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Chameleons...

Discussion in 'All About Swinging' started by Lips_Pearls, 23 May 2019.

  1. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    No, not Chameleons the swinging club.
    This is a rather poignant point perhaps.
    Do you find that people can seemingly become chameleons and adapt to their surroundings in order to get their fill?
    I.E the swinging scene? a perfect example.
    Have you ever noticed how some people willingly (and do) change their stances, points of views, tastes, sexual preferences or even outlooks in all sorts of ways, various plethoras - in order to gain the trust of a potential meet? (liaison.. :D )

    A good example may be someone who does not smoke, doesn't like to meet others who smoke but is seriously attractive and ticks your boxes. You smoke but then pretend you do not and align yourself with their views, to attract the potential meet?
    Do some people change themselves, their outlook and entity in order to not only to; gain attention thus appealing more attractive, but to also then try and liaise with that person,even though they themselves don't tick the boxes of the other party involved?
    Maybe I am too verbose at explaining it, but I can't think of another way in doing so. Sorry. :D

    giphy.gif
     
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  2. Ahabs

    Ahabs PV Sprtr

    Ah thank heavens,... but I do believe good Sir you are referring to Cameleons ;)
     
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  3. GeoffRy

    GeoffRy PV Sprtr

    I dont think that I/we would ever consciously change behaviors,stance,habits etc to gain favour. If you need to change any of the above in order to attract then you are obviously not attractive to that person/couple. We will adapt to not upset i.e. we smoke, we will never say we dont but if in company of non/anti smokers we would always go elsewhere to smoke. Not changing to attract but trying to not cause offense/negative emotions.
    I have seen people completely change their views just to appear an ideal match but do not like it. If your view is different to mine then great, I will not try to change that and will respect your point of view and expect the same in return.
    If on a meet with say a vegan. I will happily go to a vegan restaurant but I will not pretend to be vegan and talk negative of meat eaters. The world is diverse, we are all different, lets all respect that and be comfortable with our own tastes views opinions and be honest with each other. XxG
     
    • Like Like x 9
  4. fincon

    fincon PV Sprtr

    Both inside and outside the swinging scene, know many of them. Sometimes it’s entirely harmless, a self defence mechanism, and entirely unconscious; an old friend of mine appropriated accents like other people do shirts.

    But on other occasions, it’s absolutely not harmless.

    But then again, every so often, people will ask online, on social media: ‘do you think you’re the same online as offline, or very different?’ My experience is that most people think they’re the same online and off, and most people think other people are very much different online and off.
     
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  5. GeoffRy

    GeoffRy PV Sprtr

    There's a name for that... it's an unconscious behaviour trait that, unfortunately, I appear to have. For example, my son had decided that I'm no longer allowed to hold a conversation with Australians as I'll sponge their accent and apparently it sticks for a while. When we came home from Thailand last month, I told him about a conversation I'd had with the guy that owned the bar we visited most nights. He later walked away saying he'd speak to me in the morning once the residue had worn off. Ooops. XxRy
     
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  6. Ahabs

    Ahabs PV Sprtr

    I think I suffer from a similar ailment: as a result I'm not allowed to:
    1) spend too much time in a location with strong regional accent for any extended period of time (ie, 1 week or more)
    2) go from one area of strong regional accent directly to another... without stopping in London to "reset".

    You should have seen when I went from Wales... to Leeds... to Glasgow!
     
    • Like Like x 5
  7. fincon

    fincon PV Sprtr

    Yeah, he professed to be entirely unaware he was doing it for years, but then acknowledged it was something he did to fit in… right up until he went to work in the US… And, a year later, when I visited, it was his natural accent which greeted me off the plane… which he said got him more action in New York… heh.
     
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  8. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Thank heavens? A point you’ve been trying to discuss before?
    And thank you, yes Freudian slip due to the topic. (y)

    Interesting replies all. It’s one of those things we often think about ourselves too and thought it may make an interesting topic. :)
     
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  9. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    Remember that guy who hired an Audi TT to go on a meet and palmed it off as his until the girl clocked the paperwork in the dash, can you remember what he said he did for a living? :rolleyes:
     
    • Like Like x 5
  10. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    I’ve just checked, to kill my own questions and it’s the same my man? :cool:
    :censored: I certainly do.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  11. The-Gent

    The-Gent PV Sprtr

    I become anything a women wants me to be :tiphat::love:
     
    • Like Like x 3
  12. superking1981

    superking1981 PV Sprtr

    I never do anything to conform. Against my principles.
     
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  13. The-Gent

    The-Gent PV Sprtr

    Sure it works for you :tiphat:
     
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  14. superking1981

    superking1981 PV Sprtr

    Well.. if it doesn't.. I just accept that and move on. I can't have it both ways ...can I?
     
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  15. debE

    debE PV Sprtr

    Following a liason many moons ago, i kind of found myself saying i would go on a diet after it was pointed out this person in particular would have prefered me as a size 12/14...and i kind of got the gist any future liasons wouldn't happen if i didn't lose weight.
    A few days after we had the above conversation, i could have slapped myself with a wet fish when the realisation that it wasn't actually me with the problem, but them, hit me x
     
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  16. superking1981

    superking1981 PV Sprtr

    Jesus.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Fucking well not cool. (n)
     
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  18. Stew

    Stew PV Sprtr

    How many counts is that wrong on ? And I bet he didn’t say it till after the deed is done ! Idiots like that we don’t need ! Xx
     
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  19. debE

    debE PV Sprtr

    Of course....:cautious:xx
     
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  20. Stew

    Stew PV Sprtr

    Well that’s not a chameleon that’s I slimy lizard !! X
     
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  21. Brumcouple2013

    Brumcouple2013 PV Sprtr

    Yet another good subject to discuss and think about.

    Being totally honest with everyone here, we have never changed who we are, what we will do or not do or changed any part of our profile to attract anyone.
    We have however come across many who have to attract us (not trying to be big headed) most have been about smoking. We are smokers, and we make it clear in our profile write ups we are smokers on all the different sites we have been on. But as most swingers don’t read the write ups, and simply go straight to the pictures, fail to see we are smokers. We then get messages about chatting/ meeting etc, then after reading their profile were it states no smokers I have to explain it all over again. Then get a reply saying they will meet smokers Sudden change !!!! No thank you
     
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  22. Therapon

    Therapon Admin Sprtr

    Interesting question. Personally I'd hope I'd never do anything like that but if someone I was interested in enjoyed, for example a particulatr hobby and it was something I had an interest in then I would say so and maybe skip over those that we didn't share. So is that being a chameleon?
     
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  23. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    I enjoy cooking :flutter::grin:
     
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  24. Stew

    Stew PV Sprtr

    Strange no one else shares your enjoyment !! X
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  25. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    :cautious:
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
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