The Come And Go Debate.

[Deleted member 3411]

Ok all this is a simple thought for you to mull over, comment if you want and add your thoughts too. Over the years and also on this site I've seen a number who come and go. There are a few who stay and are still here a year or more latter, but for me it appears many sign up, are here for about 3 weeks to 4 months and then are never seen again. Do you think they come to see if they like swinging then either leave saying "nah I think not", try it and think "always wanted to try and now I have no need to stay", or do they just get bored? Not talking those who leave for valid, even declared reasons, I mean those who just disappear.
NOTE: not implying any reason is wrong or right, just wondering why folk fade away?

 

[The-Gent]

Well please dont take this wrong but I found it difficult to keep going some times, its a little going through the forums can get a bit boring if you dont know the peeps, In the main they are friendly but does seem a little that peeps come on here for a little catch up with someone they know. maybe a mentor type person can pick them up and find out what they want from the site and help them mix better with the kind they hope to meet ! or maybe they just want to chat with a real swinger lol. This is not how I find things however it is always difficult getting to know peeps . some times a collection room were everyone speaks works well. I am guessing. Just wanted to drop this in.

 

[The-Gent]

I mean a lot of you meet at the VA the other night but very little report has been given, im not a perv (well all the time) But a run down would be interesting to newbies just to see how you full timers enjoy swinging?

 

[The-Gent]

:collar:

 

[Deleted member 3411]

I mean a lot of you meet at the VA the other night but very little report has been given, im not a perv (well all the time) But a run down would be interesting to newbies just to see how you full timers enjoy swinging?

I know what you mean, the BIG issue for many is...what will happen? A none titillating and informative run down might help.

 

[The-Gent]

Aww mate what happens in the clubs stays in the clubs !!

No one wants the gory details but a shared experience might help?

 

[The-Gent]

The really annoying ones are the ones that sign up put pics up , and then never log on again, times many I have seen someone like a pic and vote for it without realising that person hadn't logged on for months!

People will always come and go but if they don't interact we can't help x

Well I am sure that would be easily cured!

 

[The-Gent]

Well I am sure that would be easily cured!

Yes I do know but like walking into bar/club pub If no one speaks to you you dont get involved . The first time we swung lol was at VA and if a couple hadnt come across and chatted we would still be virgins lol

 

[Brumcouple2013]

We have been on the scene for nearly five years (still newbies) and have visted/ joined many different sites. Some we stayed awhile but didn't have any success in finding what we want, other sites just didn't suit us and we left in a few months. The longest one was four years and only left in the last few months. This was down to too many fakes and time wasters, but it was a big site.
Happy here now, as it's the right size and good mix of people. we just need to sort a meet out as Mrs Brum is becoming very frustrated.

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Ah you haven't attended a club with me there then most on here will tell you I drag you out of yourself whether you like it or not ,im the in your face chatty lets find out who you are and what makes you tick kind of person , you might even keep ya towel on lol

 

[Brumcouple2013]

Ah you haven't attended a club with me there then most on here will tell you I drag you out of yourself whether you like it or not ,im the in your face chatty lets find out who you are and what makes you tick kind of person , you might even keep ya towel on lol

Have to agree with the above as she did that to us. But we did get you back @Miss-Sexy-Legs as we got you in the jacuzzi.

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Have to agree with the above as she did that to us. But we did get you back @Miss-Sexy-Legs as we got you in the jacuzzi.

Oh you did indeed xx

 

[Deleted member 3411]

Ah you haven't attended a club with me there then most on here will tell you I drag you out of yourself whether you like it or not ,im the in your face chatty lets find out who you are and what makes you tick kind of person , you might even keep ya towel on lol

...well I do hope you get to drag us out some time

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

...well I do hope you get to drag us out some time

God help ya xx

 

[peakcouple]

Newcomers to swinging probably don't realise that meeting someone through a group is hard work - imagine they think that after joining they'll be bombarded with offers of meets, and when that doesn't happen they lose interest and maybe try another group. You have to keep at it!

 

[Admin]

Interesting thread peeps. I definitely in my shoes, see many many people come and go. Some for serious personal reasons, some due to lack of time for anything, some for not swinging anymore and so on..
We know that sometimes it can be daunting/tedious/frustrating/boring/painful/ etc etc for people and we do try to make sure that we're always around if people do need newbie advice, or help and support into how to get going.. You get the gist..
But yes we see a lot of people coming and going.
Frustrating at times for us aye. We have never played the numbers game, (PV is a testament to this) but we know damn well we need more bums on seats here too.
Saying that, we're still a baby - only two. In the grand scheme of things, that's sweet FA. We will get there however.

 

[Admin]

Newcomers to swinging probably don't realise that meeting someone through a group is hard work - imagine they think that after joining they'll be bombarded with offers of meets, and when that doesn't happen they lose interest and maybe try another group. You have to keep at it!

This is one of the biggest things and misconceptions tbh.
People think they will be inundated. It's not the case. YOU have to put the work in to get the rewards.

 

[BlancoGoGo]

Well please dont take this wrong but I found it difficult to keep going some times, its a little going through the forums can get a bit boring if you dont know the peeps, In the main they are friendly but does seem a little that peeps come on here for a little catch up with someone they know. maybe a mentor type person can pick them up and find out what they want from the site and help them mix better with the kind they hope to meet ! or maybe they just want to chat with a real swinger lol. This is not how I find things however it is always difficult getting to know peeps . some times a collection room were everyone speaks works well. I am guessing. Just wanted to drop this in.

Agreed. The forums do get a little 'cliquey' often with the same people turning a serious thread into 'banter'.

 

[Deleted member 3411]

Would you say that cliquey-ness is a major problem? Does a core group of people bantering put people off? Is there anything we can do to be more inclusive?

People will always 'group together', but if they become inclusive and shun newcomers it's their loss. Personally I love to be helpful and love a chat

 

[BlancoGoGo]

Would you say that cliquey-ness is a major problem? Does a core group of people bantering put people off? Is there anything we can do to be more inclusive?

It puts me off. Even now I'm finding it hard to write this, as it seems anything deemed to be anything like a criticism of the site, however constructive it's meant to be, is often met with hostility.

 

[Baldrick]

Well done Gent good post, I agree that some people need guidance too, do you ever pop in chat rooms to have a natter ?

We used to go into the chat rooms but found them to be usually empty to be honest. We also found it difficult to initiate conversation through chat and not many folk approached us.

We found our feet interacting in the forums and profile posts x

 

[Sammy]

For me I'm sure people will use the site for different reasons

They will use the site at different stages in their journey

Some will want the social side
Some will hate it and won't use forum at all

Some like to get to know people first , while other jump in head first

It's a bit daunting joining but on a whole people are very welcoming

I'm only in few weeks and I'll put my hand up and say I wondered is this the right place. Or do I fit in

Sometimes the forum can be great fun but as with nature of folk in any situation , you gravitate towards those you click with or have commonalities with

Personally I think you get out as much as you put in

Sometimes what you see on forum is not what you get off forum in pms m chats
And if it hadn't have been from support of a few regulars n few newbies I don't know if I'd stayed tbh

While the other flip side to that is I've had fantastic conversations both funny serious and educational lol

The staff and moderators are amazing and I don't know any other site that offer so much of their personal space m time not just to support you with site stuff

Bit of a long winded response
Just my thoughts

 

[Deleted member 3411]

Feel that wag?? Way even

I thought we had some footballers wives in for a minute...lol

 

[meet_the_fockers]

We used to go into the chat rooms but found them to be usually empty to be honest. We also found it difficult to initiate conversation through chat and not many folk approached us.

We found our feet interacting in the forums and profile posts x

And now look at yer


Interaction folks, communication, it can be difficult, for newcomers to wade in.. of course it, depends entirely on your demeanor and, personalities.
I have seen newbies join with big personalities.. and jump right in at the deep end. The more reserved can get over shadowed, whilst sitting in the corner.. erm should i? Erm no i cant? Erm... just do it!!
If you are ignored say OI.. excuse me..
Having said that, there are many seasoned members here that sit, peruse, watch.. distance themselves.. its just different personalities..
Cliques happen.. people gravitate to certain people, the same as they do in "the ordinary world"
Such is life I'm afraid.. and it will always be so..
We as staff try to interact with members draw them out, as you will.
@Miss-Sexy-Legs is legendary for it..
But theres only so much we can do.. can lead a horse to water.. but....
Xxx

 

[Deleted member 3411]

@Sammy I found it best to peg back a bit on being chatty as I began to wonder if some thought we (I) were just a wannabe. Lots of talk no action.... but soon we shall get more active and will be very happy to meet a number of the folk from here. I too have had fun, laughs, learned things and even had sexy fun chats whole here.... but yes you do need a dose of reality and patience.