I/we Never Play On A First Meet

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9 January 2018
924
3,291
City
Norwich
I posted this question on another site and someone suggested I post it here and see if the answers were the same. The question is:

What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?

Someone then said "I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up"

Which was exactly what I meant :)


So you have
@Corfu_Connie_john
to blame for me wittering all over the Fantasy section and the rest of the forum

Steve
 
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Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,089
120,746
I think it comes down to what suits the individual best, if all are comfortable then go for it, if not then perhaps a second meet is needed.
 
Lovernotfighter

MOTM

3 February 2016
6,677
16,780
City
York
I think not playing on a first meet quite common as people want to feel comfortable and safe with play mates, nevermind the whole thing 'it's as about socialising and meeting new people' philosophy many people and site like the one foster relating to swinging.
 
D

Deleted member 3411

For some it will be because they want to talk it over together, and have time to think it over and be able to discuss free from the pressure of the moment. I'm sure we've all at some time or other jumped at a chance then next morning though "oh! God, why did I......"
 

Vanezza

Stud Muffin
11 May 2017
11,326
37,264
50
Not had that much experience swinging but i can only imagine that you need a no play meet to get to know each other and just have a chat because you may click on site but you may not click when you meet so putting a play on a first meet in place seems to add too much pressure. And i hope that makes sense :)

Vxxx
 

Arb

3 September 2017
160
653
45
City
Oxford
Personally I never went into a meet with the thought that play was going to happen.

Always prefer to just have a drink and a chat in a neutral place and see how we get on.

On some meets I’ve had such a great time with the social that times gone by and there is simply no time.

Other times I’ve just not felt it, and that swings both ways.
 
9 January 2018
924
3,291
City
Norwich
Not had that much experience swinging but i can only imagine that you need a no play meet to get to know each other and just have a chat because you may click on site but you may not click when you meet so putting a play on a first meet in place seems to add too much pressure. And i hope that makes sense :)

Vxxx

I understand that, I just wondered people's reasons for saying definitely not on a first meet
 
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9 January 2018
924
3,291
City
Norwich
For some it will be because they want to talk it over together, and have time to think it over and be able to discuss free from the pressure of the moment. I'm sure we've all at some time or other jumped at a chance then next morning though "oh! God, why did I......"
Ahh now you see we do things a bit differently. A keyword means no and that is it :)
 
D

Deleted member 7954

I think i would just meet with the intention of having fun and going with the flow. If play on a first meet feels right..then id go with it. I woudnt ever rule it out as each person and therefore each meet is different xx
 
19 March 2015
23,755
64,897
I posted this question on another site and someone suggested I post it here and see if the answers were the same. The question is:

What reasons do people have for not playing on a first meet?

Someone then said "I think the OP might be asking why if once you met that person and decided yes I want to play that the play doesn't happen that day rather than asking why people don't get down to it as soon as they turn up"

Which was exactly what I meant :)


So you have
@Corfu_Connie_john
to blame for me wittering all over the Fantasy section and the rest of the forum

Steve

I think it comes down to what suits the individual best, if all are comfortable then go for it, if not then perhaps a second meet is needed.

This ^^
But that said, we have played on first meets too. Hell we've had a single lady come to ours, alone, for the weekend and had a blast!
It all depends on what, when, who, why and if there is a connection or spark there.
Sometimes another meet or two, maybe three, is what's needed to find it.. :) x
 
N

No longer with us.

Pre planning, expectations, disappointment are just some of the reasons why, if anything ever happens with us, it has to be spontaneous and almost unexpected.
 
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26 July 2016
2,347
3,886
City
Bolton
We always do a first meet at a pub and meet on the it will be for a couple of drinks basis. But we do also say if all goes well and we all want to we can go back to our house. Some times its hell yes and other times we just don't all click. You just can't tell from chatted on line.
 
W

Wheels

I think people that put that on there profile are just saving confusion and expectations (not saying that you should expect anything). That isn't to say that chemistry wont take over but if it says we don't play on first meets then by speaking and arranging a meet you should discount anything happening the first time just enjoy getting to know the people involved.

Yes we are on a swinging site but respect of rules and boundaries is a must.
 
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9 January 2016
481
1,417
City
Reading
Could it be because they aren’t looking for a casual thing, but something that can last multiple meets.
By saying no play would put the casuals off straightaway I would imagine.

Complete guess, I’ve got very little idea how all this works
 
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J

jondevil

I believe it all depends on how you each get on with each other and how comfortable you are with them. Also if your looking for the same thing such as a one night stand or a longer relationship
 
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19 March 2015
23,755
64,897
This ^^
But that said, we have played on first meets too. Hell we've had a single lady come to ours, alone, for the weekend and had a blast!
It all depends on what, when, who, why and if there is a connection or spark there.
Sometimes another meet or two, maybe three, is what's needed to find it.. :) x
I believe it all depends on how you each get on with each other and how comfortable you are with them. Also if your looking for the same thing such as a one night stand or a longer relationship
Yeah agreed, as I said above - in our opinion it really depends on the spark, if comfy with each other and a connection if any. It's so dependant on all of those and more.