Single Guys On The Swinging Scene

[MickeyBlueBalls]

Ok another two pennorth from me I have been meaning to get off my chest !

The main reason I see for nervousness on here is down to the awful reputation that single guys have on other sites, they scattergun pm every girl within a radius often with disgusting messages, I.e. Anything for a free shag !

Here it takes time to become accepted and trusted because yes it's a sex site , but no it's not a meat market !

Climbs off soapbox and sits down !

Whilst I share your views on guys on other sites I disagree with the nervousness here.....after all that behaviour is not tolerated at SS. I think it's safe to assume the vast majority of single guys here are certainly not like that. M

 

[MickeyBlueBalls]

 

[Brumcouple2013]

Tried to read all the posts in this thread, but have been side tracked a few times. But he is our thought and hope they all make sense.

Single men on the scene may get a hard time. Unfortunately like most things in life a few spoil it for the others. We will also chat to males providing they are polite and respectful. Once they over step the mark we will block them or walk away. But we don't ignore them because we are not looking fir a single male. Yes clubs do restrictions on Saturdays but maybe someone from the club scene could explain why.
We also feel the same and we are a couple, and did have a think about why we are on the scene recently. Again because we have been unable to attract any attention, but having recently walked away from one other site, we are now solely on here. We love SS and guess that's why we didn't walk away. We love the banter and helpful advice give by members and admin.
So we just keep trying.

 

[Deleted member 6127]

Ok...I joined this fantastic site not knowing what the hell would happen and thought let's give it a try. As an SG it was hard work getting people to acknowledge you, talk to you let alone try and meet, but as they say 'Rome wasn't built in a day' so I kept trying, being respectful at all times and eventually people started to chat.

I've meet SF and couples on SS and with out exception that meeting didn't happen over night but took time. Who initiated the request for a meet, then with couples I left it to them to ask, maybe didn't want to feel the rejection and spoil a friendship. For the SF yes I asked, some said yes others no but then that's real life in trying to meet a lady....

Not having any experience of other sites then I've no idea but here on our SS SG's are looked after by the staff and in my humble opinion treated extremely well by ALL members. As in real life if people want to meet you then it's their choice, but SS gives you the opportunity to meet like minded people.

Having been so fortunate, plus a bit of Lady Luck to meet a gorgeous lady on SS, who I absolutely adore and love to bits then I'm now on the other side so to speak.

So SG's this site does work for all and with effort plus respect you get out what you put in...

Enjoy the site, don't over analyse, stay if you want too or go and find a better place, but I doubt it..your choice, your life xxxxx :0)) T

 

[Tigress]

I guess some people are looking for single guys to join them and others not. I think everyone here knows my views on the matter

I always visit the VA on a Friday night as I don't usually play with couples. I was lucky enough to play with 3 particularly lovely ones on my birthday, 4 if you include @billy55. And every one of them was polite, attentive and played safe.

 

[Nigel&Julie]

This thread seemed to have strayed into several things, going back to @MP386 original topic, we have been discussing this as our outlook on the scene has also changed since we started here, we wouldn't say that single guys are tolerated here, they are part of the whole swinging scene, same as single ladys, TV's CD's, etc etc as well as the couples we are all in the same boat, ie... you have to put the leg work into it to enable you to get something out of it, as in RL you have to work at things to get the best out of it. We have found that the single guys on here are very polite & respectful unlike other sites out there, and new comers are shown the errors in there ways and if they don't heed the warning they are shown the door, this also applies to everyone else, couples, single ladys TV's CD's etc.
Think tolerated means being on the sidelines, just being around..that is definately not the case on here but as for the scene in general maybe that's the confidence thing again and how forward and honest we can be?
Maybe single guys make a rod for their own back sometimes as in...we have been to VA several times on a friday night and the guys just seem to walk round & round & round like sharks looking for prey (which pisses us off) they are happy to try to join in with us in the play rooms or the hot tub but won't actually come & talk to us at the bar or even offer to buy Julie a drink first to get to know us/her but are quite happy to try & shag her, but it's our choice to go on a friday night again that's where the leg work comes in.

 

[UKM45]

As a single guy I've learnt that you have to put the effort in and get used to the knocks . I've been very lucky in my time swinging. At clubs, I like to people watch, and I feel for the ladies/couples being followed by the single guys. Clubs were scary at first, but have now found I'm quite comfortable approaching couples and chatting with them. One of my friends at Atlantis cant believe how more confident I am these days from the shy guy they first knew.

 

[Lace]

Ok I have read this thread and I must disagree with what you initially said @MP386 that gents are tolerated here, I actually find that rather disrespectful when I see the huge support given to gents here. I don't meet single gents but I believe I have mingled enough here to make them feel wanted and accepted, I also think the owners defend the guys here well.
I do see from a club point of view that there are frustrations but remembering it is at the end of the day, their rules. I think cost is another factor that could be looked at but there is opportunity to attend on a Friday. We have all made sacrifices to attend parties at a personal cost. I would say couples with young families more so than us single folk.
I'm single but don't have plenty of money.
What I will say if you were to go onto another site which we all know and hate then this thread wouldn't have gone far, I believe honestly you would have left.
This site is the most supportive of all members and seeing that you have already had a few meets says it all really, I have only met with two from here, my choice but you are doing well and seem to enjoy your time here.
If honest gents being tolerated is simply not true from my own experience here.
X

 

[MickeyBlueBalls]

Interesting thread, as an SG I'll sit on the fence for the main ......
However...... @MP386 is a gentleman and has not a disrespectful bone in his body. I don't believe the intent was to disrespect anyone, merely just to convey his thoughts at the time. As with all people we can't be on top of the world all of the time the world just isn't like that. We all have bad days from time to time so cut the guy some slack.

 

[Lace]

So far all the guys I have spoken to have been lovely, I am responding to a thread that is all, I don't believe that guys are merely tolerated here, far from the truth.

 

[MP386]

Interesting thread, as an SG I'll sit on the fence for the main ......
However...... @MP386 is a gentleman and has not a disrespectful bone in his body. I don't believe the intent was to disrespect anyone, merely just to convey his thoughts at the time. As with all people we can't be on top of the world all of the time the world just isn't like that. We all have bad days from time to time so cut the guy some slack.

Thank you @MickeyBlueBalls ... I probably shouldn't post stuff when I have a few beers ... I am but a simple builder not an Oxford Scholar so my choice of words probably wasn't the best or politically correct .... if I offend anyone I apologise....
So maybe @Admin needs to lock this up and consign it to the bin .....

 

[Lace]

The point about clubs is a valid one and for what it's worth I agree with you, however to make a sweeping statement about the site and that single gents are tolerated here, is in my opinion an incorrect statement to make.
Seeing you have ignored my post when I have shown support says it all.

 

[Sammy]

So far all the guys I have spoken to have been lovely, I am responding to a thread that is all, I don't believe that guys are merely tolerated here, far from the truth.

I completely agree with Mickey here and he has said it very well about MP3 and I know he is a well respected member of this community

MP3 or any of us have the right to say how "they feel "

Everyone's experience is totally different based on who we interact with . Each of us feel experiences in different ways
What's ok with one may offend or hurt another

If someone says they feel a certain way it's not our place to criticise them

Certainly we can have a differing opinion and but I think we need to support someone , if they are struggling a little

 

[Bump-n-Grind]

from what i can see the up coming socials are aimed solely at couples and single women being Saturdays ...

The point about clubs is a valid one and for what it's worth I agree with you

Can I ask what part of that is valid?

 

[Lace]

from what i can see the up coming socials are aimed solely at couples and single women being Saturdays ...

The point about clubs is a valid one and for what it's worth I agree with you,

Can I ask what part of that is valid?

Of course you can. I'm referring to this part of @MP386 post x

the question of club rules which in the whole exclude single guys on a Saturday.....

 

[Admin]

Thank you @MickeyBlueBalls if I offend anyone I apologise....So maybe @Admin needs to lock this up and consign it to the bin .....

Hi all,
I am replying to clarify something..
@MP386 you do not need to apologise to anyone about expressing your feelings and concerns.
The reason I didn't want to lock and bin this thread is because, you have brought up an issue that has long been needed to be discussed.
Other members have also contributed to your points, either in disagreement or agreement. Some have simply acknowledged that this is a frustrating situation.
I wanted the thread to remain open, so as adults, people can chew the fat as it were, and discuss the situations regarding things such as - single gent restriction policies, how single guys can be generally treated at times by others, and how some can feel totally left out in the dark.

It's all these issues that I firmly believe should be discussed, have a place on the site to be discussed and explored.
If people challenge other people's opinions, that's fine (as long as it doesn't break the rules or flame) and not a reason to close a thread.
As I pointed out in this thread, I genuinely feel that some of this needs to be aired and openly discussed;
Saturday 29th April

Providing it can be discussed maturely, in an adult fashion..
Hopefully this can be discussed by people across the site, without it resorting to insults or derogatory comments, which is when it will be locked.
Thanks all and I hope this helps clarify why we feel it's not strictly necessary to close this (healthy) discussion at this stage.
Admin

 

[Never_say_Never]

Wouldn't it be great if one of the more popular clubs would hold a 'special night' on a Saturday night, say once every couple of months even, where a set number of single gents could attend.
Just a thought......... xx

 

[Bump-n-Grind]

Wouldn't it be great if one of the more popular clubs would hold a 'special night' on a Saturday night, say once every couple of months even, where a set number of single gents could attend.
Just a thought......... xx

Cupids, Townhouse, The Attic, Amour. All popular club's that allow single gents in on a Saturday

 

[Never_say_Never]

Cupids, Townhouse, The Attic, Amour. All popular club's that allow single gents in on a Saturday

Thank you for correcting me @Bump-n-Grind, I'm sure some of the single gents will find this informative x

 

[Never_say_Never]

Cupids, Townhouse, The Attic, Amour. All popular club's that allow single gents in on a Saturday

This is great, I had never realised that there were this many clubs offering single gents entry on a Saturday night. However, they are up north so to speak.
Does anyone know of any clubs more central or south/south east that allow single gents entry on a Saturday night? xx

 

[andymitel]

South London Swingers hold parties on two Saturdays every month at the party house in Sutton

 

[Admin]

Cupids, Townhouse, The Attic, Amour. All popular club's that allow single gents in on a Saturday

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I am sure the information is appreciated.
Seems a solution already to some of the issues raised.

South London Swingers hold parties on two Saturdays every month at the party house in Sutton

Got them.. thank you, will get in touch and discuss advertising and listing events etc. and what we can do reciprocally for each other, if anything.

 

[MickeyBlueBalls]

Thank you @MickeyBlueBalls ... I probably shouldn't post stuff when I have a few beers ... I am but a simple builder not an Oxford Scholar so my choice of words probably wasn't the best or politically correct .... if I offend anyone I apologise....
So maybe @Admin needs to lock this up and consign it to the bin .....

You've nothing to apologies for bud. You have the right to voice your concerns no matter who agrees or disagrees with your views. I personally don't think your thread warrants some of the critique I've seen.

 

[Nigel&Julie]

So maybe the answer to some of the above points is to hold a social event in a private venue...ie...a lot of hotels have function rooms for hire, just a thought...N

 

[MP386]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I am sure the information is appreciated.
Seems a solution already to some of the issues raised.

Got them.. thank you, will get in touch and discuss advertising and listing events etc. and what we can do reciprocally for each other, if anything.

Sorry I think some of the point I was trying to get across was not just Saturday's at random clubs ... they aren't SS socials whether official or unofficial...if I want a random club I would find one ..