Why do singles enter into swinging?

[Tiger]

I’m beginning to see a pattern forming with both females & males where they are entering into the lifestyle for an escape!

They have usually just or recently come out of a relationship, are invariably on the rebound, searching for something to lessen the pain of that void they now have in their life, or worse still! doing it as a way of revenge against the ex partner!

I don’t what to tar every single person with the same brush, as I’m sure there’s some genuine swingles out there!

But I believe they are becoming as rare as the mythical unicorn!

Have others noticed this? or is it just me!

Tiger xx

 

[Lovernotfighter]

I don't know, I just like sex.

 

[berksbadger]

Probably true, but I wouldn't condemn them.
Story: A young married couple are sexually adventurous but some years in the partnership falters. It gets that the sex is not enough to keep everything else afloat. They have sex less often, then rarely, then never, but neither wants to be unfaithful, until finally they call time on the charade and part ways.
He's alone, broke, and struggling to make a happy part-time home for his kids, After a couple of years of emotional isolation, he doesn't want a return to the loneliness of his care-free twenties bachelorhood. He wants a companion, the life-partner he thought he'd got when he married. And because he knows how crap it is when it all goes wrong, he wants to find the right one, not just stumble into a thing with that newly single mum around the corner with the annoying dog.
But he's horny, and open-minded, and he has something to offer. He remembers joyous sex, before it became a thing that was scheduled or conducted in whispers only, He remembers when it was about two people seeking out new experiences, or going with the flow. The time with the voyeur farmer. That night on the beach alongside the aussie couple. The festival when they shared a tent with Sam. That party.
Who can blame him for seeing what fun is out there? You only live once.

 

[berksbadger]

I should stress that's not my story.

 

[AutumnH]

I’m beginning to see a pattern forming with both females & males where they are entering into the lifestyle for an escape!

They have usually just or recently come out of a relationship, are invariably on the rebound, searching for something to lessen the pain of that void they now have in their life, or worse still! doing it as a way of revenge against the ex partner!

I don’t what to tar every single person with the same brush, as I’m sure there’s some genuine swingles out there!

But I believe they are becoming as rare as the mythical unicorn!

Have others noticed this? or is it just me!

Tiger xx

Increased frequency and better quality sex.
Also making friends with which you can have dirty weekends away is a bonus

 

[Therapon]

I’m beginning to see a pattern forming with both females & males where they are entering into the lifestyle for an escape!

They have usually just or recently come out of a relationship, are invariably on the rebound, searching for something to lessen the pain of that void they now have in their life, or worse still! doing it as a way of revenge against the ex partner!

I don’t what to tar every single person with the same brush, as I’m sure there’s some genuine swingles out there!

But I believe they are becoming as rare as the mythical unicorn!

Have others noticed this? or is it just me!

Tiger xx

I'm sure plenty also join for the right reasons but there always have been, and will be, those who join because they expect by joining a site like this they will be having sex at the weekend. We know it doesn't work like that, if you want to get a leg over then you are going to have to work for it. Having said that we all join for different reasons, I joined after separating from my ex and yes I joined for sex. I personaly don't mind why people join so long as they are open, honest and are respectful and tolerant of others.
Yes some join for the reasons you mention but then very few of them realise that swinging requires the time and effort it takes and they usually move on after a short time.

 

[SteveandDebs]

I don't know about now but when I first got involved it wasn't just about sex. If I wanted to get laid I would go to my local O'Niels on a Friday night and hook up, hopefully for the weekend. I started swinging as I had a previous experience with a couple and really enjoyed the vibe. I was involved in the BDSM scene to start with, something I had always practised 'in private' but found that the BDSM purists had a really strange attitude to sex and tended to look down on anything overtly sexual. It was then I decided I was more a 'kinky sex' type person and started looking at swinging sites. I joined mingingheaven and things really took off.

At the time I used to have my son stay with me every other weekend and i ended up travelling all over the UK at least once a month to either munches or meets usually with a group of other singles.

Reading this back I realise that it sounds like it all happened quickly but the reality is things evolved over a couple of years.

Is it different today? To be honest I don't think it really is. Fakes, timewasters and predators have always been around, I just think we have got better at spotting them.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Is it different today? To be honest I don't think it really is. Fakes, timewasters and predators have always been around, I just think we have got better at spotting them.

Word. Too many and easily spotted.

 

[Deleted member 19022]

I myself am still married. I will not go into details but only say British citizenship and divorce.
I have always had an interest in swinging but never had the nerve to try. For me personally its not just about having sex with another couple. For those who think its that easy will have a shock. Talking from experience, but the couple and I are good friends even though the night was a complete disaster for me lol.
Thats what attracts me to the lifestyle now, great friendships and a feeling of belonging to a community regardless of age or sexually persuasion .

 

[Wildrabbit]

Well as a single guy and new to the site I’ll pop my reasons for joining.
About a 12 years or so ago after ex wife number 1 I had a threesome with a straight couple and really enjoyed it. In fact we met 3-4 times over a couple of months but he became odd I don’t know what it was but I wasn’t comfortable any more so it stopped I met someone got married and now aster 10 years she is ex wife number 2. So here I am a year after splitting in which I have explored my boundaries further then I ever thought. I now know I’m bi, not curious just bi, I love pussy and I love cock but trying to scratch both itch’s isn’t easy. So here I am my life is settled and happy I have a multitude of kids from young ones to ones in uni. And I’m enjoying everything but I want to explore my sexuality more to be able to find my unicorn of a bi couple and be able to experience all the pleasures of sex with both of them and have a really good time and make friends along the way with people who won’t judge someone for being a bi male which seems to very frowned upon. Your either straight or gay bi isn’t allowed if your a guy and I’m hoping that here there is a lot more tolerance. Don’t get me wrong either if there is a single woman who wants to chat and hook up at some point I’m perfectly happy to indulge but yes from time to time I do like cock too. ?

 

[Lips_Pearls]

with people who won’t judge someone for being a bi male which seems to very frowned upon.

Can't stand this. Not your post, but the approach.
What cheeses me off a little in the scene is - "great for two women to get together" yet for the majority of women, they love to see two guys have a laugh too. (Only going by nigh on 20 yrs experience).

Being gay is one thing, being flexible is something else.
We all have our own reasons for doing this.
A friend and I spoke about this this other day and I have often been vocal (kin ell okay bleated ? ) swinging for a marriage will do one of two things; strengthen it, weaken it. The latter is the usual.
We're human beings. Who are we or anyone to deny pleasure from others?

Yes I have sat and watched and felt those jealous pangs, but they're good pangs, not envy. Inspiration. Passion.
The after sex is ALWAYS the best.
I had fun with a mate during a foursome, fell off the bed and broke their newly plastered wall.... literally. Was it fun? Hell yeah. Do it again? Absolutely.. Carpe Diem and all that jazz. ? ? ?

 

[Deleted member 17925]

Probably true, but I wouldn't condemn them.
Story: A young married couple are sexually adventurous but some years in the partnership falters. It gets that the sex is not enough to keep everything else afloat. They have sex less often, then rarely, then never, but neither wants to be unfaithful, until finally they call time on the charade and part ways.
He's alone, broke, and struggling to make a happy part-time home for his kids, After a couple of years of emotional isolation, he doesn't want a return to the loneliness of his care-free twenties bachelorhood. He wants a companion, the life-partner he thought he'd got when he married. And because he knows how crap it is when it all goes wrong, he wants to find the right one, not just stumble into a thing with that newly single mum around the corner with the annoying dog.
But he's horny, and open-minded, and he has something to offer. He remembers joyous sex, before it became a thing that was scheduled or conducted in whispers only, He remembers when it was about two people seeking out new experiences, or going with the flow. The time with the voyeur farmer. That night on the beach alongside the aussie couple. The festival when they shared a tent with Sam. That party.
Who can blame him for seeing what fun is out there? You only live once.

Jeez, if that was your story ..... It sounds familiar, except the last bit !! ?‍??
Mine is similar, faithful husband, houses, kids & cars (the norms) for 23 years ....... But the last 5 unhappy, stuck in for the kids ..... But now separated & not looking for another life partner just fun !! ?
I grew up in the punk era & still a rebel at heart ..... I've always had a high sex drive ..... So i'm looking for new adventurers ...... Am I a swinger ? Not sure, I'm a newbie ..... I'm dipping my toe in and see if I like the scene. Since joining this site (after bad experiences during a short while on others) i'm warming to the idea !! ? More positive, than negative at the mo ....... However, I've always live my life by certain honest & non-discriminatory standards ........ I expect the same from any environment, swinging or otherwise ..... So I'm thankful to be a single person again, looking for some fun with like minded, forward thinking females & couples who enjoy sex & a giggle xx

 

[Stew]

My reasons have been chronicled many times suffice to say nothing has changed!

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I’m beginning to see a pattern forming with both females & males where they are entering into the lifestyle for an escape!

They have usually just or recently come out of a relationship, are invariably on the rebound, searching for something to lessen the pain of that void they now have in their life, or worse still! doing it as a way of revenge against the ex partner!

I don’t what to tar every single person with the same brush, as I’m sure there’s some genuine swingles out there!

But I believe they are becoming as rare as the mythical unicorn!

Have others noticed this? or is it just me!

Tiger xx

Even though I've posted previously in this, maybe they're also just kinky buggers who want to flex their boundaries and explore too. Just my tuppenceworth.
But yeah, as rare as rocking horse shit now. ? ?

 

[Guru G]

I don't know, I just like sex.

This is also my answer