Appalling Dom Behaviour !

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26 October 2018
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Now that’s been one of the worst weekends ever !
A friend of mine met a (so called) dom (small d) a few weeks ago and she fell totally for his shite, he’d been caught out on some stuff, and even though I kept warning her something wasn’t right , she maintained her subs faith in him and eventually convinced me he was ok and I actually met him a couple of times and yes he seemed very plausible !

Well this week the two of them had a huge split because he wouldn’t / couldn’t commit to a Ds relationship with her, there is a massive back story I won’t bother you with, but to say the girl was devastated is an understatement she’s totally wrecked.

Now yesterday I met him on a one-to-one for a proper chat to try and get her some answers at least for why he couldn’t commit , got a load of BS about how he had an ex sub that he still had a commitment to even though they weren’t together now !

So kind of explored the reasons for why that meant he couldn’t commit to my friend ! And it was down to the 1% chance this ex sub might need him again, which I kind of got ! And relayed this to my friend and whilst it wasn’t what she wanted to hear she sort of accepted it !

Fast forward to this afternoon and he announced that him and a girl he had been “daddy dom / friends” with and only yesterday assured me that nothing was going on they were just friends, are now in a Ds relationship !

Well this has just about finished my friend off and made her physically ill, she now feels that the last few weeks have been a total fabrication and all of the spin and lies that came out of his mouth were just a game !

Appalling behaviour from a guy that if he was a Dom has to realise you cannot run ramshackle through people’s lives and that subs invest a huge amount of emotional trust in Doms and leave themselves vulnerable and fragile and unable to process this type of behaviour !!

Opinions welcomed !
 
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Reactions: Pearls
17 March 2017
2,729
3,984
City
Manchester
Well unfortunatly in this life there are may ugly fish in the pool. lets hope a shark teaches him a lesson !!!
 
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Reactions: Pearls
TherLegs

MOTM

11 December 2016
3,660
9,285
I'd agree that is not an acceptable way to treat anyone but then unfortunately this type of attitude is certainly not limited to the BDSM world, we see it in the swinging community and vanilla life and it's no different there.
However for anyone new to the site and/or interested in BDSM there are some obvious basic things that you can do to try to minimise risk.
The BDSM world unfortunately probably has as many fake/wannabe doms, possibly even more, than there are genuine doms and trying to find the genuine ones can be difficult. I'm not a dom but I know enough of the right words to convince a few that that is what I am. Lets face it you can read up any aspect of BDSM and then use those words to convince others you are a true dom.
Any potential subs would be best asking lots of questions, if a dom has years of experience then they will be able to put you in touch with someone they have worked with. Get their number and you ring them not they ring you for obvious reasons. Ask your potential dom to attend a local munch (BDSM meeting) and whilst there ask around to see if there are any other subs with experience. Ask them what type of questions you should be asking your dom, better still get them to talk to your dom. If a dom tells you to stop asking questions because they are in charge, if they can only do online BDSM (whatever that is :palm:), if they can only meet at specific times, can only meet in an hotel or your place then the alarms bells should start to ring.
I could add a lot more but there is plenty of advice online, look up fake dom and you will see what I mean. However my best advice is get along to a munch and talk to like minded people.
We can all make mistakes, we can all get pulled in by the pervs and fakes in BDSM but by taking your time asking around and getting to know other subs you can hopefully avoid some of them. As they say we hear what we want to hear, we believe what we want to believe ....