Too Early/late

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14 February 2017
859
3,224
City
London
So, you're at a party, doors opened at 8pm. Core of guests arrived around 9. There's much mingling and socialising, which you take part in. You're making a good impression and building rapport with a few. There are playrooms at the venue, currently unoccupied. The hope is you're fortunate to spend some time in said playroom with company you've connected with at some point.

It is now 1am (venue shuts at 3) playrooms still unoccupied (good, so not long to wait) and the atmosphere is great with lots of chemistry and smiling faces. You take your chance to proposition one if the contacts you've made. The reply you get: "What's the rush? Why can't you just enjoy the social side?". You take that as a cue to back off.

At about 2-2:30am, most suddenly realise the time, and potential missed opportunity not taken, so there's a mad dash for the play rooms. Some are fortunate to find a space, others not so lucky as have to wait, but doesn't come to fruition by the time the venue closes.

So, Ladies, Gents, Couples:
For those that are interested in playing in venues as the opportunity arises, as in the scenario above, if it were up to you, at what point over the course if the evening is a decent time you'd like to play (assuming there's folk you do want to play with). Is 9pm too early? Is 2am too late?
 
D

Deleted member 6485

Never been in the scenario of having a time limit, so can't really comment on that one.
In a more personal setting, its been past 5am for me when the heats gotten notched up.. as time truly does run away with you sometimes during the 'social' period. X
 
19 March 2015
23,755
64,897
So, you're at a party, doors opened at 8pm. Core of guests arrived around 9. There's much mingling and socialising, which you take part in. You're making a good impression and building rapport with a few. There are playrooms at the venue, currently unoccupied. The hope is you're fortunate to spend some time in said playroom with company you've connected with at some point.

It is now 1am (venue shuts at 3) playrooms still unoccupied (good, so not long to wait) and the atmosphere is great with lots of chemistry and smiling faces. You take your chance to proposition one if the contacts you've made. The reply you get: "What's the rush? Why can't you just enjoy the social side?". You take that as a cue to back off.

At about 2-2:30am, most suddenly realise the time, and potential missed opportunity not taken, so there's a mad dash for the play rooms. Some are fortunate to find a space, others not so lucky as have to wait, but doesn't come to fruition by the time the venue closes.

So, Ladies, Gents, Couples:
For those that are interested in playing in venues as the opportunity arises, as in the scenario above, if it were up to you, at what point over the course if the evening is a decent time you'd like to play (assuming there's folk you do want to play with). Is 9pm too early? Is 2am too late?
Great post! (y)
Don't think we've ever looked at the clock and thought it's too early or sod it's too late now, surly it's more of when the time feels right for those involved. N&J xx
Totally agree.. time doesn't really bother us in that sense. x
Totally agree, I don’t tend to clock watch at a club but saying that on a few occasions at clubs the staff have been pounding on the door to get us out :rofl:
Yes we've seen this happen quite a bit. One of the worst case scenarios, was staff going into a play room to close windows, as joe public could hear the noise from outside. *cringe* :oops: It was almost chucking out time so... :confused:
 
D

Deleted member 3411

Really get you on this, if you jump right in there trying to play at 9:05 it looks as if you're just desperate and are only looking at the people from the sexual point of view not from a social point of view. Then again if you leave it too late either they are already engaged in fun elsewhere or have already had so much fun they're ready for just a coffee and a chat.
I think it's more a case of just go for it when it feels right but I do think you have to let those you're interested in know subtly that you're up for it as I do at least once know of an occasion where my lack of Speed was seen as a lack of interest.
To that end I thoroughly recommend to any of you reading this post that sometimes being subtle can be a little too subtle and one of my best fun nights as a single guy came about when the woman just leant forward at around about 9:45 and said are we going to talk all night or are we going to go somewhere and get it together. Sometimes girls guys don't know quite how to express themselves and are worried that they will look pushy, so especially in the case of single guys if you girls or couples want him to join you in the rooms just let him know otherwise he's going to be standing there at 2:45 thinking did I just let the moment pass me by?
 
27 July 2017
295
453
Most couples we have met at club's are there for the "look at me" {which is fine} with no intention of playing with others ...thats most not all.

"What's the rush? Why can't you just enjoy the social side?". You take that as a cue to back off. ...back off more like run off..lol..
 
14 February 2017
859
3,224
City
London
Really get you on this, if you jump right in there trying to play at 9:05 it looks as if you're just desperate and are only looking at the people from the sexual point of view not from a social point of view. Then again if you leave it too late either they are already engaged in fun elsewhere or have already had so much fun they're ready for just a coffee and a chat.
I think it's more a case of just go for it when it feels right but I do think you have to let those you're interested in know subtly that you're up for it as I do at least once know of an occasion where my lack of Speed was seen as a lack of interest.
To that end I thoroughly recommend to any of you reading this post that sometimes being subtle can be a little too subtle and one of my best fun nights as a single guy came about when the woman just leant forward at around about 9:45 and said are we going to talk all night or are we going to go somewhere and get it together. Sometimes girls guys don't know quite how to express themselves and are worried that they will look pushy, so especially in the case of single guys if you girls or couples want him to join you in the rooms just let him know otherwise he's going to be standing there at 2:45 thinking did I just let the moment pass me by?

Absolutely this! Sadly in a bid to "not look desperate" my subtely can very easily 9and has, several times) been seen as lack of interest: it isn't. And I can understand why ladies typically don't make the first move (fear of rejection). But consider this: guys have to face that fear everytime: it not because its our job, but for some reason traditional roles dictate we make the first move. Only problem is when it comes to swinging, unless you have absolute certainty, as a guy, you risk getting the "back off" response. So erring on the side of caution, subtlety is employed, often leading to missed opportunities.
 
Pearls

MOTM

18 July 2015
55,089
120,746
Absolutely this! Sadly in a bid to "not look desperate" my subtely can very easily 9and has, several times) been seen as lack of interest: it isn't. And I can understand why ladies typically don't make the first move (fear of rejection). But consider this: guys have to face that fear everytime: it not because its our job, but for some reason traditional roles dictate we make the first move. Only problem is when it comes to swinging, unless you have absolute certainty, as a guy, you risk getting the "back off" response. So erring on the side of caution, subtlety is employed, often leading to missed opportunities.
Brilliant post and as a lady myself (last time I looked) :D I am ashamed of the behaviour of some women in this scene and sadly you guys get the bad end of the stick, you know we are huge supporters of sg in the scene and will fight your corner in many scenarios as you know. Be confident and be yourself and if you get rejected then her loss. ;)