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Discussion in 'BDSM & Fetish Forums' started by Phoenixcouplexx, 6 February 2017.

  1. So... Whenever life allows we live a D/s lifestyle. We are both on Fetlife but 'D' struggles with the site on there and it's not really conducive to making new friends because of the technicalities of the way it works on there.
    We've been to a few munches and socials and such but a lot of submissives seem to naturally choose a more backseat at the munches we've been to. However 'D' has often said she'd like other submissives to run thoughts and feelings past, to gossip with about feelings and other stuff. I think it is more of 'there are others that have similar feelings to me, I'm not alone'.
    We do communicate all the time as expected and my ear is always available for her should she feel the need, but I think it would be cool if she had another opinion from somewhere else, someone built in a single I large fashion maybe. Also somewhere for newly discovered submissives to ask questions and seek guidance and make some more experienced submissive friends I think would be cool. Anybody have anywhere else they like to use for this kind of stuff?
    Lace, Therapon, Admin and 1 other person like this.
  2. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    @Lace could be a good person to bend a ear or two. ;)
    Lace, Therapon and Admin like this.
  3. Admin

    Admin Admin

    One thing that made me think about this last night; do you think we do enough here for the BDSM lifestyle/community?
    Could we do more? :)
    Therapon and Pearls like this.
  4. Lace dear lord.. *hides* :D xx
    Therapon likes this.
  5. There is a good BDSM section here... its up to people to use it.. but i hear ya!! Perhaps our little @Lace would be happy to add to it? Just a thought.. xx
    Lace and Therapon like this.
  6. Admin

    Admin Admin

    There is, and it's after all, content based and driven, but I am sure I could expand on some things further. :) x
    Therapon and Pearls like this.
  7. Good question. I definitely think there is a gap that needs bridging at the moment. I know there are a lot of people that don't use Fet because of the way it works.
    But also on other swinging sites it seems that a lot of people don't seem as excepting of fet orientated chat as perhaps they should be considering their own activities.
    I think having the section here alone is a very good start. Keeping the information factual and balanced I think is important rather than some presenting an opinion as fact. I feel maybe that could be miss leading for some.
    I think the biggest thing is the section being used, which of course you can't force. What else the site can do I'm not sure. It is definitely a step in the right direction ;)
    Pearls likes this.
  8. One thing that I do think would be good, that I've been thinking about adding is a sensible way for a new submissive to approach a Dominant or how to recieve an approach from a Dominant. Red flags etc. A lot seem to think they are duty bound to be the submissive from the off and in doing so don't take precautions to ensure their own safety as much as they maybe should or could.
    I know the whole argument of the fact they are adult etc but I still don't think another's opinion or a more experienced guide woukd hurt and if it helps even one person it's worth it.
    Pearls likes this.
  9. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Indeed, I've long been an advocate of BDSM lifestyle meeting swinging, because I firmly believe that the two spectrum's can and do meet, albeit the milder end of both.
    The more extreme ends of either spectrum is of course not going to really work.
    That said, as we're both BDSM inclined too, (way way way before FSOG etc :rolleyes: ) it felt almost as important to show that we can be diverse on the site and have both areas covered.

    I made sure our FAQ had some BDSM and Fet included;
    BDSM | Social Swinging-A FREE Swinging Site for Swingers
    Although I know it needs expanding on hugely.

    I did hope that more and more people would use these areas, and thankfully they/you are. Which I am really pleased with as it's definitely allowed others to question, open up and/or even discuss such matters.
    There's a kink in all of us, but some aren't sure with themselves where they sit etc. This gives an opportunity for people to discuss it and open up, perhaps.

    Sadly I have seen Fet go down the same road as another well known swinging site - where it's a free for all. I do blame dating apps for a lot of this damage. This is again why we work so hard at keeping this site as managed as best we can.
    Feel free to add to the FAQ mind, I'll gladly give you access to write if you want to?
    I know we're slightly derailing your topic, but I also see this as an opportunity to explore things here too. :)
  10. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Yes I agree. Seen far too many subs get damaged and taken advantage of. Indeed, I too agree this could be something to think about.
    Pearls likes this.
  11. See im damaged lol... i wasnt of course until swinging by here omm...

    Good luck.. xxx
    Pearls likes this.
  12. Admin

    Admin Admin

    yeah right. :D x :whistle:
    Pearls likes this.
  13. Coming to terms with your sub still then? Lol
  14. Oh gawd everyone at it this evening.. everyones gone mad!! :rofl:
    Sub.. sub? Bloody sub? Oh it has been tried lol.. xx erm..
    Pearls likes this.
  15. I'll give it some thought and try and get something together and send it to you to give your opinion on. Not sure how much time I'll get as I have a ton on at the moment but we can but try ;)
    Admin likes this.

  16. It's ok loads go through that denial stage ;) lol
  17. :rofl:
    Admin likes this.
  18. Admin

    Admin Admin

    That's excellent and thank you.. only if you think it is viable. :) (y)
  19. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Thank you Stew. Not only do I agree with your points raised, I appreciate the very kind and warm feedback. Thank you.

    I'll get thinking on some things.
    Pearls likes this.
  20. Jenny79

    Jenny79 PV

    I'd love a chat room for submisives where we can chat about our experience and also a room where doms can go to look for subs would be good and go from there?
    Therapon, Pearls and Admin like this.
  21. I got lucky I met my first Dom 2 years agonon another site and it has been an amazing journey - but I have heard some real horror stories
    Pearls likes this.
  22. I'm always up for chatting to fellow subs of whatever gender.

    And yeah, it's nice to find a site where you can at least potentially find some BDSM playmates that has good community standards. I've found fetlife to be ok to be honest, good for chatting to people with similar interests even if it's not really a dating or hook up site. But others, like collarspace, are just a hornets nest of scammers and con artists.
    Meandlis likes this.
  23. Lace

    Lace PV

    Did someone call (y)
    Admin likes this.
  24. Lace

    Lace PV

    Was it you. X
    Therapon likes this.
  25. Lace

    Lace PV

    I can't remember what I was called for now. :confused:
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