Desensitised

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19 March 2015
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Are we now too desensitised when it comes to meets, fun and watching porn and expectations?

You could simply be happy with another guy, girl or couple being with you sexually, or you could be expecting one thing, receiving something else and then thinking; “it wasn’t like this in the film”.
Maybe erotica and the likes, no longer do it for you and you don’t get turned on by it all anymore.
Are you desensitised to sex and swinging or are you still excited by porny pics and naughty chats :sneaky: ;) x
 
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10 July 2018
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Are we now too desensitised when it comes to meets, fun and watching porn and expectations?

You could simply be happy with another guy, girl or couple being with you sexually, or you could be expecting one thing, receiving something else and then thinking; “it wasn’t like this in the film”.
Maybe erotica and the likes, no longer do it for you and you don’t get turned on by it all anymore.
Are you desensitised to sex and swinging or are you still excited by porny pics and naughty chats :sneaky: ;) x
I don’t think so… enjoyment of erotica and porn never diminished, nor diminished my enjoy of sex when I took an active part in the scene.

whether it would NOW? I don’t know.
 
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TherLegs

MOTM

11 December 2016
3,660
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Are we now too desensitised when it comes to meets, fun and watching porn and expectations?

No way, if that were true we wouldn't be here. Each meet is different, we learn from them, find different ways of giving and recieving pleasure, it's enjoyable and whilst it is we want to make the most of it.

You could simply be happy with another guy, girl or couple being with you sexually, or you could be expecting one thing, receiving something else and then thinking; “it wasn’t like this in the film”.
Maybe erotica and the likes, no longer do it for you and you don’t get turned on by it all anymore.

We are happy as a couple, we enjoy our sex either together or with others and we don't compare ourselves to anyone else. Ok some erotica may turn us on, other stuff we have seen before but comparing ourselves and our enjoyment to a film isn't, and hopefully never will be a reality. The reality for us is exploring, asking each other what we would like to do and when we have company we would hope that they would like to meet again.

Are you desensitised to sex and swinging or are you still excited by porny pics and naughty chats

We certainly aren't desensitised, we may not get wildly excited by porny pics but we both sometimes say, "Ooof, hell that is sexy" and the naughty chats, well when we are apart our chats certainly get us feeling horny. We love it, it's part of what we enjoy and adds that extra something to our sex.
So as I said at the beginning, we enjoy our sex, we like to experience different things, we like meeting others for sex, both couples and singles. Every session is different, some are good, others great and others fantastic but all enjoyable. Desensitised, No, we want more.

T.
 
26 October 2018
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Never really been a porn fan , it’s not something I watch on a regular basis but a naughty chat hits the button every time !
 
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14 February 2017
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Yes I enjoy porn, but I find I have to be in the mood for it (go figure! curse my ever evolving mind!), I however don't think its desensitization.
As for meets onthe other hand, the day I get desensitised, that's when I hand up my boxers and donate my condoms to Goodyear tyres. The memes will be endless ... so bring it on! (Honestly,.. please? don't panic with alarm when I email you).
 
W

MOTM

24 October 2018
11,308
46,989
I find a lot of porn is play acting so doesn’t turn me on, but a naughty chat well that’s a different kettle of fish. If and when meets start for us I am hoping they will be a big turn on too. When I lose interest in sex that’s when I will be desensitised lol xx
 
10 July 2018
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Not sure how I missed ‘naughty chat’s before, but oh hell yes… certainly never found anything has desensitised my enjoyment of them!
 
29 December 2018
60
79
City
London
Are we now too desensitised when it comes to meets, fun and watching porn and expectations?

You could simply be happy with another guy, girl or couple being with you sexually, or you could be expecting one thing, receiving something else and then thinking; “it wasn’t like this in the film”.
Maybe erotica and the likes, no longer do it for you and you don’t get turned on by it all anymore.
Are you desensitised to sex and swinging or are you still excited by porny pics and naughty chats :sneaky: ;) x
Thought provoking question...I think if we all reflect...somewhere deep down - it makes sense that by mere repetition of seeing or doing something it could lose some of its lure. Or numb/dull it a little.. Being desensitized is a natural phenomenon- hence why in the kink realm - it often needs to get "upped" in intensity or variation...as sticking to the the same routine over and over can lose its enticement. Desensitsation is more of a natural phenomenon rather than an opinion. It happens to us all to varying depths and degrees. For some different causes and reasons but same manifestation. For me personally, there needs to be connection...it's about the energy the person brings the chemistry which by the way is so much more than just aesthetics or personality it's 93% unconscious. It's intrigue, it's growth...when people remain stagnant and complacent that's where the boredom comes in...effort is sexy...effort is fucking sexy
 
29 December 2018
60
79
City
London
Thought provoking question...I think if we all reflect...somewhere deep down - it makes sense that by mere repetition of seeing or doing something it could lose some of its lure. Or numb/dull it a little.. Being desensitized is a natural phenomenon- hence why in the kink realm - it often needs to get "upped" in intensity or variation...as sticking to the the same routine over and over can lose its enticement. Desensitsation is more of a natural phenomenon rather than an opinion. It happens to us all to varying depths and degrees. For some different causes and reasons but same manifestation. For me personally, there needs to be connection...it's about the energy the person brings the chemistry which by the way is so much more than just aesthetics or personality it's 93% unconscious. It's intrigue, it's growth...when people remain stagnant and complacent that's where the boredom comes in...effort is sexy...effort is fucking sexy
To clarify on my above point about about having to "up" kinkiness to get the desired effect...What happens when it's been "upped" to such a degree ...and yet the person is still insatiable - what does that mean...I think insatiable and desensitised- there's a fine line...maybe desensitised is a metaphor for needing something else to satiate us? just thinking aloud....
 
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20 February 2018
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I'm certainly not desensitised to sex, although I will say a little variety does go a long way to keeping things fresh. This is where swinging is brilliant - every meet is a different experience.

I have found myself getting desensitised to, even bored by porn at times. Maybe it's the lack of a human connection?
 
TherLegs

MOTM

11 December 2016
3,660
9,285
For me personally, there needs to be connection...it's about the energy the person brings the chemistry which by the way is so much more than just aesthetics or personality it's 93% unconscious. It's intrigue, it's growth...when people remain stagnant and complacent that's where the boredom comes in...effort is sexy...effort is fucking sexy

This ^^^^^
I have to agree with this comment, it is so true. It's been said many times on the site, you need to put the effort in if you want to get the reward. Sit back, do nothing gets you nowhere.
 
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29 December 2018
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This ^^^^^
I have to agree with this comment, it is so true. It's been said many times on the site, you need to put the effort in if you want to get the reward. Sit back, do nothing gets you nowhere.
When I say effort- not just for yielding an "outcome" but effort for an end in itself. More along the lines of evolving vs stagnation. Meant comprehensively rather than just in this "realm"
 
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26 October 2018
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To be effective all relationships need to constantly evolve, gone are the days if oh it’s Friday night best have a quick fumble and fuck.
Inventiveness and openness now preclude nothing
Just saying :tiphat:
 
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29 December 2018
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To be effective all relationships need to constantly evolve, gone are the days if oh it’s Friday night best have a quick fumble and fuck.
Inventiveness and openness now preclude nothing
Just saying :tiphat:
Right. But even creativity has a limit. Everything is finite. Everything has a point where if you go further it leaks into other borders and reflection is required as to whether crossing that would be the right thing for you. Now, with effort. Effort, in a comprehensive sense, that's infinite, devoid of boundaries of limits. There's no end to how much or how frequently we can display that. Similarly, with evolving, again, in a comprehensive sense. Solely for that, devoid with the expectation of "reward " for the process is rewarding in and of itself....
That is what ignites connection.. ignites the spark...investment....that's hottt....creativity and kink can only go so far....investment is infinite. .
 
29 December 2018
60
79
City
London
Are we now too desensitised when it comes to meets, fun and watching porn and expectations?

You could simply be happy with another guy, girl or couple being with you sexually, or you could be expecting one thing, receiving something else and then thinking; “it wasn’t like this in the film”.
Maybe erotica and the likes, no longer do it for you and you don’t get turned on by it all anymore.
Are you desensitised to sex and swinging or are you still excited by porny pics and naughty chats :sneaky: ;) x
It takes raw honesty to admit that...not everyone has this level of self awareness
 
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26 October 2018
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Right. But even creativity has a limit. Everything is finite. Everything has a point where if you go further it leaks into other borders and reflection is required as to whether crossing that would be the right thing for you. Now, with effort. Effort, in a comprehensive sense, that's infinite, devoid of boundaries of limits. There's no end to how much or how frequently we can display that. Similarly, with evolving, again, in a comprehensive sense. Solely for that, devoid with the expectation of "reward " for the process is rewarding in and of itself....
That is what ignites connection.. ignites the spark...investment....that's hottt....creativity and kink can only go so far....investment is infinite. .

Isn’t that what I said in my last sentence, you get out what you put in, once you have each other’s minds fully engaged the impossible is nothing !!!
 
D

Deleted member 3411

Well as I'm now over 60 (but still wild and adventuous) I admit I no longer tingle just over a glimpse of breast or pussy, but then ive tried never to overdo things. I figured sex just like a drug would soon need a bigger high if I did everything as soon as I could... but recently I've found sex far less stimulating I admit purely down to age. But it should be said i was always highly sexed so perhaps I'm just calming down to a regular level. Linda and I would quite welcome just a small group of regular friends though as opposed to a new adventure each time, I guess that's more down to a preference to friendship as opposed the actual activity by itself.
 
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26 October 2018
3,739
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Well as I'm now over 60 (but still wild and adventuous) I admit I no longer tingle just over a glimpse of breast or pussy, but then ive tried never to overdo things. I figured sex just like a drug would soon need a bigger high if I did everything as soon as I could... but recently I've found sex far less stimulating I admit purely down to age. But it should be said i was always highly sexed so perhaps I'm just calming down to a regular level. Linda and I would quite welcome just a small group of regular friends though as opposed to a new adventure each time, I guess that's more down to a preference to friendship as opposed the actual activity by itself.

What a sensible and well phrased post, hitting 65 in a few weeks has done nothing to alter my sexy imagination (posh for dirty mind) but I take things at a far more leisurely pace , not so much bull in a china shop, more a controlled pace through Harrods. Quality over quantity every time
 
D

Deleted member 1030

I take things at a far more leisurely pace , not so much bull in a china shop, more a controlled pace through Harrods.
Reminds of that joke about two bulls, looking down the hill at a field of cows. The young bull says "Let's run down there and shag one of those cows!" to which the older bull, with a shake of the head, replies, "No. Let's walk down and shag all of them." ;)
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,089
120,746
It is difficult working in this industry as we do see so much daily, especially on social media, I used to get turned on daily but now it's just another pic for me, saying that when you get into a good chat (which @Lips_Pearls and I do on here together) we do send pics to each other and have a good time :sneaky: especially when it's lunch time :whistle:
 
19 March 2015
23,755
64,897
It is difficult working in this industry as we do see so much daily, especially on social media, I used to get turned on daily but now it's just another pic for me, saying that when you get into a good chat (which @Lips_Pearls and I do on here together) we do send pics to each other and have a good time :sneaky: especially when it's lunch time :whistle:
Yes our lunches are very naughty and rather tasty:sneaky: xx
 
26 March 2018
437
3,298
City
London
Are we now too desensitised when it comes to meets, fun and watching porn and expectations?

You could simply be happy with another guy, girl or couple being with you sexually, or you could be expecting one thing, receiving something else and then thinking; “it wasn’t like this in the film”.
Maybe erotica and the likes, no longer do it for you and you don’t get turned on by it all anymore.
Are you desensitised to sex and swinging or are you still excited by porny pics and naughty chats :sneaky: ;) x

Still get that excited nervous butterflies in the stomach when going on a meet, the day that stops will be the day we stop swinging.

As for porn, we just make our own, sometimes it even has a plot!
 
19 March 2015
23,755
64,897
Still get that excited nervous butterflies in the stomach when going on a meet, the day that stops will be the day we stop swinging.

As for porn, we just make our own, sometimes it even has a plot!
Agreed. We’ve always said to each other that the fantasy alone is enough, but when the fun stops - we stop.
Having plots is a great idea! Going by your posts and photos, we both imagine it to be one hell of a laugh actually!
 
26 March 2018
437
3,298
City
London
Agreed. We’ve always said to each other that the fantasy alone is enough, but when the fun stops - we stop.
Having plots is a great idea! Going by your posts and photos, we both imagine it to be one hell of a laugh actually!

Its one of our 'things' taking photos and making vids - but I can sometimes get a bit carried away with the production making sets and spending weeks gathering props, I made a trip down to Brighton to buy some 1970s soda syphons, glassware and ashtrays o_O