Members existing and new

[MP386]

This is a more serious thread than the light hearted one I’ve posted since so since being excluded from some threads I’ve been thinking why do the large proportion of new and existing members not really get involved in threads ...
Is it a throw over to the “Other” swinging sites where they are not so interactive as here ...
Is it those members don’t know how to engage in the threads are they just doing things via direct messages ...
We have a core of members here that do contribute but lately may be it’s just me but that seems to have dropped off to less and less .... maybe it’s my threads that aren’t getting the replies ...
This has always been a very social place so why is it that newbies on the whole join and leave immediately.... does this sort of interaction frighten them ....
Obviously we have loads of males joining, most flop the cock and go ,does that work elsewhere?
Why is single ladies after joining seem to sit back and not want to get involved are they intimidated by the males here ?
To thrive the site needs more with staying power but not sure what the answer is to keep them here ...

 

[DandDforfun]

Not sure that a few haven't just been after the quick reaction and to see if they can get an instant hook up - with the thought in mind that because it’s a swingers sight anything goes even in these times! (and I may well now be shot down in ? sorry)

 

[Lips_Pearls]

This is a more serious thread than the light hearted one I’ve posted since so since being excluded from some threads I’ve been thinking why do the large proportion of new and existing members not really get involved in threads ...
Is it a throw over to the “Other” swinging sites where they are not so interactive as here ...
Is it those members don’t know how to engage in the threads are they just doing things via direct messages ...
We have a core of members here that do contribute but lately may be it’s just me but that seems to have dropped off to less and less .... maybe it’s my threads that aren’t getting the replies ...
This has always been a very social place so why is it that newbies on the whole join and leave immediately.... does this sort of interaction frighten them ....
Obviously we have loads of males joining, most flop the cock and go ,does that work elsewhere?
Why is single ladies after joining seem to sit back and not want to get involved are they intimidated by the males here ?
To thrive the site needs more with staying power but not sure what the answer is to keep them here ...

I don’t get it either tbh and you know this. Always made a concerted effort to ensure the ethos remains and that it’s as inclusive as possible.
The site has a plethora of features and there’s always something being added to try and make it better.
Certain threads - hell, I’ve made I don’t know how many and it’s always hit and miss.
The fun type ones take off, the sexier ones are hit & miss.
Just one of those things I think. ??‍

 

[MP386]

Not sure that a few haven't just been after the quick reaction and to see if they can get an instant hook up - with the thought in mind that because it’s a swingers sight anything goes even in these times! (and I may well now be shot down in ? sorry)

No one will shot you down in flames ? just interested in others views .. xx

 

[MP386]

I don’t get it either tbh and you know this. Always made a concerted effort to ensure the ethos remains and that it’s as inclusive as possible.
The site has a plethora of features and there’s always something being added to try and make it better.
Certain threads - hell, I’ve made I don’t know how many and it’s always hit and miss.
The fun type ones take off, the sexier ones are hit & miss.
Just one of those things I think. ??‍

I know it has been discussed before but it’s a mystery to me ....

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I know it has been discussed before but it’s a mystery to me ....

Same. I genuinely don’t get it. It can rattle us at times tbh as we question our resolve if that makes sense. ??

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Not sure that a few haven't just been after the quick reaction and to see if they can get an instant hook up - with the thought in mind that because it’s a swingers sight anything goes even in these times! (and I may well now be shot down in ? sorry)

You won’t get shot down in flames for having an opinion. X

 

[MP386]

Obviously with what’s gone on over the last week or so , I do wonder if I do to much do people see me as over powering,trying to hard ..... desperate for a shag ( I won’t deny that one )
We all know swinging can become cliquey so is it the cliques forming and being on the out side ...
I do message a hello to many , most don’t reply as a part of trying to entice people in but that doesn’t seem to work often...
even now I still use the word games which was how I started to get involved originally... then that led yo chatting to people which let to losing my swinging virginity so the less sexual threads do have a purpose I think ..
I do wonder now if lots just sit on the fence not wanting to become embroiled in site politics ...

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Ok so this is just my opinion based on watching what's been going on over recent months. When a new account is opened by anyone be that male, female or a couple several well wishers come out and say hi. Now whilst this is great and warm and friendly it pollutes the news feed and could be seen as a way to force people to interact before they are ready to. Then we get the info posts regarding upcoming events etc. Now again whilst this is very friendly and can be helpful to some, to the majority I'd suggest it's overkill right at the beginning. If we think back to pre lockdown it was agreed that there would be a specific welcome thread so as not to pollute the feed and if memory serves someone suggested a welcome pack which contains links to relevant pages etc. I remember what it was like being new, but back then we had the quiz and other things going on during the week that got people involved and I agree with @MP386 that there is a core membership and it has dwindled, that includes us. Given the current state of things and the uncertainty of what's ahead I'm not sure that it will improve anytime soon, that being said however, those of us who can be active should be active and perhaps that will encourage and entice new members who are also active sexy swingers!! Be lucky (P)

 

[MP386]

Ok so this is just my opinion based on watching what's been going on over recent months. When a new account is opened by anyone be that male, female or a couple several well wishers come out and say hi. Now whilst this is great and warm and friendly it pollutes the news feed and could be seen as a way to force people to interact before they are ready to. Then we get the info posts regarding upcoming events etc. Now again whilst this is very friendly and can be helpful to some, to the majority I'd suggest it's overkill right at the beginning. If we think back to pre lockdown it was agreed that there would be a specific welcome thread so as not to pollute the feed and if memory serves someone suggested a welcome pack which contains links to relevant pages etc. I remember what it was like being new, but back then we had the quiz and other things going on during the week that got people involved and I agree with @MP386 that there is a core membership and it has dwindled, that includes us. Given the current state of things and the uncertainty of what's ahead I'm not sure that it will improve anytime soon, that being said however, those of us who can be active should be active and perhaps that will encourage and entice new members who are also active sexy swingers!! Be lucky (P)

So if someone joins and no one interacts will they not think there’s no one on here .... how long do you wait before interacting ?

 

[Deleted member 8095]

So if someone joins and no one interacts will they not think there’s no one on here .... how long do you wait before interacting ?

I'm not saying that but think of this, one account is opened and several existing accounts all welcome them, now times that by say 8 accounts per day and soon the news feed is full of the same thing. So it looks like there is nothing much going on besides welcomes! Sadly it's a catch 22 situation but one that could be side stepped (in my opinion) to it's own thread, therefore people can do the whole welcome aboard bit, but it keeps the feed clean for the dirty stuff !!

 

[Deleted member 19022]

As a newbie to the site and to swinging I see that the same people are making comments and posting pics. I have tried to interact and for the most get a response. I myself know that you are not going to meet someone or a couple immediately even more so due to the current situation.
Maybe newbies are not joining in out of shyness or they are thinking will we be made to feel welcome. I am on another site that basically I am totally ignored. If you try to contact another member you get blocked or even told to go away in a very rude manner. This does knock a newbie's confidence.
Everyone I have interacted with on this site has been very friendly and helpful, for that I can only say thank you. I make no apologies for my humour ?

 

[Joe876]

I'm also a newbie, personally I'm kind of just feeling my way into the site, I'm also on other sites and like what has been said before being new you do tend to get ignored or basically no interaction with anyone, I'm not saying you guys are anything like the people on the other sites, its easier for a newbie too see if he/she is going to get any Interaction first before we tend to join in.

 

[MP386]

As a newbie to the site and to swinging I see that the same people are making comments and posting pics. I have tried to interact and for the most get a response. I myself know that you are not going to meet someone or a couple immediately even more so due to the current situation.
Maybe newbies are not joining in out of shyness or they are thinking will we be made to feel welcome. I am on another site that basically I am totally ignored. If you try to contact another member you get blocked or even told to go away in a very rude manner. This does knock a newbie's confidence.
Everyone I have interacted with on this site has been very friendly and helpful, for that I can only say thank you. I make no apologies for my humour ?

I'm also a newbie, personally I'm kind of just feeling my way into the site, I'm also on other sites and like what has been said before being new you do tend to get ignored or basically no interaction with anyone, I'm not saying you guys are anything like the people on the other sites, its easier for a newbie too see if he/she is going to get any Interaction first before we tend to join in.

This is sort of my point .... other sites (I’ve tried them) single blokes on the whole get treated like crap .... this site has always been all inclusive (until recently) , couples and single ladies in this lifestyle will always rule the roost so I was always advised you need to stand out to be accepted... so does sitting back not work against you in this situation ...
Nothing ventured,nothing gained getting involved shows me that you want to be here and be part of this community ...

 

[Lips_Pearls]

this site has always been all inclusive (until recently)

Yes but that’s not the site, that’s more of a personal matter. The site’s inclusiveness is still the same. Other members’ decisions and actions, don’t change the sites inclusion. ??
edit:
I just wanted to clarify that. That’s all.

 

[Joe876]

Getting involved yes hopefully will get us newbies noticed, and believe me this is more interaction on this site so far in 1 day than most of the other sites put together, but personally speaking we also don't want to come across as too much to soon, and I think that's why they stay quiet

 

[Deleted member 19022]

Getting involved yes hopefully will get us newbies noticed, and believe me this is more interaction on this site so far in 1 day than most of the other sites put together, but personally speaking we also don't want to come across as too much to soon, and I think that's why they stay quiet

The first piece advice I got on here was to get involved in the forums, you get noticed and more people will interact with you. I have tried to do this, maybe a little over the top sometimes which is certainly not my intention. Maybe its a case of trying too hard which I understand will put more experienced swingers off. There's a very fine line and sometimes its difficult for a newbie to recognise this line.

 

[MP386]

Yes but that’s not the site, that’s more of a personal matter. The site’s inclusiveness is still the same. Other members’ decisions and actions, don’t change the sites inclusion. ??
edit:
I just wanted to clarify that. That’s all.

The way I see it the actions of members affect the inclusiveness even if the site itself hasn’t changed ...

 

[Lips_Pearls]

the site itself hasn’t changed ...

Which is my point. ☝? even though I see your point, it does come across that the site “was” inclusive until recently.
By which you mean for you, because someone has blocked you for w/e reason. That’s a very valid point that I had to outline. Know what I mean?

 

[MP386]

Which is my point. ☝? even though I see your point, it does come across that the site “was” inclusive until recently.
By which you mean for you, because someone has blocked you for w/e reason. That’s a very valid point that I had to outline. Know what I mean?

Ok so I worded it wrongly

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Ok so I worded it wrongly

Not entirely, I just wanted to make sure that no one thought “what does he mean the site was inclusive until recently?”. ??

 

[DandDforfun]

I hate to say it but I think the thread is going astray a little as in the lines are becoming blurred between two very valid points - 1 the site and 2 - a personal issue ☹

 

[Lips_Pearls]

As a newbie to the site and to swinging I see that the same people are making comments and posting pics. I have tried to interact and for the most get a response. I myself know that you are not going to meet someone or a couple immediately even more so due to the current situation.
Maybe newbies are not joining in out of shyness or they are thinking will we be made to feel welcome. I am on another site that basically I am totally ignored. If you try to contact another member you get blocked or even told to go away in a very rude manner. This does knock a newbie's confidence.
Everyone I have interacted with on this site has been very friendly and helpful, for that I can only say thank you. I make no apologies for my humour ?

I'm also a newbie, personally I'm kind of just feeling my way into the site, I'm also on other sites and like what has been said before being new you do tend to get ignored or basically no interaction with anyone, I'm not saying you guys are anything like the people on the other sites, its easier for a newbie too see if he/she is going to get any Interaction first before we tend to join in.

This instant blocking and ignoring of members, really irks me.


Some extremely valid points have been aired in this thread so far, which is, in my opinion, very informative and useful! ??

 

[Stew]

Maybe it’s time the views of the wider population were counselled ! Find out what they require

I from time to time check the members on line and there are quite a few people in but who knows what they are doing because there is so little interaction happening in the forums ! What am I missing ? Is there a magic area of the site I’ve yet to discover where all the action is ?? If not where are they? What are they doing ?

I also check alerts , if there’s a thread that interests me I will respond ! But in the main it’s a list of change a letter alerts ! ( no offence to the people that play ) but again very little interaction outside of CAL,

I have a gander at new media ( of course ) and again if there is a pic of interest it will get a coat of looking at !!! But even the allure of our beautiful ladies and manly men barely gives us headlines nowadays

this site is and always was the premier swinging site ! So why the lethargy and apathy !! What worries me is that it will become a case of use it or lose it !!
Im aware it costs a fair amount of money to run the site and believe me there is never a bottomless pool of money to support it
Please don’t shoot me for voicing my opinion or two !!

 

[Deleted member 19022]

I have to agree with you on this. I do see lots of people online but it seems to be the regular few that chat. I do play the change a letter or word games in the anticipation that more join in.
I think with the socials not happening people maybe haven't the interest that they once had. I do hope I'm wrong. Then again being new to the site I didn't expect to have as much fun as I am having. This is thanks to the fabulous people that have made me feel very welcome. After trying another certain site I began to think it was maybe the way. I'm not the best at starting up a chat with someone after my confidence was hit for 6 on that site.
Hopefully it will pick up i do hope so and personally tend to preserve.