For background, my wife and I are in our mid 30s in the NYC area and have been swinging for a little more than a year. Over the past year, we've moved away from the clubs and one-night-stand style of swinging and instead opting for dinner dates that lead to more. We've been with one couple in particular for a few months now.
At one point, one of my female friends opened up about previously having an open relationship with her SO. That opened the door to talking about my wife and I's lifestyle, among other things. At one point, there seemed to be some pretty strong hints that they would be interested in doing something. But due to vacations, moves, job changes, etc, we never really followed up.
Now that we've been settled in, we've started edging closer and had fun, flirty conversations.
In the past, we've taken the advice of "make friends out of swingers, not swingers out of friends," but we feel this couple could be an exception. Unlike some couples we've met in the lifestyle, these two are extremely mature and professional.
As far as we know, however, they have never done anything with other people. They've been to a swingers club once (and had sex in the back rooms), but were a little intimidated and turned off by the age distribution.
However, we are sure they're at least interested by the idea. My wife asked explicitly if they were, and they said yes. But the context was bad for more rules-based conversations, and we're pretty sure they won't bring it up on their own.
Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Some of the things my wife and I are trying to figure out:
At one point, one of my female friends opened up about previously having an open relationship with her SO. That opened the door to talking about my wife and I's lifestyle, among other things. At one point, there seemed to be some pretty strong hints that they would be interested in doing something. But due to vacations, moves, job changes, etc, we never really followed up.
Now that we've been settled in, we've started edging closer and had fun, flirty conversations.
In the past, we've taken the advice of "make friends out of swingers, not swingers out of friends," but we feel this couple could be an exception. Unlike some couples we've met in the lifestyle, these two are extremely mature and professional.
As far as we know, however, they have never done anything with other people. They've been to a swingers club once (and had sex in the back rooms), but were a little intimidated and turned off by the age distribution.
However, we are sure they're at least interested by the idea. My wife asked explicitly if they were, and they said yes. But the context was bad for more rules-based conversations, and we're pretty sure they won't bring it up on their own.
Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Some of the things my wife and I are trying to figure out:
- Should we explicitly have the "rules" conversation? Or should we just try to let same room happen organically?
- We're planning to invite them over. Should we have the conversation before then? Invite just for "drinks," or more?
- Any best practices for initiating bedroom activities with first timers?
Overall, it feels like they want us to take the lead... We're struggling with that given that they're newbies.- Any best practices for initiating bedroom activities with first timers?
