Ownership/possessiveness

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Lips_Pearls

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
This can be a real issue for swingers. I mean we've seen some very nasty and rather peculiar behaviour from people over the years.
Why?
Well, once people have met others, one or the other sometimes assume they then have 'ownership' of those people. As if the other person is now their property and theirs only.
This can have devastating effects on the course of their involvement in swinging, as the one who feels they 'own' the other, says and does whatever they can, to cause issues. Or to make life that much more unsettling.

I am more than sure you are all aware of what I mean.
Sadly, this behaviour becomes a revolving door type issue, from obsessiveness to spinning.
Ever come across this yourself? x
 
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D

Deleted member 13437

Lips_Pearls said:
This can be a real issue for swingers. I mean we've seen some very nasty and rather peculiar behaviour from people over the years.
Why?
Well, once people have met others, one or the other sometimes assume they then have 'ownership' of those people. As if the other person is now their property and theirs only.
This can have devastating effects on the course of their involvement in swinging, as the one who feels they 'own' the other, says and does whatever they can, to cause issues. Or to make life that much more unsettling.

I am more than sure you are all aware of what I mean.
Sadly, this behaviour becomes a revolving door type issue, from obsessiveness to spinning.
Ever come across this yourself? x
Click to expand...
Have heard a couple of incidences like that on here from people.
 
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Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane

Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane

12 January 2016
397
3,271
City
Cambridge
We've come across this a few times; early on we had to put a couple of people in their places (and not all singles) but since then we've got pretty adept at spotting, and thus avoiding, the type.
We know people who've suffered a lot more though. Just a couple of weeks ago I had to face down a chap in a jealous rage over one of my occasional fbs; who'd come to the club to see me, and really didn't want to see him....ever again!
Personally I don't get it, especially within the swinging environment, but I guess there's no accounting for folk.
 
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Lips_Pearls

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
superking1981 said:
Have heard a couple of incidences like that on here from people.
Click to expand...
It can be a worrying thing to deal with my friend. That's certain.. Interesting post.

Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane said:
We've come across this a few times; early on we had to put a couple of people in their places (and not all singles) but since then we've got pretty adept at spotting, and thus avoiding, the type.
We know people who've suffered a lot more though. Just a couple of weeks ago I had to face down a chap in a jealous rage over one of my occasional fbs; who'd come to the club to see me, and really didn't want to see him....ever again!
Personally I don't get it, especially within the swinging environment, but I guess there's no accounting for folk.
Click to expand...
Oh wow that's worrying in itself! Did it go okay?
Yes you are right, it's quite prominent. We tend to try and talk about mostly the positives don't we, so discussions like this rarely come up... but they have to be talked about too.
That is a worrying situation though. Can get violent too!
We know of a couple (and it exploded on here too) who were led into an entrapment scenario! It was frightening for them and genuinely rocked them to the core. Some of you may remember it too.
 
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Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane

Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane

12 January 2016
397
3,271
City
Cambridge
Lips_Pearls said:
Oh wow that's worrying in itself! Did it go okay?...
.
Click to expand...

Nearly came to blows as it happens, but I managed to walk the knife-edge and calm him down without backing down, or leaving him in any doubt about his own position. Still watching my back when he's around but I refuse to give in to the troglodytes, either on my behalf or anyone else's. I always had a bit of a Sir Gawain-ish streak ;)
 
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Lips_Pearls

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane said:
Nearly came to blows as it happens, but I managed to walk the knife-edge and calm him down without backing down, or leaving him in any doubt about his own position. Still watching my back when he's around but I refuse to give in to the troglodytes, either on my behalf or anyone else's. I always had a bit of a Sir Gawain-ish streak ;)
Click to expand...
Yes well that in itself can be daunting. I don't understand how/why some people get so obsessive and possessive with and over other people, after meeting them. It's weird.. It's weird how people feel they own you because you've had an engagement with them. No and don't back down either. I can imagine you have got that streak actually. :D
 
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Stew

Stew

26 October 2018
3,745
8,083
70
In my head, naive little soul that I am possessive behaviour has no place in modern swinging, how can you expect to meet someone on a swinging site and then expect to possess them, and of course the spectre of the dreaded “L” word can also rear it’s ugly head and that’s where couples can start to flounder, break up or leave the scene !

Ownership is something else entirely, and lives over there >>>>>>>>> in the BDSM section and again can and will add its own nuances to the swinging experience! Any combination is possible but let’s say that whatever happens ownership lies with one Dom/Domme generally !
 
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Ahabs

Ahabs

14 February 2017
859
3,221
City
London
You have no idea how often I come across this (ie, receiving end), and it does cause alot of stress (for me as a guy, its not needed: if I want stress, I can do that with whatever dumbass-salesperson-of-the-day-wont-follow-protocol at work). Its not needed in a lifestyle that should be about "fun": When one person starts trying to "own" (ie, "control") another human being, there's nothing "fun" in that. I have images of a sad human being who sees their prospective playmate as nothing but a pet in a cage for their personal entertainment, but no one else can partake.

Sorry,... I'm overflowing with frustration at some of the episodes I've been through over the years. Long and short of it, I think some of the people like the above I've encountered entered the swing scene when what they really wanted was a monogamous life partner, and couldn't hack it when the person they've played with had designs to play with others.
 
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Lips_Pearls

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
Lips_Pearls said:
This can be a real issue for swingers. I mean we've seen some very nasty and rather peculiar behaviour from people over the years.
Why?
Well, once people have met others, one or the other sometimes assume they then have 'ownership' of those people. As if the other person is now their property and theirs only.
This can have devastating effects on the course of their involvement in swinging, as the one who feels they 'own' the other, says and does whatever they can, to cause issues. Or to make life that much more unsettling.

I am more than sure you are all aware of what I mean.
Sadly, this behaviour becomes a revolving door type issue, from obsessiveness to spinning.
Ever come across this yourself? x
Click to expand...
I think there’s a lot of possessiveness still prevalent in the lifestyle.
 
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Lips_Pearls

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
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D

Deleted member 16044

Lips_Pearls said:
Absolutely. Perfect word there to sum it up! X



completely. No one (unless in a marriage/partnership) has a call over anyone.
Click to expand...
with my body I own you ...that part of wedding vows does not sit good with me and I never said it and never will it written out of any of my marriages all 150 of them lol
 
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