Cliques

[Lips_Pearls]

Ahh that Old Chestnut.
Cliques. All aspects of life has them, they're also an essential part of life in one way as it's the Forming/Storming/Norming etc to life. But that is not to say it's neither acceptable or useful. Non-damaging.
Cliques are deeply prevalent in this lifestyle, from online to clubs and it has an effect.
So do you ignore the cliques and do your own thing anyway? Do you not notice the cliques or does it have an impact on your swinging adventures - because your 'face don't fit'..

You have all faced it at some point or other when attending a club. Cliques are heavily present in clubs for example. x

 

[Deleted member 6485]

Cliques are heavily present in clubs for example

Thinking back to my first ever club visit, this statement is so true x

 

[Lace]

Thinking back to my first ever club visit, this statement is so true x

Very prevalent in clubs, if you are a new face then regulars tend to do that face at you of “ive just sucked a lemon look” bit of a Les Dawson moment when he would gurn
You feel as if you need an emergency mirror to check you haven’t grown an extra head.

 

[Deleted member 6485]

You feel as if you need an emergency mirror to check you haven’t grown an extra head.

x

 

[fincon]

So do you ignore the cliques and do your own thing anyway? Do you not notice the cliques or does it have an impact on your swinging adventures - because your 'face don't fit'..

In the past, I’ve had wholly miserable evenings at clubs when I’ve turned up on my own and realised that there is a clique; as a general rule, I used to give a club two chances when that happened. If I went again and it was blatant and obvious again… I dropped the club. And found somewhere else to go.

It’s an inevitable part of the scene, whether it’s because the clique is composed of ‘long termers’, or not.

And there’s very limited options for the club owners.

There are far more options for a site owner, if only because they can contact those inside the clique and tell them to knock it off.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

There are far more options for a site owner, if only because they can contact those inside the clique and tell them to knock it off.

At the risk of losing said members though sadly. The risks are very similar to the club owners sadly.

In the past, I’ve had wholly miserable evenings at clubs when I’ve turned up on my own and realised that there is a clique; as a general rule, I used to give a club two chances when that happened. If I went again and it was blatant and obvious again… I dropped the club. And found somewhere else to go.

It’s an inevitable part of the scene, whether it’s because the clique is composed of ‘long termers’, or not.

Yes indeed this is precisely what I mean RE the clubs. It can be daunting and very off-putting for anyone attending that club or the club environment at all.

 

[fincon]

At the risk of losing said members though sadly. The risks are very similar to the club owners sadly.

Yes, that’s true, but I would imagine there’s both a more direct, and yet gentler, way of dealing with it on a site than in a club.

Yes indeed this is precisely what I mean RE the clubs. It can be daunting and very off-putting for anyone attending that club or the club environment at all.

True. Very true. Genuinely no idea whether it’s ‘harsher’ for single M (I’m always wary of appearing to play the ‘ah, poor me’ card’) as at least a couple have each other…

I’ve also - shamefully - no idea, which I hope this thread will ameliorate, how it affects single F.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Yes, that’s true, but I would imagine there’s both a more direct, and yet gentler, way of dealing with it on a site than in a club.

Agreed there is that. Not so in your face really. Caveat: you'd also be surprised how quickly people get offended.

True. Very true. Genuinely no idea whether it’s ‘harsher’ for single M (I’m always wary of appearing to play the ‘ah, poor me’ card’) as at least a couple have each other…

I’ve also - shamefully - no idea, which I hope this thread will ameliorate, how it affects single F.

I should imagine it's equally as tricky for ladies as well as gents. If anything, dare I say it, probably worse for the ladies as they know they're viewed upon as prey. Sad but true...
There is that, when you have nothing else, as a couple you have each other and can collectively decide whether to walk etc as a result.
It also means you both deal with the shitty side of it together too, rather than alone which can be depressing I suppose.
Not that it's less hurtful or depressing as a couple though. It can be deeply hurtful if you are caught up in it.

 

[fincon]

Agreed there is that. Not so in your face really. Caveat: you'd also be surprised how quickly people get offended

Oh, it never ceases to amaze me what people do, and don’t, get offended about. (Note that I don’t say ‘choose to be offended’. Drives me nuts when people use that phrasing.)

I should imagine it's equally as tricky for ladies as well as gents. If anything, dare I say it, probably worse for the ladies as they know they're viewed upon as prey. Sad but true...

Yes, I can imagine. I remember first time I visited any club, with some friends, I attended Rios; we left soon after we arrived because the women said they walked into an entire culture of “Fresh Meat!”

Not that it's less hurtful or depressing as a couple though. It can be deeply hurtful if you are caught up in it.

Again, I can imagine so.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Yes, I can imagine. I remember first time I visited any club, with some friends, I attended Rios; we left soon after we arrived because the women said they walked into an entire culture of “Fresh Meat!”

Terrible isn’t it. Some of it is just so cringeworthy.

FWIW - we steer well clear from cliques and do our own thing. Being selective in this lifestyle and especially on here, benefits no one and ultimately is a flaw in the nature of the site in the first instance.
We don’t want to be part of any clique and will never be part of a clique.
In this environment it can be quite toxic.

 

[Therapon]

You know my thoughts on this subject. Part of the problem is some would say we are just friends but then they will only meet who their friends meet, they cannot or will not accept that they are in fact part of a clique.

 

[fincon]

we steer well clear from cliques and do our own thing. Being selective in this lifestyle and especially on here, benefits no one and ultimately is a flaw in the nature of the site in the first instance.

I had to reread this; I entirely misread it first time around.

Seemed to me — incorrectly, I stress - that the two were mutually exclusive: how can you both explicitly avoid some and yet claim that you’re not selective?

I. Is. An. Idiot.

But yeah, I know what you meant, and agree.

 

[Stew]

A clique in a live situation is easy to spot and avoid, online is clearly a lot harder as there are no visual clues, most chatrooms have “secret” areas where clique members meet to discuss exploits, other members etc, only time you know they exist is if someone slips up or you get an invite !

IMHO best avoided ! Back the wrong horse and you are stranded in the wilderness of No mans land

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Online cliques are quite easy to spot if you pay attention ,people who once commented on profiles or in threads to a lot of people ,suddenly only really comment among others whom theyve met a few times and god forbid if your not part of that clique but you meet someone considered to be ,you notice that you get the cold shoulder treatment

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Don't do cliques, I/we will interact with people as long as there is a reason to, eg good conversation that flows.
I don't agree with keeping people on the outside as the site or indeed or own "friends" list wouldn't grow, they'd get fed up and wander off elsewhere!!!

Nah get involved, be active and say hi Paul x

 

[Wkd n whisky]

We have been very shy, people who have met us would not think so, we are getting over it slowly and if going somewhere have managed to arrange to meet people there. We do notice clique and it can be intimidating for us. I held a social with friends last weekend, not many knew each other and for some of our friends it was the first time at a club, everyone got on and made new friends, if we saw someone new we went up and welcomed them to join us also.
My first visit to a club was where I found this site as they were having a social there xx

 

[Pearls]

Don't do cliques, I/we will interact with people as long as there is a reason to, eg good conversation that flows.
I don't agree with keeping people on the outside as the site or indeed or own "friends" list wouldn't grow, they'd get fed up and wander off elsewhere!!!

Nah get involved, be active and say hi Paul x

Hi

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Hi

Bonjour

 

[Deleted member 11852]

Bonjour

Hi...

 

[Pearls]

Bonjour

Allo allo! comment vas-tu?

 

[Wkd n whisky]

Not done French for years lol

 

[Pearls]

Not done French for years lol

Nor me

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Allo allo! comment vas-tu?

passez une soirée sexy miss pearls

 

[Pearls]

passez une soirée sexy miss pearls

Same to you...

 

[Deleted member 11852]

Hi...

Don't ask me i still struggle with English.. ... W...