Christmas Crackers..

Vanezza

Stud Muffin

11 May 2017

11,328

37,235

51

• 24 December 2020

• #1

You all know what this one is so I'll start with

What did the shepherd sing on Christmas eve?


All I want for Christmas is ewe ?

N xxx

 

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Mr and Mrs Marmite

12 July 2019

941

1,809

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City

Basildon

• 24 December 2020

• #2

Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem?

It takes a miracle to find three wise men there

 

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Vanezza

Stud Muffin

11 May 2017

11,328

37,235

51

• 24 December 2020

• #3

I won't take credit for this one. It's a Tim Vine gag

The turkey challenged me to a fight.

He threw down the giblet.

N xxx

 

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Vanezza

Stud Muffin

11 May 2017

11,328

37,235

51

• 24 December 2020

• #4

The late great Frank Carson...

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."

N xxx

 

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Vanezza

Stud Muffin

11 May 2017

11,328

37,235

51

• 25 December 2020

• #5

I made Christmas dinner for a friend and he asked me "How did you make this bird so juicy?"
I said "Well, you hold her close and her squeeze her tight"

N xxx

 

Reactions: MP386 and Therapon