Not mine but stolen from chubby brown 
You sit upon the toilet
With everything prepared
Your feeling quite excited but
A little bloody scared
That huge amount of christmas nosh
Has turned into a log
And now the fateful time has come
To flush it down the bog
But first you must expel the beast
And so you start to strain
You bite down on a piece of wood
To take away the pain
But oh my god its bloody huge
Its like giving birth
You sweat and push and swear and shake
And strain for all your worth
And then that magic moment comes
Tha fills your soul with cheer
A turd the size of king kongs arm
Emerges from your rear
And like a bomb it hits the pan
Thus lightening your mood
And making room inside your guts
For lots more christmas food
You sit upon the toilet
With everything prepared
Your feeling quite excited but
A little bloody scared
That huge amount of christmas nosh
Has turned into a log
And now the fateful time has come
To flush it down the bog
But first you must expel the beast
And so you start to strain
You bite down on a piece of wood
To take away the pain
But oh my god its bloody huge
Its like giving birth
You sweat and push and swear and shake
And strain for all your worth
And then that magic moment comes
Tha fills your soul with cheer
A turd the size of king kongs arm
Emerges from your rear
And like a bomb it hits the pan
Thus lightening your mood
And making room inside your guts
For lots more christmas food
