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Need advice

Posts
3
Location
Sheffield
I wasn’t sure where to post this but I’m struggling right now my fiancé and I recently started talking about swinging I wasn’t ok with it at first but with persuasion she managed to change my mind. She met another man last night and honestly I feel like it’s ruined us I can’t blame her as it takes two to tango but I’m not sure I can be with her anymore I’m trying to push it to the back of my mind but it’s just there it’s like I don’t see her as her anymore she’s tried comforting me deleted all accounts straight away can’t fault her effort in her reactions but will these feelings go? I’ve never been in this situation before she knows my kink is Dom we have a sm relationship but this isn’t what I want I still see her as solely mine maybe it’s the Dom in me? I know people are going to say things like play with devil etc but if you don’t try it how do you know if you like it but I feel like talking about it and doing it are completely separate now any advice? I feel like I should leave her now rather than string her on she is a good women and at least deserves that I’m hoping this community is decent and not just going to kick me while I’m down just seeking genuine advice
 

Lips_Pearls

PV
Sprtr
Posts
15,529
Location
Swansea, United Kingdom
I wasn’t sure where to post this but I’m struggling right now my fiancé and I recently started talking about swinging I wasn’t ok with it at first but with persuasion she managed to change my mind. She met another man last night and honestly I feel like it’s ruined us I can’t blame her as it takes two to tango but I’m not sure I can be with her anymore I’m trying to push it to the back of my mind but it’s just there it’s like I don’t see her as her anymore she’s tried comforting me deleted all accounts straight away can’t fault her effort in her reactions but will these feelings go? I’ve never been in this situation before she knows my kink is Dom we have a sm relationship but this isn’t what I want I still see her as solely mine maybe it’s the Dom in me? I know people are going to say things like play with devil etc but if you don’t try it how do you know if you like it but I feel like talking about it and doing it are completely separate now any advice? I feel like I should leave her now rather than string her on she is a good women and at least deserves that I’m hoping this community is decent and not just going to kick me while I’m down just seeking genuine advice
Welcome to the site.
The only passing comment I can make is, why are you meeting and allowing meetings to happen during a crisis and lockdown?🤦🏻‍♂️
 

Colin

PV
Sprtr
Posts
1,465
Location
Bolton, United Kingdom
Also if your engaged why are you registered as single surely you could have both come on seeing as she is meeting others and then you could both look around and see if anything appeals with you both. IMHO there is something fake about this??
 
Posts
3
Location
Sheffield
Also if your engaged why are you registered as single surely you could have both come on seeing as she is meeting others and then you could both look around and see if anything appeals with you both. IMHO there is something fake about this??
she doesn’t even know I’m on this site writing we was using ****(Spam)**** I literally came on for advice honestly don’t need lecturing
 

Lips_Pearls

PV
Sprtr
Posts
15,529
Location
Swansea, United Kingdom
I wasn’t sure where to post this but I’m struggling right now my fiancé and I recently started talking about swinging I wasn’t ok with it at first but with persuasion she managed to change my mind. She met another man last night and honestly I feel like it’s ruined us I can’t blame her as it takes two to tango but I’m not sure I can be with her anymore I’m trying to push it to the back of my mind but it’s just there it’s like I don’t see her as her anymore she’s tried comforting me deleted all accounts straight away can’t fault her effort in her reactions but will these feelings go? I’ve never been in this situation before she knows my kink is Dom we have a sm relationship but this isn’t what I want I still see her as solely mine maybe it’s the Dom in me? I know people are going to say things like play with devil etc but if you don’t try it how do you know if you like it but I feel like talking about it and doing it are completely separate now any advice? I feel like I should leave her now rather than string her on she is a good women and at least deserves that I’m hoping this community is decent and not just going to kick me while I’m down just seeking genuine advice
Have you told her your feelings?
 
Posts
3
Location
Sheffield
I get what your saying but shit happens look at every one having bbqs etc birthday parties I’m not the only one not justifying what it is but seriously what advice has been offered lol 😂 I take advice on what I’ve asked for not opinions there is a difference
 

Miss-Sexy-Legs

Admin
PV
Sprtr
I get what your saying but shit happens look at every one having bbqs etc birthday parties I’m not the only one not justifying what it is but seriously what advice has been offered lol 😂 I take advice on what I’ve asked for not opinions there is a difference
I have given you advice so please think about what i have said and also show some respect to others on site as you did first post your partner had met ,then in that respect others will react to it in the present circumstances the country faces
 

Tiger

PV
Sprtr
Posts
3,067
Location
Worcester, UK
I wasn’t sure where to post this but I’m struggling right now my fiancé and I recently started talking about swinging I wasn’t ok with it at first but with persuasion she managed to change my mind. She met another man last night and honestly I feel like it’s ruined us I can’t blame her as it takes two to tango but I’m not sure I can be with her anymore I’m trying to push it to the back of my mind but it’s just there it’s like I don’t see her as her anymore she’s tried comforting me deleted all accounts straight away can’t fault her effort in her reactions but will these feelings go? I’ve never been in this situation before she knows my kink is Dom we have a sm relationship but this isn’t what I want I still see her as solely mine maybe it’s the Dom in me? I know people are going to say things like play with devil etc but if you don’t try it how do you know if you like it but I feel like talking about it and doing it are completely separate now any advice? I feel like I should leave her now rather than string her on she is a good women and at least deserves that I’m hoping this community is decent and not just going to kick me while I’m down just seeking genuine advice
You have to do a lot of soul searching, have a long & open chat with your Fiance! These feelings aren’t uncommon! Lots of people have them, it’s how you deal with it & the steps you take from this point on that matters
 

tricky-dicky

PV
Sprtr
Posts
117
I wasn’t sure where to post this but I’m struggling right now my fiancé and I recently started talking about swinging I wasn’t ok with it at first but with persuasion she managed to change my mind. She met another man last night and honestly I feel like it’s ruined us I can’t blame her as it takes two to tango but I’m not sure I can be with her anymore I’m trying to push it to the back of my mind but it’s just there it’s like I don’t see her as her anymore she’s tried comforting me deleted all accounts straight away can’t fault her effort in her reactions but will these feelings go? I’ve never been in this situation before she knows my kink is Dom we have a sm relationship but this isn’t what I want I still see her as solely mine maybe it’s the Dom in me? I know people are going to say things like play with devil etc but if you don’t try it how do you know if you like it but I feel like talking about it and doing it are completely separate now any advice? I feel like I should leave her now rather than string her on she is a good women and at least deserves that I’m hoping this community is decent and not just going to kick me while I’m down just seeking genuine advice
My 2 pence worth, you said your fiancé had a meet, normally this wouldn't be an issue but in the current climate is highly irresponsible and is going to attract scorn, but what is done is done, I just hope for her sake and yourself the meet she had was COVID-19 free, Moving on to the swinging you see yourself as a Dom, I see you more as some one who wants to be in control of the relationship. I've met one or two Doms and Dommes and the main focus of the relationship is the needs of the Sub, proper Dom/Sub relationships are real melon twisters to most people and I struggle to get my head round some of the subtleties. Whether you are Dom or not is not the issue is it? you said it yourself "I still see her as solely mine" swinging is about sharing and trust. If you can't get over your worries reguarding her seeing others you need to be honest with her, talk to her, worst that can happen is you both go your separate ways, maybe she'll settle for the 1-2-1 relationship I think you your self seek, as for swinging until you can happily share, it's not for you IMHO.
 

MP386

PV
Sprtr
Posts
19,435
Location
Dartford, Kent, United Kingdom
I wasn’t sure where to post this but I’m struggling right now my fiancé and I recently started talking about swinging I wasn’t ok with it at first but with persuasion she managed to change my mind. She met another man last night and honestly I feel like it’s ruined us I can’t blame her as it takes two to tango but I’m not sure I can be with her anymore I’m trying to push it to the back of my mind but it’s just there it’s like I don’t see her as her anymore she’s tried comforting me deleted all accounts straight away can’t fault her effort in her reactions but will these feelings go? I’ve never been in this situation before she knows my kink is Dom we have a sm relationship but this isn’t what I want I still see her as solely mine maybe it’s the Dom in me? I know people are going to say things like play with devil etc but if you don’t try it how do you know if you like it but I feel like talking about it and doing it are completely separate now any advice? I feel like I should leave her now rather than string her on she is a good women and at least deserves that I’m hoping this community is decent and not just going to kick me while I’m down just seeking genuine advice
I have to agree with @Lips_Pearls meeting at this time isn’t the best idea but I would say from what you have written you have problems with your relationship that swinging won’t cure ...
If you love her I’m sure your do everything to save what you have but if you really feel that the relationship is ruined by her meeting others then maybe it’s time to move on to pastures new ..
 
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