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Swinging Etiquette

By Pearls · 18 April 2017 · Updated 9 February 2018 ·
  1. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    Old fashioned I guess, keys in the bowl, pampas grass in the garden or a simple box of Omo in the window..
    How have we evolved from this?
    @cinnamon_giggles mentioned in a thread, How did we manage without internet?
    Do we still have the respect to ask permission off our partners to message another half of a partner?
    We do and it's often yes :whistle:
    Not that I have in a while may I say :whistle:
    So do you guys know about what is etiquette in the swinging scene?;)
  2. I didn't know about the permission on messaging thing. However if I knew that person had a partner I wouldn't take it to any level without their knowledge. Now that I know I'd better get asking for permission. Trouble is half the site seem to be couples with swingle profiles so sometimes it's difficult to know unless it states so in their profile.
    No longer with us likes this.
  3. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    You are right of course with the swingle profile thingy, I guess it's just a lot of it about (y)
    Baldrick likes this.
  4. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Agreed... a LOT if it about.. Confusing.
    some do state it, initially it was frowned upon, but it had to be accepted as "norm"...... :unsure:
    Baldrick likes this.
  5. Steed99

    Steed99 Oldest Swinger In Town PV Sprtr

    I think, just as with face to face meets, common sense and respect must be foremost when communicating with anyone.
    Marcus and No longer with us like this.
  6. I find this idea useful. I get a lot of contact from guys who have partners on twitter. Half of them don't realise I'm a CD which is fun too toy with momentarily but some are just trying and trying to connect with another female outside of their relationship. So they choose me as a possible easy target. One guy even had a pic of his wedding day as his profile and came clean after I said it would be great to meet them both.

    On another site, a guy advertised himself and his "ex girlfriend" as a couple close by who wanted to meet me. We exchanged phone numbers, arranged a date and then half hour before the meeting was set he came clean and said she had left him a month ago. He'd even sent me pics of both of them doing sexy things.

    If I'm not sure now, I ask for verification on sites and ask them about sexual health checks. I fell foul of that once before. Now it's like going to the dentists.
  7. On here as a couple G doesn't have any issues with me messaging and vice versa because it's a joint profile we both see them. Hopefully we come across as polite and so far everyone who has messaged us has been the same
  8. Thank you Hun and you too xxxxx
    Baldrick and Pearls like this.
  9. Therapon

    Therapon Admin PV Sprtr

    Not quite as simple for us, we do have a couples profile as well as individual profiles but we clearly cross refer on each profile so that people know.
    As moderators we obviously chat to a lot of people, its part of the job but we do separate our work apart from our personal lives, we have to.
    On a personal level we have an agreement that we can both chat to other members here but that is our limit, anything beyond that is a joint decision.
  10. We have agreed between us that on the websites we communicate as we wish but neither of us delete msgs so the other is free to read as they are available. However personal msging with phones etc we are very careful with. We much prefer to use a msging service where all parties involved can be in a group. That way nothing is hidden intentionally or unintentionally.
    On the odd occasion there is a need to text individually we keep everything and it's all open. That way trust is never questioned.
  11. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Not to my knowledge in honesty, but if @MickeyBlueBalls does know of more, then that would be interesting to know.
  12. In relation to profiles - my point would be do people update profiles regularly ,

    while talking to a couple of individuals it would appear what is labelled on the tin is not necessarily the what's inside

    Yes peoples needs wants etc might change but surely so should the profile ?
    Pearls likes this.
  13. Our main text doesn't change much to be honest but if our boundaries or desires change then we change the profile. Occasionally I'll have a little fettle and change it around but in the main it stays the same. We do make sure we have more current pictures on there though. As we like to see that on others profiles.
    Having said all that we don't use our online presence as our main source of meeting. We only use it to stay I touch with people we have met generally. Though this site seems to be changing that a bit lately lol

  14. Baldrick

    Baldrick PV Sprtr

    Hmmm honestly no I don't ask permission from Kaz before I message anybody else, however we have a couples profile and nothing is hidden from each other. We each may login anytime we wish.
    All contact so far with other members has been done through the site and this is the way we prefer. We see no need to be giving out our personal numbers.

    I am the most active on the site but we still come as a package. Neither of us would be arranging meets without the other being involved.

    B x
  15. Pearls

    Pearls #PearlsTechSupport

    This is why we have the messaging facilities we have and you are protected with a report button (y)
    debE likes this.
  16. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Agreed. I would not suggest anyone on here exchanging numbers with anyone else - even IF PV'd... unless you have already met them or are planning on doing so in the imminent future.
    We have excellent PM systems and chat systems in place which you can use from your phone, even for cam/video or voice calls: without the need to exchange your numbers. We did this to ensure safety (reporting facilities) and anonymity of all members.
    Arb and debE like this.
  17. Antogs

    Antogs PV Sprtr

    I must say that whenever I'm communicating with a couples profile I just assume both parties will see everything. I mean, surely a huge part of the swinging ethos is openness and honesty.

    One thing I would find very useful, although I've no idea if it's technically possible, would be if there was some sort of indicator on the user icon showing which of the couple was posting at the time.
    It gets a bit embarrassing and confusing when I ask what I thought was the lady part of the couple what underwear they're wearing only to be told "a pair of white y-fronts" :rofl::rofl::rofl:
    Therapon likes this.
  18. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Usually what you will find is one will reply (or either) with a signal such as L or M, signalling who they are. Sadly from a technical POV, this can't be achieved as both could have access to the account at any given time.
    So the customary thing seems to be signing off as Mr, Mrs or say in the case of (example) @Looby&Lew - Looby or Lew, or @Nigel&Julie - Nigel, Julie. Etc.
    debE and Therapon like this.
  19. Baldrick

    Baldrick PV Sprtr

    I think we asked this very question when we first joined the site. We decided to sign every post with our initials (we don't bother signing when talking to people we have come to know well as they seem to know which of us they are talking to). :)

    B x
    debE, Antogs and Therapon like this.
  20. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Yeah our info states it for us really that it's me Mr, behind our account and unless @Pearls jumps on this account now and again to post, it will always be me.
    Again I think some etiquette is amiss and overall, I think apps like Tinder, Grindr et al to a degree have damaged the swinging scene and the expected etiquette along with it.
    I often hear about swingles mentioning "too many couples involved.." well.. errm yeah.. :D
    That alone I feel can be attributed to dating apps.
    Therapon, Pearls and debE like this.
  21. I agree, although I know I am guilty of having profile info that has not been updated since joining. Thank you for the nudge. I’ll get on it as soon as possible x
  22. Well on this site you can be sure its always Steve your speaking to but having said that my Mrs reads everything and has a say in any PV messages I send as they tend to be more do you fancy meeting type stuff. I know some of you know this to be the exact opposite on another site as its always my Mrs and I take the back seat so to speak.
    Pearls likes this.
  23. Sorry forgot to say nobody ever gets private contact details until a meeting is arranged and that's only so last moment changes don't go a drift
  24. Vanezza

    Vanezza PV Sprtr

    We are guilty of that :spank:
    In our defense it's not easy to come up with profile text and let's face it only regulars will read it anyway :D

    N xxx
    Pearls likes this.
  25. I'm as guilty actbd next person
    Vanezza and Pearls like this.
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