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NotSoFireproof

NotSoFireproof

13 August 2015
675
2,980
City
Liverpool
I have a question:

If play has started but one person wants it to stop, suddenly, what would be a polite way of doing so, without causing offence to excitable individuals who have a hard time dealing with 'no'?

Just one of the many questions floating about in this head of mine!
 
Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,136
95,618
LadyLily said:
I have a question:

If play has started but one person wants it to stop, suddenly, what would be a polite way of doing so, without causing offence to excitable individuals who have a hard time dealing with 'no'?

Just one of the many questions floating about in this head of mine!
Click to expand...
As much as I personally know what @Pearls means, I also know how textually this reads.. So I disagree. (Sorry princess xx)
In a situation that you've presented, to avoid upset or hurt a simple;

"I'm so sorry but I can't do this. It's not for me"
is enough. That is sufficient.
It the person(s) then try to pursue it, then you say "NO!" sternly.
x
 
NotSoFireproof

NotSoFireproof

13 August 2015
675
2,980
City
Liverpool
I also knew what Pearls meant, but thank you for further clarification Admin. :)

You're so sweet together you two!!!
 
Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,136
95,618
LadyLily said:
I also knew what Pearls meant, but thank you for further clarification Admin. :)

You're so sweet together you two!!!
Click to expand...
Okay now you got me all shy... Again. x
Okay glad you know what we both mean, others with more experience will probably have better advice, but that's how we/I see it.
Polite stop, then strong stop.
 
M

meet_the_fockers

Admin said:
As much as I personally know what @Pearls means, I also know how textually this reads.. So I disagree. (Sorry princess xx)
In a situation that you've presented, to avoid upset or hurt a simple;

"I'm so sorry but I can't do this. It's not for me"
is enough. That is sufficient.
It the person(s) then try to pursue it, then you say "NO!" sternly.
x
Click to expand...
This exactly this..
 
M

meet_the_fockers

Theres always...
"Swing that cock near me and it'll be repositioned on your forehead" :D
in a sweet manner of course :D
 
M

meet_the_fockers

LadyLily said:
I'm capable of being harsh and ruthless, the trick is to knowing when it's appropriate, I've found. My sister knows what I'm like but she's not helpful- she thinks my bitchiness is hilarious!
Click to expand...
Im a pussycat really.. unfortunately too honest.. :rofl:
Im telling yer theres a few contracts on me! Has to be.
 
Fetishswingers

Fetishswingers

VIP Member
6 October 2015
617
1,451
LadyLily said:
I have a question:

If play has started but one person wants it to stop, suddenly, what would be a polite way of doing so, without causing offence to excitable individuals who have a hard time dealing with 'no'?

Just one of the many questions floating about in this head of mine!
Click to expand...

In All Play with us/meets At the very begining if, Couples Singles M/F we meet we chat get the limits boundaries ask the questions direct many think it being pushy, and state if Red called no questions explanations please STOP Immediately. we operate this system even in soft swap newbies progressive swingers Oh yeh and of course our shy Fetish play too lol xx We even use amber to express bloody good (Give me more) but give me 20 secs to catch me breath a lot of humour no seriousness makes all the difference xx
 
NotSoFireproof

NotSoFireproof

13 August 2015
675
2,980
City
Liverpool
Fetishswingers said:
In All Play with us/meets At the very begining if, Couples Singles M/F we meet we chat get the limits boundaries ask the questions direct many think it being pushy, and state if Red called no questions explanations please STOP Immediately. we operate this system even in soft swap newbies progressive swingers Oh yeh and of course our shy Fetish play too lol xx We even use amber to express bloody good (Give me more) but give me 20 secs to catch me breath a lot of humour no seriousness makes all the difference xx
Click to expand...

This is what I like to hear about. I have been taking a similar stance, asking direct questions and telling people I meet in person if I'm not interested, because I'd rather not lead them on. I'd rather establish all the rules and boundaries first, then have fun that I know I'll enjoy, knowing I can trust the person to respect my limits. The fet scene has taught me so much.
 
Fetishswingers

Fetishswingers

VIP Member
6 October 2015
617
1,451
Being involved in club in London past and my training my advice dealing with aggressiveness disagreements bla bla we taught ALl and advised the rule of RED in all swinging playing flirting etc then if I was called in the first thing I look for is consent again I advise all do not rely on a wink wave of a hand etc if you think you see feel this u ask you would like me to join in may join in as if I come alomng as said I go through me basic check list to confirm consent then if Red was stated in open multi play you look ask others what they saw heard etc. Me Pc Plod lol Ms Marples they call me Consistent same policy rules advice when people shown round no different to a home visit
 
Fetishswingers

Fetishswingers

VIP Member
6 October 2015
617
1,451
LadyLily said:
This is what I like to hear about. I have been taking a similar stance, asking direct questions and telling people I meet in person if I'm not interested, because I'd rather not lead them on. I'd rather establish all the rules and boundaries first, then have fun that I know I'll enjoy, knowing I can trust the person to respect my limits. The fet scene has taught me so much.
Click to expand...
Fetish bdsm scene of course people discuss and yes a safe word used to especially if you are unfamiliar maybe with someone your giving a experience the first time I explain this always when I have them queuing up to go on the cross lol
 
Fetishswingers

Fetishswingers

VIP Member
6 October 2015
617
1,451
LadyLily said:
This is what I like to hear about. I have been taking a similar stance, asking direct questions and telling people I meet in person if I'm not interested, because I'd rather not lead them on. I'd rather establish all the rules and boundaries first, then have fun that I know I'll enjoy, knowing I can trust the person to respect my limits. The fet scene has taught me so much.
Click to expand...
Mm leading on I feel you no one should feel leading on REd means stop or same as NO MEANS NO hun x
 
M

meet_the_fockers

Pearls said:
Any time hun, if you feel something isn't right then stop it xxx
Click to expand...
Ok it doesnt matter how far it goes/has gone, either party has the asolute RIGHT to say NO. Never feel the need to question your judgement descision and feelings that you do NOT want it to continue.. never feel pressurised to continue something that you feel you should.. because another person is all hot and heavy in the moment.. they may strop and pout but so be it... x
 
NotSoFireproof

NotSoFireproof

13 August 2015
675
2,980
City
Liverpool
Thank you everyone. You've confirmed some things I've thought about but that others have previously questioned, so it's good to know I'm correct in not tiptoeing if I want something to stop. :)
 
Pearls

MOTM

Pearls

18 July 2015
55,094
120,662
meet_the_fockers said:
Ok it doesnt matter how far it goes/has gone, either party has the asolute RIGHT to say NO. Never feel the need to question your judgement descision and feelings that you do NOT want it to continue.. never feel pressurised to continue something that you feel you should.. because another person is all hot and heavy in the moment.. they may strop and pout but so be it... x
Click to expand...
Good points :love:xx
 
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