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Do You Ask?

Discussion in 'All About Swinging' started by Antogs, 30 March 2019.

  1. Antogs

    Antogs PV Sprtr

    Hi everyone,

    I have a question that is directly related to swinging but feel that in order for anyone to answer specifically I have to paint a pretty sexually explicit picture so I apologise in advance for any offence caused and I advise anyone of a particularly sensitive nature to stop reading now,


    I was recently enjoying a fine time at a club and had already had some fun when I came across a gorgeous lady that I'd spotted (and admired) earlier in the bar.

    We'd had a brief chat and had somehow got onto the subject of spanking/flogging and I'd casually mentioned that it so happened that I had my soft flogger with me. She gave me a sexy smile and said she might just come looking for me later. I was thrilled at the prospect but figured it probably wouldn't happen. I should mention at this point that she was accompanied by her husband who was a very nice chap if a little quiet,

    Anyhow, as you will have guessed she did indeed approach me later and pretty much directed me to a room which contained a very nice padded spanking bench. Her husband followed and proceeded to sit on a small chair at the head of the bench.
    After a spell of kissing and general feeling each other up she took off her dress, bra and panties and leaned over the bench wearing only her high heels.
    It was truly a magnificent sight.

    I proceeded to flog her, very gently at first, gradually building up the intensity until her skin was tingling (evidenced by goose pimples and dampness along with the slight reddening as her blood was being brought to the surface and the nerve endings were reacting to each stroke)
    She was now moaning with pleasure and opened her legs wider as she asked me to gently use the flogger on her pussy.
    Anyone who knows how to intensify the pleasure and build a connection whilst flogging knows that it's important to caress and reassure between a number of strokes which I did.

    As the scene built her husband became involved as she sucked his cock.
    By now my flogger strokes were becoming fewer and my caresses and "probings" were becoming more intense. I was spreading her cheeks, I was licking her asshole and pussy, I was fingering her and she was reacting, moaning wildly and thrusting herself onto my fingers and mouth.
    Of course, by this time was cock was rock hard and all I wanted to do was put it inside her.
    I felt 100% that she wanted me to do that too.
    She was soaking wet and, as I've said, moaning loudly and pushing hard against me.

    BUT.....and here it is folks...at last.....the question.....

    Should I ask?

    I didn't ask if I could finger her
    I didn't ask if I could lick her ass
    I didn't ask if I could lick her pussy

    and yet when it came to fucking her I didn't know whether I would be taking liberties. And yet it didn't feel right to all of a sudden ask her, or her husband, or both whether it was acceptable for me to stick my cock inside her.

    So I ended up not doing it and although a fabulous time was had by all I am left wondering what could have been. I've even wondered if she wondered why I didn't.

    If someone asked me this question I would just say you have to judge each situation on its merit and you'll know at the time if it's right or not. But I'd be wrong as I know for sure it would have been right I simply didn't know the etiquette of the situation regarding whether there is a need to ask in these circumstances.

    There's more to tell about that night's events but that's for another time

    Antogs xx
    • Like Like x 1
  2. MP386

    MP386 PV Sprtr

    If it were me then I would say yes always ask .... leaning forward whispering in her ear ....
    not that I’ve had the pleasure of that sort of experience.....
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  3. fincon

    fincon PV Sprtr

    Spot on. Exactly what my response would have been.

    Small caveat: had it been obvious - and I mean blatantly obvious - from the initial discussion, but then I’d have expected the asking to have been done at that point.
    • Winner Winner x 2
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  4. Therapon

    Therapon Admin Sprtr

    Tbh @Antogs I suprised you have even asked the question. If she hasn't asked you to, or you asked her and been told you could fuck her then the answer is No. It doesn't matter how excited she, her partner, or you were getting there is simply no excuse for anyone to take advantage of such a situation. You should have asked but you did the right thing by not attempting to fuck her.
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  5. Antogs

    Antogs PV Sprtr

    @Therapon As you say, I didn't. And I agree, obviously, with your point of view. (y)

    I'm not sure I would say it would have been "taking advantage " as believe me, she was fully aware, involved and enthusiastic as I was. :boobies:

    It's just that it's interesting that we feel it's ok to do all manner of things until it comes to that particular act.
    Again. I'm not disputing the fact (I obviously made that distinction myself on the night despite intense "provocation")

    And then there's the question of exactly what you say o_O

    "Can I fuck you?" :cool:
    "Would you like me to put my cock inside you?" :p
    "Fancy a shag?" :whistle:

    Antogs x

    p.s. AND she never ASKED me if she could suck my cock !! I feel defiled :mad:
    • Like Like x 1
  6. MP386

    MP386 PV Sprtr

    Let’s face it if she was in the position ready to :blowjob: your pretty much going to know what she’s about to do ....:) are you likely to say no :hmm:
    Recently I had the pleasure of being with a couple and after doing various things I did ask “ can I fuck you “ .... she smiled and got a condom .... the rest I’ll leave to your imagination...
  7. Explicit consent is the sexiest thing going. Unless it’s been discussed prior and boundaries have been set then yes, you should ask. Always. :)

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  8. Antogs

    Antogs PV Sprtr

    I concur entirely (y)

    But, how does a lady like to be asked? :cool:
    In my example what choice of words would one consider appropriate? :D

    Antogs x

    Incidentally, a rather amusing thought occurred to me.
    I've had a number of long term "conventional" relationships and know I never asked for permission before engaging in "lurve-making" in any of them.
    Am I a monster?:eek:
  9. For me, it’s really as simple as just asking - ‘Can I do...?’, ‘Would you like...?’, ‘How would you feel if I...?’

    It’s about showing respect to the individual and their autonomy over their body. And that works both ways in a heterosexual setting, it’s not just men that need to ask. Women have no more right to a man’s body than men do to a woman’s.

    I think it’s a bit different in a long term relationship as you both have knowledge of one another, you may be in a position to understand non verbal cues for instance.

    Still, it’s not complicated, if in doubt, ask. :)

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  10. Stew

    Stew PV Sprtr

    Please may I ...................insert as appropriate xx :sneaky::whistle::rofl:
    • Funny Funny x 3
  11. Tiger

    Tiger PV Sprtr

    All puns intended!
    Tiger xx
    • Winner Winner x 1
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