Swinging Etiquette

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Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,089
120,746
Old fashioned I guess, keys in the bowl, pampas grass in the garden or a simple box of Omo in the window..
How have we evolved from this?
@cinnamon_giggles mentioned in a thread, How did we manage without internet?
Do we still have the respect to ask permission off our partners to message another half of a partner?
We do and it's often yes :whistle:
Not that I have in a while may I say :whistle:
So do you guys know about what is etiquette in the swinging scene?;)
 
M

MickeyBlueBalls

Old fashioned I guess, keys in the bowl, pampas grass in the garden or a simple box of Omo in the window..
How have we evolved from this?
@cinnamon_giggles mentioned in a thread, How did we manage without internet?
Do we still have the respect to ask permission off our partners to message another half of a partner?
We do and it's often yes :whistle:
Not that I have in a while may I say :whistle:
So do you guys know about what is etiquette in the swinging scene?;)
I didn't know about the permission on messaging thing. However if I knew that person had a partner I wouldn't take it to any level without their knowledge. Now that I know I'd better get asking for permission. Trouble is half the site seem to be couples with swingle profiles so sometimes it's difficult to know unless it states so in their profile.
 
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Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,089
120,746
I didn't know about the permission on messaging thing. However if I knew that person had a partner I wouldn't take it to any level without their knowledge. Now that I know I'd better get asking for permission. Trouble is half the site seem to be couples with swingle profiles so sometimes it's difficult to know unless it states so in their profile.
You are right of course with the swingle profile thingy, I guess it's just a lot of it about (y)
 
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19 March 2015
23,755
64,897
I didn't know about the permission on messaging thing. However if I knew that person had a partner I wouldn't take it to any level without their knowledge. Now that I know I'd better get asking for permission. Trouble is half the site seem to be couples with swingle profiles so sometimes it's difficult to know unless it states so in their profile.
Agreed... a LOT if it about.. Confusing.
some do state it, initially it was frowned upon, but it had to be accepted as "norm"...... :unsure:
 
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D

Deleted member 4901

I find this idea useful. I get a lot of contact from guys who have partners on twitter. Half of them don't realise I'm a CD which is fun too toy with momentarily but some are just trying and trying to connect with another female outside of their relationship. So they choose me as a possible easy target. One guy even had a pic of his wedding day as his profile and came clean after I said it would be great to meet them both.

On another site, a guy advertised himself and his "ex girlfriend" as a couple close by who wanted to meet me. We exchanged phone numbers, arranged a date and then half hour before the meeting was set he came clean and said she had left him a month ago. He'd even sent me pics of both of them doing sexy things.

If I'm not sure now, I ask for verification on sites and ask them about sexual health checks. I fell foul of that once before. Now it's like going to the dentists.
 
D

Deleted member 3175

On here as a couple G doesn't have any issues with me messaging and vice versa because it's a joint profile we both see them. Hopefully we come across as polite and so far everyone who has messaged us has been the same
Xxx
 

Therapon

Admin
11 August 2015
24,400
47,314
Not quite as simple for us, we do have a couples profile as well as individual profiles but we clearly cross refer on each profile so that people know.
As moderators we obviously chat to a lot of people, its part of the job but we do separate our work apart from our personal lives, we have to.
On a personal level we have an agreement that we can both chat to other members here but that is our limit, anything beyond that is a joint decision.
 
28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
We have agreed between us that on the websites we communicate as we wish but neither of us delete msgs so the other is free to read as they are available. However personal msging with phones etc we are very careful with. We much prefer to use a msging service where all parties involved can be in a group. That way nothing is hidden intentionally or unintentionally.
On the odd occasion there is a need to text individually we keep everything and it's all open. That way trust is never questioned.
 
S

Sammy

In relation to profiles - my point would be do people update profiles regularly ,

while talking to a couple of individuals it would appear what is labelled on the tin is not necessarily the what's inside

Yes peoples needs wants etc might change but surely so should the profile ?
 
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28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
In relation to profiles - my point would be do people update profiles regularly ,

while talking to a couple of individuals it would appear what is labelled on the tin is not necessarily the what's inside

Yes peoples needs wants etc might change but surely so should the profile ?

Our main text doesn't change much to be honest but if our boundaries or desires change then we change the profile. Occasionally I'll have a little fettle and change it around but in the main it stays the same. We do make sure we have more current pictures on there though. As we like to see that on others profiles.
Having said all that we don't use our online presence as our main source of meeting. We only use it to stay I touch with people we have met generally. Though this site seems to be changing that a bit lately lol

Xx
 
5 July 2016
5,740
9,823
City
Ossett
Hmmm honestly no I don't ask permission from Kaz before I message anybody else, however we have a couples profile and nothing is hidden from each other. We each may login anytime we wish.
All contact so far with other members has been done through the site and this is the way we prefer. We see no need to be giving out our personal numbers.

I am the most active on the site but we still come as a package. Neither of us would be arranging meets without the other being involved.

B x
 

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,127
95,498
This is why we have the messaging facilities we have and you are protected with a report button (y)
Agreed. I would not suggest anyone on here exchanging numbers with anyone else - even IF PV'd... unless you have already met them or are planning on doing so in the imminent future.
We have excellent PM systems and chat systems in place which you can use from your phone, even for cam/video or voice calls: without the need to exchange your numbers. We did this to ensure safety (reporting facilities) and anonymity of all members.
 
9 September 2017
1,142
2,864
54
Interesting.
I must say that whenever I'm communicating with a couples profile I just assume both parties will see everything. I mean, surely a huge part of the swinging ethos is openness and honesty.

One thing I would find very useful, although I've no idea if it's technically possible, would be if there was some sort of indicator on the user icon showing which of the couple was posting at the time.
It gets a bit embarrassing and confusing when I ask what I thought was the lady part of the couple what underwear they're wearing only to be told "a pair of white y-fronts" :rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
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Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,127
95,498
One thing I would find very useful, although I've no idea if it's technically possible, would be if there was some sort of indicator on the user icon showing which of the couple was posting at the time.
Usually what you will find is one will reply (or either) with a signal such as L or M, signalling who they are. Sadly from a technical POV, this can't be achieved as both could have access to the account at any given time.
So the customary thing seems to be signing off as Mr, Mrs or say in the case of (example) @Looby&Lew - Looby or Lew, or @Nigel&Julie - Nigel, Julie. Etc.
 
5 July 2016
5,740
9,823
City
Ossett
Interesting.
I must say that whenever I'm communicating with a couples profile I just assume both parties will see everything. I mean, surely a huge part of the swinging ethos is openness and honesty.

One thing I would find very useful, although I've no idea if it's technically possible, would be if there was some sort of indicator on the user icon showing which of the couple was posting at the time.
It gets a bit embarrassing and confusing when I ask what I thought was the lady part of the couple what underwear they're wearing only to be told "a pair of white y-fronts" :rofl::rofl::rofl:

I think we asked this very question when we first joined the site. We decided to sign every post with our initials (we don't bother signing when talking to people we have come to know well as they seem to know which of us they are talking to). :)

B x
 
19 March 2015
23,755
64,897
Yeah our info states it for us really that it's me Mr, behind our account and unless @Pearls jumps on this account now and again to post, it will always be me.
Old fashioned I guess, keys in the bowl, pampas grass in the garden or a simple box of Omo in the window..
How have we evolved from this?
@cinnamon_giggles mentioned in a thread, How did we manage without internet?
Do we still have the respect to ask permission off our partners to message another half of a partner?
We do and it's often yes :whistle:
Not that I have in a while may I say :whistle:
So do you guys know about what is etiquette in the swinging scene?;)
Again I think some etiquette is amiss and overall, I think apps like Tinder, Grindr et al to a degree have damaged the swinging scene and the expected etiquette along with it.
I often hear about swingles mentioning "too many couples involved.." well.. errm yeah.. :D
That alone I feel can be attributed to dating apps.
 
23 January 2018
436
1,309
48
City
Hatfield
In relation to profiles - my point would be do people update profiles regularly ,

while talking to a couple of individuals it would appear what is labelled on the tin is not necessarily the what's inside

Yes peoples needs wants etc might change but surely so should the profile ?
I agree, although I know I am guilty of having profile info that has not been updated since joining. Thank you for the nudge. I’ll get on it as soon as possible x
 
26 July 2016
2,347
3,886
City
Bolton
Well on this site you can be sure its always Steve your speaking to but having said that my Mrs reads everything and has a say in any PV messages I send as they tend to be more do you fancy meeting type stuff. I know some of you know this to be the exact opposite on another site as its always my Mrs and I take the back seat so to speak.
 
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26 July 2016
2,347
3,886
City
Bolton
Sorry forgot to say nobody ever gets private contact details until a meeting is arranged and that's only so last moment changes don't go a drift
 

Vanezza

Stud Muffin
11 May 2017
11,326
37,264
50
In relation to profiles - my point would be do people update profiles regularly ,

while talking to a couple of individuals it would appear what is labelled on the tin is not necessarily the what's inside

Yes peoples needs wants etc might change but surely so should the profile ?
We are guilty of that :spank:
In our defense it's not easy to come up with profile text and let's face it only regulars will read it anyway :D

N xxx
 
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