Hidden Relationships And Swinging..

[Lips_Pearls]

What if there was a hidden relationship & swinging involved and you were the swinging couple/swingle involved?

How would you feel?
How would you feel to be deceived?
This person is not only lying to you, but exposing you to to risks.. of a sexual kind..
as ever... x

 

[fincon]

I’m not sure I understand the question.

Someone who says they’re single but they’re actually playing away from home?

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I’m not sure I understand the question.

Someone who says they’re single but they’re actually playing away from home?

Good morning. You’ve got it.. we often see some people say: I’m in a relationship or am married and it’s not working etc etc (no judging from here) - but what about those who are in a relationship and swing on the side quietly but act as a single person online in the lifestyle?

 

[Pearls]

I would say a lot. Married people obviously sadly. This scene offers the wrong attention at times and people just can’t help themselves no matter how small. Singles, the same thing even singles preying on couples or one half of the couple and again not being honest with what’s going on
Singles who are single but are they?
Something was brought to my attention recently about a single account and this is something that is prevalent in the scene.
Honesty is the best policy.

 

[Tiger]

Absolutely honesty is always the best policy!

This quote fits perfectly here:
"Oh! What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive"

Never a truer word said.

Unfortunately, it takes two people to perpetuate the lie, the person who is lying and the one accepting the lie! because they don’t want to believe the truth!

Tiger xx

 

[Ahabs]

I am in a relationship. We are however both swingers (her profile name: TattooedHB). We have both been on different sites together including SS. We in fact both attended the social at Partners in October 2017 (one or two may remember her?), and are very much aware of what either do with no secrets.

Why is she not as active here? There are a couple of simple answers, and a couple of complex ones:
1. The simple answer(s): she cannot stand "text/chatrooms/forums/email pingpong". Never has, prefers to engage in person socially and see if there's any chemistry. If there is, arrange something for a future date. So you can see how being active online doesn't work for her here.
2. The complex answer(s): she is not one for changing (believe me, just trying different foods has been like pulling teeth, lol), plus she has a very specific (albeit limited) preference range, one which unfortunately she cannot find on SS, so sadly she doesn't invest her time.

We have been together 9 years (next weekend,... yes, jokes about less for murder, lol) and in that time we have only ever had meets with 3 couples, 2 of which have split up, and the 3rd we're lucky to see once a year. And as her preference carries over into couples, its proven more productive and more successful for us to swing as singles.

Now, its not that we don't want couples, we do. But she isn't one for budging on her preference, and neither of us will "take one for the team" (if anyone know what that term means, lol), and she doesn't meet couples on her own either. With that said, if we were approached by a couple that we all got on and the gent met her preference/criteria, then for sure we'd look int it, but like I said: 3 couples in 9 years.

So, am I playing away? Nope: I have my computer open at home and she can pick up my phone anytime. If need be, I can have her come online to vouch. Will she back on the SS "active" list? Only time will tell.

As for said preference of hers: lets just say everyone has a preference (whether we know or admit to it or not) and is entitled to theirs.

 

[fincon]

Honesty is the best policy.

Couldn’t agree more. And after world peace and an end to world hunger, we’ll get right onto it.

I think it’s a great idea, but entirely unachievable.

You know why I entered the scene. You know that I was entirely honest to people inside the scene, if not to my spouse-I-hadn’t-had-sex-with-for-half-a-decade-and-never-had-sex-with-again.

But here’s the thing: you want to know if someone’s lying, about this or anything else? Ask yourself: ‘how would they act any differently if they were lying?’

The tale I tell about me/ex-wife/celibate marriage happens to be true. Completely. BUT… had I wanted an excuse so I could have sex outside a sexually active marriage, it’d be a bloody good story to excuse my playing away from home, wouldn’t it?

Hoping for [complete] honesty from sexual partners inside this world? Sure. Expecting it? Never.

 

[Therapon]

How would you feel?
How would you feel to be deceived?
This person is not only lying to you, but exposing you to to risks.. of a sexual kind..
as ever... x

How would I feel, annoyed, cheated, used.

 

[Colin]

I lost my wife a few years ago through a massive cerebral hemorrhage and i know i would have been gutted if she was cheating on me. We had a normal relationship but talked about swopping but we both aggread that it would cause us both pain so we never went into it.. So where does that leave me now i want to try this lifestyle i met a couple from *** as they were local to me and i enjoyed it so if truth beknown if i had had the chance to cheat would i and would i feel guilty who knows

 

[Pearls]

I lost my wife a few years ago through a massive cerebral hemorrhage and i know i would have been gutted if she was cheating on me. We had a normal relationship but talked about swopping but we both aggread that it would cause us both pain so we never went into it.. So where does that leave me now i want to try this lifestyle i met a couple from *** as they were local to me and i enjoyed it so if truth beknown if i had had the chance to cheat would i and would i feel guilty who knows

Sorry for your loss Colin. At least you’re honest.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I lost my wife a few years ago through a massive cerebral hemorrhage and i know i would have been gutted if she was cheating on me. We had a normal relationship but talked about swopping but we both aggread that it would cause us both pain so we never went into it.. So where does that leave me now i want to try this lifestyle i met a couple from *** as they were local to me and i enjoyed it so if truth beknown if i had had the chance to cheat would i and would i feel guilty who knows

Sorry for your loss Colin. At least you’re honest.

Agreed, sorry for your loss Col.

 

[Deleted member 11852]

I lost my wife a few years ago through a massive cerebral hemorrhage and i know i would have been gutted if she was cheating on me. We had a normal relationship but talked about swopping but we both aggread that it would cause us both pain so we never went into it.. So where does that leave me now i want to try this lifestyle i met a couple from *** as they were local to me and i enjoyed it so if truth beknown if i had had the chance to cheat would i and would i feel guilty who knows

Sorry for your loss Colin x

 

[PaintedDreams]

This is a unfortunate part of the scene that one might come across, there are always people who lie.. all I can do is be true to myself and others and hope anyone I interact with in the scene (when I finally do dip my toe) is being true to me, be it single people or couples or a group (naughty boy).

I'm single (and engage in casual sex now and again) for a while now but if I was ever to enter a relationship (which I can't see happening anytime soon) the way I go about things would change with immediate effect, maybe it would be the end of any swinging activities or maybe it would be the start of swinging activities as part of a couple or my partner giving permission for me to play with others (all depends on how she felt about things) but if I was able to play it would always be clear to anyone I'd play with that I have a partner and she knows about the play that's to take place.

For me there's no point entering a relationship if I and my partner are not going to be honest with each other, its disrespectful not to be (plus a relationship of lies would just be to much work haha), so by effect of that I will be honest with anyone outside of the relationship that I play with.

 

[Louise94]

What if there was a hidden relationship & swinging involved and you were the swinging couple/swingle involved?

How would you feel?
How would you feel to be deceived?
This person is not only lying to you, but exposing you to to risks.. of a sexual kind..
as ever... x

I’ve had that feeling a couple of times...for me, it’s like being winded - when you’ve been knocked flat on your back.
I try my best (and probably fail a lot) to be considerate of people’s feelings so then to discover there is a whole other human I should have been thinking about, well, it scrambles my brain.

So yes, please be honest and, just as importantly, forthcoming with information such as this. I completely appreciate that people have special circumstances and permission to meet as a single whilst still part of a couple but the more informed I am, the happier I am about the decisions I make.

Xxx

 

[Deleted member 11852]

Well I can honestly say that won't happen with us as the profile is for both of us we have access to each other's phone anytime not that we need it though and we discuss everything so there's never anything to hide.you can only take everything at face value and hope that anyone you meet up with is being as truthful and honest as you are..w..xx

 

[Deleted member 11094]

So yes, please be honest and, just as importantly, forthcoming with information such as this. I completely appreciate that people have special circumstances and permission to meet as a single whilst still part of a couple but the more informed I am, the happier I am about the decisions I make.

Xxx

Well said, I agree
X

 

[StokeChoke]

I have always been single while Swinging or Swinging with a FWB.

Coming back this time I was in a failing relationship when I attended the Birthday Bash the relationship ended 2 days after.

I’ve seen many Swinging relationships fail due to dishonesty, I’ve met many people acting as single when they have a wife/husband at home.

Being upfront and honest is definitely the right way to be in the Swinging scene or in life generally

 

[Lips_Pearls]

What if there was a hidden relationship & swinging involved and you were the swinging couple/swingle involved?

How would you feel?
How would you feel to be deceived?
This person is not only lying to you, but exposing you to to risks.. of a sexual kind..
as ever... x

Could be very dangerous, no?

 

[Tiger]

Could be very dangerous, no?

Yes, it could be very dangerous, on so many levels! the question you have to ask yourself is, is it really swinging?

If there is deception then it’s not! It’s cheating regardless of how you dress it up!


Tiger xx

 

[Deleted member 16044]

I have always been single while Swinging or Swinging with a FWB.

Coming back this time I was in a failing relationship when I attended the Birthday Bash the relationship ended 2 days after.

I’ve seen many Swinging relationships fail due to dishonesty, I’ve met many people acting as single when they have a wife/husband at home.

Being upfront and honest is definitely the right way to be in the Swinging scene or in life generally

this deleted person here nails it on the head

 

[Deleted member 16044]

Could be very dangerous, no?

Lies, dishonesty, cheating are all board games in life people play real games. What do you think it really does go hand in hand you do the lies and dishonesty and cheating real life relationships will always be disasters
no one in their right mind would want to be with a liar, cheat, bullshits all the time the bigger lies hole you dig the harder it will be for you to dig yourself out of it

upfront
honest
no lies
no cheating what do you gain, power control and real life mind games suck big time and yes it happens to me a lot of the time

 

[Deleted member 16044]

this deleted person here nails it on the head

sadly many do not swing from the same attitude and have to spin lies
make out they are interested and not
games is for kids
we are adults here
if you are going to pretend to people with lies and bullshit stay off my patch x x

 

[Deleted member 16044]

sadly many do not swing from the same attitude and have to spin lies
make out they are interested and not
games is for kids
we are adults here
if you are going to pretend to people with lies and bullshit stay off my patch x x

you also mentioned the other day about blocking people that this site is not for that
if someone lies to me am I supposed to just ignore and not block them
or two faced people can also not be a friend on here
thanks muchly x x
the many faces of jekyl and Hyde

 

[Deleted member 3411]

There is no room in swinging for anything hidden. The whole point of swinging is NOT to need to hide anything. If you do need to hide something your here for the wring reasons.