Ouch!Well, it wasn't a date, as such, but a gorgeous young barmaid in the pub I used to work asked me back to her place for a few glasses of wine. I purchased a nice bottle of red (not even the house wine, classy guy me) and, to the envy of all the guys in the bar, we retired to her flat. She put on her Jacksons CD and I poured the wine while admiring her white carpet. I know what you're all thinking at this point; he spills the wine. If only .
I'd already sunk a few beers beforehand and hadn't had anything to eat all day... yes, I ended up projectile-vomiting all over the pristine shag pile
Still woke up next to her in the morning though
Ouch!
But you won in the end.. still..
okay while it's a bit of a dating thing going on.. One mistake I made, and yes this is a whopper. Eating in a restaurant I was already sozzled. I mean well oiled.. I started nodding off at the table. When I realised what I was doing, I made a cigarette (back then smoking was still allowed) but I made it or tried to make it, using a £10 note.
I was and mortified when I realised what I was doing.
Oh...Normally not knowing what to say and me being me I'm normally over dressed for what ever the date was, why did I think waist coat and tie was a good idea for a coffee date.
Kate!?Hmmm i did once meet a guy.. now why i will never know, i decided to call myself kate.. i like that name.. needless to say its nothing like my own..
Now although this guy was a hottie.. he spent most of the evening preening himself.. and puffing out his chest..
Boring and not a bit of me.. so i thought hey ho... ill drag him to my local.. the kind of local with no windows, and saw dust on the floor..
So in we waltzes.. much too his horror..it was full.. hey there such n such hi how are you etc etc.. needless to say.. of course they didnt call me kate.. this guy looks most preturbed.. and looked at me like i was crazy.
Having said that the end of the evening...
Can i see you again.. me in my usual lairy joky manner haha you must be joking.and thumps him on the arm.. i was doing exactly that!! Joking..
He didnt see the funny side n flounced off.. ommm.. next...
where the hell do you meet these men?I did once go out with a project manager.. from british aeorospace.. blimey what a toff...yacht gold card blah blah..
Could not get used to him sniffing red wine before drinking and swilling it around his gums... blimey it was like dating a cigar puffing mr Ed ... that one bit the dust n'all.. he took me to a wine tasting evening
Well i didnt know you were supposed to spit it out...i think i threw up on his real leather designer..shoooosies ommmmm
Lol i like that name..
Ahhh that would be telling twas a few moons ago.. there was a website called faceparty.. i think its now replaced by facebook.. hawhere the hell do you meet these men?
As in 'Kiss Me, Kate' (based, of course, on Taming of the Shrew)?
Lol spiffing... xxNormally not knowing what to say and me being me I'm normally over dressed for what ever the date was, why did I think waist coat and tie was a good idea for a coffee date.
Well, it wasn't a date, as such, but a gorgeous young barmaid in the pub I used to work asked me back to her place for a few glasses of wine. I purchased a nice bottle of red (not even the house wine, classy guy me) and, to the envy of all the guys in the bar, we retired to her flat. She put on her Jacksons CD and I poured the wine while admiring her white carpet. I know what you're all thinking at this point; he spills the wine. If only .
I'd already sunk a few beers beforehand and hadn't had anything to eat all day... yes, I ended up projectile-vomiting all over the pristine shag pile
Still woke up next to her in the morning though
Great recovery! -notOuch!
But you won in the end.. still..
okay while it's a bit of a dating thing going on.. One mistake I made, and yes this is a whopper. Eating in a restaurant I was already sozzled. I mean well oiled.. I started nodding off at the table. When I realised what I was doing, I made a cigarette (back then smoking was still allowed) but I made it or tried to make it, using a £10 note.
I was mortified when I realised what I was doing.
Oh dear... Talk about saying the wrong thing.You guys are making me feel not so bad about my dating disasters. I let my mouth run away with me and engage in bouts of honesty...
I told a really hot date that my new litmus test was that I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't in to the comedian Tim Minchen -don't know why as had only seen him for first time the night before. Text next morning told me she'd watched his videos and decided she wasn't in to either of us.
Not a first date, but after three dates with a woman on fire who had declared she wanted a man for her bed that winter, I sent a text to say she needed to get over the crush on her divorce lawyer, she got over me in stead!
Of course could be that I'd just offered them get out of jail cards....no, never!
You guys are making me feel not so bad about my dating disasters. I let my mouth run away with me and engage in bouts of honesty...
I told a really hot date that my new litmus test was that I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't in to the comedian Tim Minchen -don't know why as had only seen him for first time the night before. Text next morning told me she'd watched his videos and decided she wasn't in to either of us.
Not a first date, but after three dates with a woman on fire who had declared she wanted a man for her bed that winter, I sent a text to say she needed to get over the crush on her divorce lawyer, she got over me in stead!
Of course could be that I'd just offered them get out of jail cards....no, never!
So do I need to send back that wine apprrcI did once go out with a project manager.. from british aeorospace.. blimey what a toff...yacht gold card blah blah..
Could not get used to him sniffing red wine before drinking and swilling it around his gums... blimey it was like dating a cigar puffing mr Ed ... that one bit the dust n'all.. he took me to a wine tasting evening
Well i didnt know you were supposed to spit it out...i think i threw up on his real leather designer..shoooosies ommmmm
That's the thought I hang on to...Not into Tim Minchin??Lucky escape mate!
Tidied this up a little for youSo do I need to send back that wine apprrc
That's the thought I hang on to...
I'll send back the wine appreciation course I bought for your birthday then?!...
Thanks -phone died mid-postTidied this up a little for you
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