.
There have also been instances of harassment and intimidation. One particular person was like a dog with a bone and emailed abuse on the daily. So much so, I created a nice little folder just for him, marked his emails as spam and allowed myself to live rent free in his head for a long time. ??
Rogue admins. So this is a sore point. When you take on moderators or admins, the sole reasoning and purpose is because you think they’ll be good for the community.
They’re active members, valuable members, already add value to the site as a whole and are really generally a great asset for the team…. until they go rogue.
We’ve had all sorts from deleting threads en-masse, deleting or changing members status updates, threads and posts - then denying it… to even causing flame wars between other staff or worse still - members on the site.
We’ve even faced issues with rogue administrators, off-site who have then brought issues to the site.
You place your trust in them and it doesn’t always go the way you plan it. Some will simply realise it’s not for them and either ask to be deleted or demoted. Though the latter is rare.
Listening to and acting upon members demands.
This never ends well. Ever.
Yes it’s a democratic site so if there’s something of significant importance then it will be heard, contemplated upon and then an outcome considered.
But the outcome may not always be for the benefit of the site.
For instance, there was a huge vote a few years ago, with an overwhelming majority in favour of - enforcing Photo Verification.
Ideal world? We want it. We are happy to push for it, hell we went for it… but it backfired too.
So whilst there are democratic things that get voted and acted on, there’s a fine balance here between member self interests, to overall site management.
Then you have the balance between site organised social events, and member organised social events.
We have always stipulated that the two can co-exist and should work side by side, but not crossover. Again, it’s about managing people and events and their feelings / passions too. So unless done carefully, tempers can flare and quickly too.
Finances and financial institutions. Well blow me down with a feather… you’re a high risk so you’re dropped quicker than a hot potato.
If there’s one single advice I’d ever give anyone who is going into the adult industry: do your homework on banking & finances. When you think you’ve nailed it? Revise more. ?
Finally I think the importance of balancing members is something that you can’t just have. You adapt to it and learn from it.
Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody.
It’s a steep learning curve but the benefits far outweigh everything else.
When you know that people are meeting up, getting along (or IT on) and people are happy with your support help and suggestions, then that’s a win.
When those very people then don’t stop introducing friends and friends of friends to the site - it’s a win win. Because that way, everybody wins don’t they?
In the end, all anyone wants is a happy time. Find the right balance & harmony - the job’s a good ‘un.
No room here for angry people with axes to grind, flamers, trolls or spiteful people.
A safe environment for all, everyone is happy as can be - it’s a win. Again. ??? X
