First impressions

[Deleted member 8095]

Ok so this has been buzzing around in my head for a while, and following some fantastic but difficult subjects being broached lately I thought I would take a chance and post this!

First impressions.

So when someone messages you for the first time, you've never spoken before or exchanged any dialogue in the forums etc and they open with "Hey" or "How's it going?" Or even "Great media wanna meet?"
How does this strike you? Is it just plain lazy and unimaginative? Do you shy away from such openings or do you engage them further and explore?
My own feelings are it is Lazy and gives me no reason to further any conversation but am I being too harsh and in the minority or are there others who think similarly?? (Paul)

 

[MP386]

Ok so this has been buzzing around in my head for a while, and following some fantastic but difficult subjects being broached lately I thought I would take a chance and post this!

First impressions.

So when someone messages you for the first time, you've never spoken before or exchanged any dialogue in the forums etc and they open with "Hey" or "How's it going?" Or even "Great media wanna meet?"
How does this strike you? Is it just plain lazy and unimaginative? Do you shy away from such openings or do you engage them further and explore?
My own feelings are it is Lazy and gives me no reason to further any conversation but am I being too harsh and in the minority or are there others who think similarly?? (Paul)

As no one often messages me first , it’s not something happens to me

First messages I find are quite difficult because they can be misconstrued , theres a fine line I guess between being boring ,flirty or down right disgusting...
First impression are probably what we base our feelings on how a person could be ... is it harsh don’t think so .,. You can only go by your own gut feelings ...
so makes note be more imaginative

 

[Deleted member 11852]

As a couple we get lots of messages like this as I’m sure all the couples do on here..I very rarely ignore them usually just politely say this is not a cattle market like some other sites out there,,people here like to chat and get to know you not jump straight into bed..I tell them to join in with threads and put the effort in to get to know people because as the name suggests social plays a big part here as well as the physical fun...it doesn’t always work sometimes you see them viewing how do I delete my account but you do get the few that are prepared to make the effort and become Pv,d and get involved with the threads...if there really crude messages I would just ignore them..W..

 

[Deleted member 8095]

As no one often messages me first , it’s not something happens to me

First messages I find are quite difficult because they can be misconstrued , theres a fine line I guess between being boring ,flirty or down right disgusting...
First impression are probably what we base our feelings on how a person could be ... is it harsh don’t think so .,. You can only go by your own gut feelings ...
so makes note be more imaginative

I understand that an ice breaker message can be difficult to think of but surely something a little more original than hey or hi ??
Don't panic about your imagination mate, do you need a #bigboy hug?!?

 

[Deleted member 8095]

As a couple we get lots of messages like this as I’m sure all the couples do on here..I very rarely ignore them usually just politely say this is not a cattle market like some other sites out there,,people here like to chat and get to know you not jump straight into bed..I tell them to join in with threads and put the effort in to get to know people because as the name suggests social plays a big part here as well as the physical fun...it doesn’t always work sometimes you see them viewing how do I delete my account but you do get the few that are prepared to make the effort and become Pv,d and get involved with the threads...if there really crude messages I would just ignore them..W..

Bang on W, the clue is in the name!! Maybe I'm having a grouchy day, but this type of message seems to be more annoying. It's like 'oh I'll say hey and she'll drop her knickers'

 

[Pearls]

Ok so this has been buzzing around in my head for a while, and following some fantastic but difficult subjects being broached lately I thought I would take a chance and post this!

First impressions.

So when someone messages you for the first time, you've never spoken before or exchanged any dialogue in the forums etc and they open with "Hey" or "How's it going?" Or even "Great media wanna meet?"
How does this strike you? Is it just plain lazy and unimaginative? Do you shy away from such openings or do you engage them further and explore?
My own feelings are it is Lazy and gives me no reason to further any conversation but am I being too harsh and in the minority or are there others who think similarly?? (Paul)

That’s a good question but for me personally comes with a big grey area. What I have learnt is, when it comes to new accounts that have no idea how this all works, they tend to speak first, think later. Is it right to ignore an account that may be just a bit shy and needs some tips on how it all works? Accounts like this, I’ll give a chance.

The “you have an amazing avatar, shame I’m not closer as I’d love to bend you over” types.
They are obviously not new and think this works for them and it’s a case of saying no politely

This goes for guys ladies and couples.
From us as a couple, we did receive a message off a lady, no PV and the opening line, hi how are you. Usually it would be a case of thanks for the message but once we know you are interested then we can chat more. Thinking this account was fake I messaged and suggested a PV, turns out it was real and we ended up meeting.

I think it’s down to your own judgment, if polite but vague or short. Maybe that could be down to nerves.
Or it could be down to being a complete dick ??

 

[Deleted member 11852]

I’m like you think they Could be a bit more imaginative even if they say you have some nice media would you like to start chatting and get to know me/us..but when you get the ones that say sexy pics do you want to meet I can travel..there the messages I really can’t be arsed with..W..

 

[Deleted member 11852]

I’m like you think they Could be a bit more imaginative even if they say you have some nice media would you like to start chatting and get to know me/us..but when you get the ones that say sexy pics do you want to meet I can travel..there the messages I really can’t be arsed with..W..

Having said that I do still try to be diplomatic and polite..maybe I just dont like offending anyone..W..

 

[LizandChris]

We don't get to many messages like that but if we do I'll always start a conversation, we're hear to find people ultimately, it doesn't take long to find out a bit more about a person and if there's a chance of compatibility, I'm crap at introductory messages so I don't hold that against anyone

 

[MP386]

I understand that an ice breaker message can be difficult to think of but surely something a little more original than hey or hi ??
Don't panic about your imagination mate, do you need a #bigboy hug?!?

Always need a hug from you #Bigboy

 

[Deleted member 8095]

That’s a good question but for me personally comes with a big grey area. What I have learnt is, when it comes to new accounts that have no idea how this all works, they tend to speak first, think later. Is it right to ignore an account that may be just a bit shy and needs some tips on how it all works? Accounts like this, I’ll give a chance.

The “you have an amazing avatar, shame I’m not closer as I’d love to bend you over” types.
They are obviously not new and think this works for them and it’s a case of saying no politely

This goes for guys ladies and couples.
From us as a couple, we did receive a message off a lady, no PV and the opening line, hi how are you. Usually it would be a case of thanks for the message but once we know you are interested then we can chat more. Thinking this account was fake I messaged and suggested a PV, turns out it was real and we ended up meeting.

I think it’s down to your own judgment, if polite but vague or short. Maybe that could be down to nerves.
Or it could be down to being a complete dick ??

I understand your point about new, shy accounts etc, my main bug is when you try to be polite and diplomatic, they either don't listen or as W @Welshcouple59 says, they then go to the delete my account thread.

Perhaps it is like the other thread where I suggested that education was the way forward?!

 

[Deleted member 8095]

We don't get to many messages like that but if we do I'll always start a conversation, we're hear to find people ultimately, it doesn't take long to find out a bit more about a person and if there's a chance of compatibility, I'm crap at introductory messages so I don't hold that against anyone

Fair point and well made ?

 

[SteveandDebs]

We are completely crap at judging people by first impressions by message. Much rather see people at socials etc.

The last new person we played with was someone we met at a social in Norwich and had he messaged us we would have deleted the message just based on his user name.

On the other side of the coin we have had really good message exchanges with people that have fizzled out and never ended up in a meeting.

 

[Deleted member 8095]

We are completely crap at judging people by first impressions by message. Much rather see people at socials etc.

The last new person we played with was someone we met at a social in Norwich and had he messaged us we would have deleted the message just based on his user name.

On the other side of the coin we have had really good message exchanges with people that have fizzled out and never ended up in a meeting.

Yes there is that side to it aswell !

 

[Deleted member 3175]

Ok so this has been buzzing around in my head for a while, and following some fantastic but difficult subjects being broached lately I thought I would take a chance and post this!

First impressions.

So when someone messages you for the first time, you've never spoken before or exchanged any dialogue in the forums etc and they open with "Hey" or "How's it going?" Or even "Great media wanna meet?"
How does this strike you? Is it just plain lazy and unimaginative? Do you shy away from such openings or do you engage them further and explore?
My own feelings are it is Lazy and gives me no reason to further any conversation but am I being too harsh and in the minority or are there others who think similarly?? (Paul)

In all honesty its the first move that they have made so we try to be open minded about it. I would probably be the same in a message as I am not good with the written word I just can't write what I want to say! I would engage in conversation with them get to know them better. We've had many of these and to be fair we have given them a chance, and many of them have then opened up a bit more and its lead to some great conversations and flirting. S xxxxx

 

[Deleted member 8095]

In all honesty its the first move that they have made so we try to be open minded about it. I would probably be the same in a message as I am not good with the written word I just can't write what I want to say! I would engage in conversation with them get to know them better. We've had many of these and to be fair we have given them a chance, and many of them have then opened up a bit more and its lead to some great conversations and flirting. S xxxxx

That's a fair point S and it would appear that i am in the minority on this one ?

 

[Deleted member 11852]

Not really in a minority p some messages are bad and when you try to be nice it's the same response.. . I think you have judge each message one at a time,, some are genuine newbies who are not sure about the site and some are just idiots looking for a quick jump with someone else's wife.. W..

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Not really in a minority p some messages are bad and when you try to be nice it's the same response.. . I think you have judge each message one at a time,, some are genuine newbies who are not sure about the site and some are just idiots looking for a quick jump with someone else's wife.. W..

If the want a quick jump with the wife, I'm the least of their worries ???

 

[Pearls]

If the want a quick jump with the wife, I'm the least of their worries ???

So does
Do u wanna chat!
Work?

 

[SteveandDebs]

So does
Do u wanna chat!
Work?

I know you weren't asking us but we'd say not usually although there will always be exceptions. i.E. if we are looking for someone particular at the time and the persons profile showed they matched.

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Ok so this has been buzzing around in my head for a while, and following some fantastic but difficult subjects being broached lately I thought I would take a chance and post this!

First impressions.

So when someone messages you for the first time, you've never spoken before or exchanged any dialogue in the forums etc and they open with "Hey" or "How's it going?" Or even "Great media wanna meet?"
How does this strike you? Is it just plain lazy and unimaginative? Do you shy away from such openings or do you engage them further and explore?
My own feelings are it is Lazy and gives me no reason to further any conversation but am I being too harsh and in the minority or are there others who think similarly?? (Paul)

Youve been here a while now but can you remember the first ever message you sent or replied to ,i can remember my first pm and i started with hi and thanx for liking my pics ,personally id make it clear if its the mr on the account replying,the sender will more than likely apologise which could indicate awkwardness on their part and it turn into good further pms or they just not reply which says it all

 

[Deleted member 3175]

That's a fair point S and it would appear that i am in the minority on this one ?

Not completely because normally the ones that just wanna jump into the sack only reply with a couple of words!

 

[Deleted member 8095]

So does
Do u wanna chat!
Work?

Yeah that would be a great opener!!

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Youve been here a while now but can you remember the first ever message you sent or replied to ,i can remember my first pm and i started with hi and thanx for liking my pics ,personally id make it clear if its the mr on the account replying,the sender will more than likely apologise which could indicate awkwardness on their part and it turn into good further pms or they just not reply which says it all

I can indeed remember the very first pm I sent, it was to a lovely lady who sadly left before Christmas, but (& maybe I'm just different) I put a lot of thought into the opening of my message, you know make it original and stand out kinda thing, but as i said perhaps I'm just different? (P)

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Not completely because normally the ones that just wanna jump into the sack only reply with a couple of words!

Well that's true!!