Affairs In Swinging

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26 July 2016
2,347
3,886
City
Bolton
Never had 1 but know a few that have had affairs but not from the swinging community. Personal feeling are that you can do nothing more despicable than have an affair and I personally would never trust anyone with anything if I knew they had done such a thing
 
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24 November 2015
20,110
56,117
Bit of a twat then really.... had his cake, eating till all gone and went back to the shop himself to buy another....

This swinging malarkey is all good whilst everyone is enjoying themselves, it's fun and should be kept that way... why have an affair if your wife/husband allows you to fuck other people anyway.
True and the thing is she did let him meet alone and often bring them home as well she would sleep in the spare room whilest he had fun in their bed with another woman
 
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Lovernotfighter

MOTM

3 February 2016
6,677
16,779
City
York
I hate cheaters, especially the cheaters that play the fake I love you game (but that is a rant for another time).

I think there should be no secrets in relationships and swinging should always be based on mutual consent.

I say this as someone who in his university salad days very much viewed the world as what I do is my business not yours even if you are my girl, any way I beat myself up for years as a result and subconsciously never let myself be happy.
 
B

Bump-n-Grind

Swinging should be an addition to a strong relationship but unfortunately not everyone that swings does it for the right reasons, you should be sharing the experience together & tightening your bond.
An affair should be absolutely the last thing on a genuine swingers mind
 
B

billy55

When i started it was called swapping, so i took the first wife along because i needed a passenger door for an Anglia van but there weren't any so i had to take her home, bugger.
The second wife was however swapped for a lovely pair of leather boots, but the next day the fella wanted them back, saying he was robbed, dont get this swapping lark.
 
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T

Tigress

When i started it was called swapping, so i took the first wife along because i needed a passenger door for an Anglia van but there weren't any so i had to take her home, bugger.
The second wife was however swapped for a lovely pair of leather boots, but the next day the fella wanted them back, saying he was robbed, dont get this swapping lark.
Blimey. What are you going to swap me for? :p
 
M

meet_the_fockers

I dont get this.. why?
Although i guess people fall out of love and sometimes fall in love with other people.. regardless of the fact that they are swingers..
Its ok inviting someone into your relationship.. for lust..
Its when they develop feelings the problems start.. whole different ball game.
 
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T

Tigress

Talked to a couple of people about this at the VA last night. It clearly does happen which is a shame, because it makes people wary and jealousy creeps in. Where's the fun in that?
 
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Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,089
120,743
Can I just say that if there are any ladies or gents here pretending to be single then you are playing with fire which can cause serious damage, if we find that there is lies going on we will ban, nobody wants to get wrapped up in marital problems in this scene. x
 
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25 July 2016
2,495
6,694
If your single your single if not say so cant see why you have to lie unless your half of a couple the cheating scum part
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,089
120,743
We are not here to judge anyone and if it is clear on your profile then it is up to who ever wants to take the risks, if it isnt made clear and something happens then we can't do anything, as I have said anyone caught to be lying about being married here will be banned.
 
P

peakcouple

We've had requests for home meets from swinger couples who are married to other people and have always said 'no thanks' - not because of any moral objections as we both had affairs when married to our exes, but because of the potential for things to go wrong. The thought of the other man or woman turning up here, or finding our address or number and harassing us or citing us in any divorce are things we could do without! We wouldn't have any objection to playing with such couples in clubs in fact we probably have at some time. You just don't know.

At the start of our relationship we agreed not to have hidden affairs and to discuss things if we were tempted. So far it hasn't happened; swinging gives us all we need, but R and the man from our couple best friends have always had a bit of a thing going. They always have great sex and are very close, it's more than just swinging but theres no deceit. They don't want to meet up separately or take things further, but their closeness is one of the reasons we bareback with them and always sleep swapped when they come to stay or holiday together. His wife and I aren't bothered - I get to bareback and sleep with her too, obviously. She is very uninhibited and is a good friend but we don't have the same connection as R and her husband.
 

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,125
95,492
We've had requests for home meets from swinger couples who are married to other people and have always said 'no thanks' - not because of any moral objections as we both had affairs when married to our exes, but because of the potential for things to go wrong. The thought of the other man or woman turning up here, or finding our address or number and harassing us or citing us in any divorce are things we could do without! We wouldn't have any objection to playing with such couples in clubs in fact we probably have at some time. You just don't know.

At the start of our relationship we agreed not to have hidden affairs and to discuss things if we were tempted. So far it hasn't happened; swinging gives us all we need, but R and the man from our couple best friends have always had a bit of a thing going. They always have great sex and are very close, it's more than just swinging but theres no deceit. They don't want to meet up separately or take things further, but their closeness is one of the reasons we bareback with them and always sleep swapped when they come to stay or holiday together. His wife and I aren't bothered - I get to bareback and sleep with her too, obviously. She is very uninhibited and is a good friend but we don't have the same connection as R and her husband.
Exactly this. The potential for it to go wrong.. It not only affects the husband/wife and their family if they go their separate ways, but also deeply affects the person(s) they've been involved with.
All sorts of hell can break loose and it's completely unfair on the people involved.
it quite simply is not right or fair for anyone to cause and drag other people into their marital issues, and then cause mayhem afterwards if found out.
It's totally unfair, it's cruel and unnecessary.

This why, and I strongly reinforce @Pearls statement, that whilst it's anyone's prerogative and privacy and all that jazz.... if you are married and you hide it and get caught out, it hurts not only your husband/wife, but the people you're involved with too and we will ban. x
Can I just say that if there are any ladies or gents here pretending to be single then you are playing with fire which can cause serious damage, if we find that there is lies going on we will ban, nobody wants to get wrapped up in marital problems in this scene. x
 
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28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
Hmmm good question. On the whole I think those that are truly sincere, it makes their relationship stronger.
I can't actually think of any couples that have split due to an affair within the scene. Some were in the scene with an already broken relationship and split because they found other people but I don't know of any affairs.
We much prefer to play with established couples that are together as we think you can tell and it makes a difference when they care about it each other.
Having said all of that what really gets my goat is when you meet a couple and really click and you think 'Yeah, they get it they're like us' and then the guy does the old sly contact to the other female for a meet on their own, when we have always made it very clear we do not meet alone and his partner doesn't know what he's up to. There are some ladies out there who have no idea what their men are doing that's for sure and I'd assume vis-versa but we have never had it happen that way round. I never fail to feel it's yet another guy that's let my hope in men down and I'm a guy!!! They don't account for the fact that some people have it right and tell each other ....everything....
Here endeth the mini rant.
 
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Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,125
95,492
Having said all of that what really gets my goat is when you meet a couple and really click and you think 'Yeah, they get it they're like us' and then the guy does the old sly contact to the other female for a meet on their own. I never fail to feel it's yet another guy that's let my hope in men down and I'm a guy!!! They don't account for the fact that some people have it right and tell each other ....everything....
Here endeth the mini rant.
Seen this so many damned times.
We were put in a position once where we had no choice but to ban someone as a result of a combination of things, this being one of them.
Really annoys me and we see it all the time sadly.
 
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28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
Seen this so many damned times.
We were put in a position once where we had no choice but to ban someone as a result of a combination of things, this being one of them.
Really annoys me and we see it all the time sadly.

Seen it in some very very established couples. Where it appeared they were really settled and happy. Then they contact D for a meet on her own without me or their partner knowing.....
They seem to judge others with their own morals..... Mistake...
 
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28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
Then reading this thread probably explains a lot, I have lots of acquaintances friends mates on here and as you all know I love this site, first time ever I have been treated as a human being and not the crap on someone's shoe .

Yes I am married I have never hidden or denied the fact, and I would never lie to anyone on here just to get them into bed, there are (in my mind) very valid reasons why I do what I do, and I have always said I will share those reasons with someone polite enough to ask.

So if the fact that I am married and playing away (should the opportunity arise) get me banned then so be it.

I don't think it is the playing away Stew, I think it is people being deceitful about it. We wouldn't rule out playing with someone as a single playing away that was honest about it certainly. But lying about it just isn't cool.
I said earlier we like to play with couples that are established which we do because the dynamic is totally different when the couple isn't really together. Entirely different when playing with others playing on their own.
 
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Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,125
95,492
We are not here to judge anyone and if it is clear on your profile then it is up to who ever wants to take the risks, if it isnt made clear and something happens then we can't do anything, as I have said anyone caught to be lying about being married here will be banned.
Exactly this. The potential for it to go wrong.. It not only affects the husband/wife and their family if they go their separate ways, but also deeply affects the person(s) they've been involved with.
All sorts of hell can break loose and it's completely unfair on the people involved.
it quite simply is not right or fair for anyone to cause and drag other people into their marital issues, and then cause mayhem afterwards if found out.
It's totally unfair, it's cruel and unnecessary.
This why, and I strongly reinforce @Pearls statement, that whilst it's anyone's prerogative and privacy and all that jazz.... if you are married and you hide it and get caught out, it hurts not only your husband/wife, but the people you're involved with too and we will ban. x

I'm going to give this a little bump.
It's not our intention to judge others. Indeed, no one will be judged - in a lifestyle/scene that is non-judgemental, and, as owners/administrators/staff of the site it's not ethical to judge..... (wait for it :D) but!
If someone is here under false pretences, is married and trying to have illicit affairs behind their wives' or husband's back, we will politely and in a friendly manner, request that this is at least reflected in profile information, so members - people here can make an informed choice & decision as to what to do and if they wish to engage with any form of activity with said person.

Not filling in your profile information after requests to reflect that you are married - will lead to a ban.
As someone has just found out. ;)

So if you're reading this and are married, please don't think we will judge you as we won't, it's your business, but don't lie or be deceitful to our members, who could engage with you without knowing you are, in fact married.

It's not right, it hurts people, it's people's lives you're playing with and frankly - we don't like it and will act on it.
We're here to protect genuine, friendly swingles and couples within this lifestyle. Not allow them to get hurt in other people's marital issues and affairs.
Thank you... Admin x
 
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