Nervous Newbies?

[Lips_Pearls]

Are nervous newbies an off-put to more ardent swingers?
How do you feel about it?
Say they are more slower at coming forward, or are hesitant in actually meeting up.
Is this an issue for you? Do you find the community as a whole is more open for newbies to come in and try this or is it too quick to judge and shunt perhaps?

What if any new person(s) want to simply test the waters in the way of just watching here & there, the odd touch, feel, same room type of things?

 

[MP386]

We have all been new to this at some point , if your the Über confident type that’s great but most , I know I was and even after all this time i get nervous at meeting new people ... so anyone with nerves I know exactly how they feel ...,
Definitely wouldn’t put me off , for me this is about having fun , sometimes I think that the fun /sex gets lost in so much let’s be get social and comfortable it becomes all cliquey and bitchy which can put newbies off I would guess .... we are all here for the same thing essentially ....chatting gives the opportunity to get to know someone as much as you can before meeting , it helps that your not going in blind you do have some idea of likes ,dislikes any boundaries before hand ...
meeting can be a big step for anyone but for me when I was offered a first meet by a fantastic couple ,firstly I couldn’t believe it , but then my thoughts were if I don’t actually meet and try this will I ever know if it’s for me ...
I’ve never met anyone that has been a disaster they have all been in there own way fantastic experiences....
Arranging meets can be difficult as we all know , times ,dates real life .... I know some join expecting same day experiences,here that just doesn’t happen which maybe puts them off ...
I think here most people try to welcome and encourage newbies to stay ,unfortunately you see so many join and are gone as quickly as they came ...
if someone new just wants to test the waters like watching etc for me being a single it’s a little difficult as that scenario is probably more relevant to couples meeting ...

 

[The-Gent]

I think its every experienced swingers duty to make newbies feel welcome give them space, talk to them be pleasant but not forward,one small step for newbies a giant step for swinging!

 

[Deleted member 8095]

I'm not put off by newbies either nervous or confident as we were all there at one point in time, and in respect of their pace, well that choice belongs exclusively to them and no one should rush anyone into doing something that they may later regret, it must be organic. If they are hesitant in meeting then my attitude is that's ok, so long as you don't mess anyone around in the process, with regards to the community well I'd have to say that in my experience as a whole, no it is not very tolerant of newbies however the caveat to that would genuinely be this site, when we were new we were made to feel right at home!
So testing the waters? I think that depends on the conversation that would be had prior to any liaison and what each party wanted to get out of it, some swingers list themselves as full swap only whilst others are soft or cuck or whatever, me I'm a perv and I think that there is more than enough room for us all and if anyone wants a wee feel along the way, well I'm here and waiting? (P)

 

[Dangerous690]

I'm not put off by newbies either nervous or confident as we were all there at one point in time, and in respect of their pace, well that choice belongs exclusively to them and no one should rush anyone into doing something that they may later regret, it must be organic. If they are hesitant in meeting then my attitude is that's ok, so long as you don't mess anyone around in the process, with regards to the community well I'd have to say that in my experience as a whole, no it is not very tolerant of newbies however the caveat to that would genuinely be this site, when we were new we were made to feel right at home!
So testing the waters? I think that depends on the conversation that would be had prior to any liaison and what each party wanted to get out of it, some swingers list themselves as full swap only whilst others are soft or cuck or whatever, me I'm a perv and I think that there is more than enough room for us all and if anyone wants a wee feel along the way, well I'm here and waiting? (P)

Yes please ????????x

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Yes please ????????x

? What am I missing?!!

 

[Colin]

? What am I missing?!!

Think he's after a wee feel lol

 

[Dangerous690]

? What am I missing?!!

Sorry I think I am????x

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Oh right! Well let's try to keep the thread on track lol

 

[Deleted member 11852]

We always welcome newbies.. It was only just over 12 months ago we started and remember how daunting it was.. As for meeting newbies we have done twice and they were really great meets.. We have become really good friends with them as well as having naughty fun.. We think this is what it's all about.. W..

 

[Deleted member 9631]

agree the best way for newbies to get involved is with conversation, flirting first.
sorry but will have to pass up on the wee feel.
But Lou on the other hand!

 

[Deleted member 8095]

agree the best way for newbies to get involved is with conversation, flirting first.
sorry but will have to pass up on the wee feel.
But Lou on the other hand!

No offence taken big man?

 

[Dangerous690]

No offence taken big man?

No problem ???????

 

[Dangerous690]

agree the best way for newbies to get involved is with conversation, flirting first.
sorry but will have to pass up on the wee feel.
But Lou on the other hand!

Pmsl sorry?????

 

[Deleted member 9631]

Pmsl sorry?????

Fuck sake, yur making a right balls up of this today?

 

[Dangerous690]

Fuck sake, yur making a right balls up of this today?

It’s becoming a habit????

 

[Deleted member 19022]

From my point, I am a newbie, I am not an overly confident person but also not shy. I would be extremely nervous and no matter how many times I would have met the couple before and how relaxed and friendly they maybe, before anything happened there will be nerves. Over time I would grow in confidence but without the help and understanding of the more experienced swingers to guide and encourage newbies. I personally think that swinging numbers might dwindle over time and then the chancers and time wasters appear.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I personally think that swinging numbers might dwindle over time and then the chancers and time wasters appear.

Concurred... It's changing and not overly for the better in my humble opinion.

 

[Deleted member 17925]

As a newbie, I'm struggling with the mystique that appears to surround swinging !! ?‍
Granted, I know next to nothing about ?‍ ...... So please forgive my ignorance.
If I go out for the night & meet a fit lass or lasses in a bar, club, we go back & get it on ..... Its sex !!
If I go to a swingers club & meet a fit lass or lasses & we get it on ........ Isn't it the same ? Sex is sex, granted there is good & bad experiences but surely that happens both ways ??
Jeez, I fear ardent swingers are going to go for me now !! ?? ...... Bring it on ?

 

[Lips_Pearls]

As a newbie, I'm struggling with the mystique that appears to surround swinging !! ?‍
Granted, I know next to nothing about ?‍ ...... So please forgive my ignorance.
If I go out for the night & meet a fit lass or lasses in a bar, club, we go back & get it on ..... Its sex !!
If I go to a swingers club & meet a fit lass or lasses & we get it on ........ Isn't it the same ? Sex is sex, granted there is good & bad experiences but surely that happens both ways ??
Jeez, I fear ardent swingers are going to go for me now !! ?? ...... Bring it on ?

This is the thing; differentiating.

For us, it's bonding too. Not many like that, more a case of done and next but we like the intimacy of regularity.
Some do, others don't. It's cool either way aye.
Imagine being a lady and feeling let down after 12 hours of fun but nowt happening, or being the gent and getting your kicks the day after...
Funny old world.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

As a newbie, I'm struggling with the mystique that appears to surround swinging !! ?‍
Granted, I know next to nothing about ?‍ ...... So please forgive my ignorance.
If I go out for the night & meet a fit lass or lasses in a bar, club, we go back & get it on ..... Its sex !!
If I go to a swingers club & meet a fit lass or lasses & we get it on ........ Isn't it the same ? Sex is sex, granted there is good & bad experiences but surely that happens both ways ??
Jeez, I fear ardent swingers are going to go for me now !! ?? ...... Bring it on ?

And yes, it's the same. NSA.

 

[Tiger]

We were all newbies once, I remember my first time in a swingers club! I was like a rabbit caught in the headlights!

Tiger xx

 

[Deleted member 17925]

We were all newbies once, I remember my first time in a swingers club! I was like a rabbit caught in the headlights!

Tiger xx

In fairness, I think I will be to ...... I'm prity open minded but have never been in such an environment !! ?‍

 

[Panda and shark]

I (Mr) found it depends upon the couple, some experienced couples are nice some can almost seem predatory to nervous newbies. Most are the former. Looking back we got on better with other new people as our similar worries, desires and experience gave us common ground.

Predatory may seem strong and probably is, pushy probably more appropriate, afterwards I presumed they wanted to know if as nervous newbies we was going to waste their time, Its about perception but I found it uncomfortable, certainly not relaxed. Mrs did not pick up the vibe I did, but said she still felt rushed. I’m not going to play if not relaxed, certainly not going to ask anyone else to. Couple seemed disappointed but not irritated when we said we weren’t ready so I’m thinking I read too much into it.

In reflection, If your not going to help the newbie relax then you are probably wasting both your times. To answer the original question, yes it possible to put newbies off but most experienced people have opened up to us to help bring us into the lifestyle. Usually by nothing more than a honest friendly chat. We haven’t found any judgement, when we wanted only a soft swap that was accepted etc and we are now more relaxed in club atmosphere thanks to the great people who helped us relax.

 

[kinkynpervy]

We were on another site previously as nervous newbies and wanted to dip our toe in the water quietly, so only wanted soft swing (with couples), no takers at all surprisingly. At the time it was disappointing and could have turned us off swinging altogether. However we bit the bullet and went full swap and all was ok. That may not be the case for any newbies joining here. So we would like to say anybody wishing to start slowly with a soft swap we would be happy to help (providing we all get on of course and after covid lol).