Swinging Without Real Life Partners

  • Please check your spam/junk folder after registration, for your email. Thank you
Welcome to our Swinging Community
Join now to meet other like-minded swingers.
Sign up
Pilipala81

Pilipala81

26 April 2015
87
802
City
Haverfordwest
OK lovely people of Ss I need some insight/advice.
I have a partner who cannot perform sexually, we have tried lots of things to make it work before you ask!
My question is to those who swing with partners permission, but they don't get involved in any way.
How do you separate the lives? How much do you tell your partner. He knows I do, but no when, who where etc. We're going through a opening up about feelings, neither of us great at confronting issues, but we're trying. So I'm after advise from anyone in a similar situation

Thank you all Miss P
 
  • Like
Reactions: Therapon, Pearls, Deleted member 2610 and 1 other person
Lips_Pearls

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
Pilipala81 said:
Didn't really know where to put it X thank you x
Click to expand...
No problem, just don't want Joe Public seeing it...
As for the situation, phew.. you know our thoughts privately. Sadly aside from what we've discussed previously, we don't have any other advice we can offer apart from, communicate. Be open, and do what you feel is right for you and for you both.
A very delicate situation indeed. Hopefully others who are in this situation, can come forward and offer you some friendly and helpful advice. x
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 2610 and Pilipala81
Pilipala81

Pilipala81

26 April 2015
87
802
City
Haverfordwest
Lips_Pearls said:
No problem, just don't want Joe Public seeing it...
As for the situation, phew.. you know our thoughts privately. Sadly aside from what we've discussed previously, we don't have any other advice we can offer apart from, communicate. Be open, and do what you feel is right for you and for you both.
A very delicate situation indeed. Hopefully others who are in this situation, can come forward and offer you some friendly and helpful advice. x
Click to expand...
If people don't want to reply on the thread I am mire than happy for them to message me instead. I really could do with advice from others in similar situations x
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 2610 and Lips_Pearls
Lips_Pearls

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,856
It's your account privacy Miss P. Just checked. Once you follow certain people, they can then engage with you.
Considering the nature and seriousness of this issue, it may be worthwhile adjusting this, or following people who come forward with advice. Just trying to help x
 
  • Like
Reactions: Pilipala81
M

meet_the_fockers

Pilipala81 said:
OK lovely people of Ss I need some insight/advice.
I have a partner who cannot perform sexually, we have tried lots of things to make it work before you ask!
My question is to those who swing with partners permission, but they don't get involved in any way.
How do you separate the lives? How much do you tell your partner. He knows I do, but no when, who where etc. We're going through a opening up about feelings, neither of us great at confronting issues, but we're trying. So I'm after advise from anyone in a similar situation

Thank you all Miss P
Click to expand...
Openess, honesty.. COMMUNICATION!! you loose that and the relationship is dead in the water.
You are the one playing not him...
Ask him, what hes happy with how far he wants you to go, satisfy yourself.. you should not be asking us... you should be asking him.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Pearls and Deleted member 1030
Pilipala81

Pilipala81

26 April 2015
87
802
City
Haverfordwest
meet_the_fockers said:
Openess, honesty.. COMMUNICATION!! you loose that and the relationship is dead in the water.
You are the one playing not him...
Ask him, what hes happy with how far he wants you to go, satisfy yourself.. you should not be asking us... you should be asking him.
Click to expand...
We are going through it all at the moment, I just feel the need to try and speak to others who have been there and come through it. I guess it's a case of knowing I'm not the only one in this position.
 
M

meet_the_fockers

Pilipala81 said:
We are going through it all at the moment, I just feel the need to try and speak to others who have been there and come through it. I guess it's a case of knowing I'm not the only one in this position.
Click to expand...
No your not thats a certainty, but... i know lots in your predicament.. have even had a polite cup of tea with a husband and wife.. before taking the wife to bed.. he met me.. he was totally agreeable, it didnt make me feel any less guilty.. whilst he was sitting.. at home.. watching question of sport.
She had needs... for me... if my other half could no longer "perform" i guess i cant really say.. im not in that situation.. but i love him.. i would... now this is just my perspective!!
Find other ways for pleasure.. without the need for penetration.
Fingers mouths tongues... feathers ropes ribbons.. and if i felt the need for penetration..toys fingers and a warm tongue ;)
 
Pilipala81

Pilipala81

26 April 2015
87
802
City
Haverfordwest
meet_the_fockers said:
No your not thats a certainty, but... i know lots in your predicament.. have even had a polite cup of tea with a husband and wife.. before taking the wife to bed.. he met me.. he was totally agreeable, it didnt make me feel any less guilty.. whilst he was sitting.. at home.. watching question of sport.
She had needs... for me... if my other half could no longer "perform" i guess i cant really say.. im not in that situation.. but i love him.. i would... now this is just my perspective!!
Find other ways for pleasure.. without the need for penetration.
Fingers mouths tongues... feathers ropes ribbons.. and if i felt the need for penetration..toys fingers and a warm tongue ;)
Click to expand...
We tried that, but it then becomes an issue for him as he feels not good enough. As sexually wow he can satisfy me! Going to look into counseling to see if it can help as well x
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 2610
Pearls

MOTM

Pearls

18 July 2015
55,094
120,662
meet_the_fockers said:
No your not thats a certainty, but... i know lots in your predicament.. have even had a polite cup of tea with a husband and wife.. before taking the wife to bed.. he met me.. he was totally agreeable, it didnt make me feel any less guilty.. whilst he was sitting.. at home.. watching question of sport.
She had needs... for me... if my other half could no longer "perform" i guess i cant really say.. im not in that situation.. but i love him.. i would... now this is just my perspective!!
Find other ways for pleasure.. without the need for penetration.
Fingers mouths tongues... feathers ropes ribbons.. and if i felt the need for penetration..toys fingers and a warm tongue ;)
Click to expand...
Have to agree here, pleasure comes in so many ways xx
 
BoltonBiFemCpl

BoltonBiFemCpl

26 July 2016
2,347
3,886
City
Bolton
OK I don't know what his problem is but if its just a loss of sex drive then maybe his battery is just flat and he needs a jump start to get him going again then you talking about having sex with someone else could do it or even go as far as letting him watch you have sex might just do the trick. Talk to him and see what he says
 
Cheeky_Demon

Cheeky_Demon

11 September 2016
810
1,546
City
Corby
Pilipala81 said:
OK lovely people of Ss I need some insight/advice.
I have a partner who cannot perform sexually, we have tried lots of things to make it work before you ask!
My question is to those who swing with partners permission, but they don't get involved in any way.
How do you separate the lives? How much do you tell your partner. He knows I do, but no when, who where etc. We're going through a opening up about feelings, neither of us great at confronting issues, but we're trying. So I'm after advise from anyone in a similar situation

Thank you all Miss P
Click to expand...

We're in a similar situation to you. My good lady, for health reason, can no longer participate in our joint adventures. We have learnt that if we keep both swinging & vanilla lives separate it is a very manageable situation. She does not want to know who, where, when etc. but is happy for me to carry on as I did before we met.

When we had a couples profile (on a different site I hasten to add!) the interaction with the majority of single men put her off quickly. But being bi-sexual she was happy to find the odd lady to meet and we'd go to clubs on couples only nights.

Now things are different. We have active social lives, both together and with separate groups of friends, so it's easy to go out for the night and come home later and still keep all things discreet. We have tried talking, arranging various things, stopping entirely but as a couple we both came to the conclusion that the best situation was to do whatever we needed discreetly, safely and still be respectful of our life together as a couple/family the day after (so no rolling in at 4am and waking the dog & entire house!)

I think you're going about it the right way but there are no rules for this. No guidance other than a few of us chipping in & your own gut feeling. So long as you're honest with each other, stay committed & loving and remember you're actually in this together.. ALWAYS.. regardless of where you are then you should be OK.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Therapon, Pilipala81, Pearls and 1 other person
P

peakcouple

We've discussed what would happen if one of us had to give up swinging - or sex - for health reasons. Neither of us would expect the other one to be celibate, as it's a pretty important feature of life. We'd both be OK about the other having casual sex or FBs and it wouldn't affect our love. Rose's ex husband allowed her to have other men as long as it wasn't at home and we'd operate a similar system. We already have an arrangement that if either of us wants to play alone then that's OK as long as we either discuss it first or talk about it as soon as possible after, for example if one of us was away from home when it happened. That's only happened a couple of times in 12 years.

One of our very good friends plays now alone with his wife's approval. We've holidayed with them both a couple of times. She's now very unwell and can't have sex, but approves of him still swinging. But he's finding it much harder now he's a single.
 
  • Like
Reactions: No longer with us and Pearls
T

The_Bibas

Openness is the only way.
Stephen is or rather was overprotective when men looked at me on nights out and I was scared to look at them.
Talking about it no matter how uncomfortable will end up in a solution even if it is divorce..
Two years ago we started twitter and posted some pictures that he took..
25.000 followers later
4 stalkers and 12 suspended accounts further on we have found a balance.
Now we are very open and able to hunt as a pair.
Truthfully without the talk we would probably have split up
Bibaadvice
Xx
 
  • Like
Reactions: Pilipala81 and Deleted member 2610
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom