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Nervousness (think Thats How You Spell It)

Phoenixcouplexx

28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
Goo'd question.
Our take on it is this.
We're a couple so talk to and engage the couple because if I don't get on with you then you're not getting anywhere near my wife. Many single men miss that bit.
If you're at a social and you're getting on Greta then ask for contact details or a username on a website.
Either just simply ask at the time and say something like 'I've really had a great time talking to you both and I would love to see how we went in a more private scenario if you guys were game. Or take the details and ask later online if it's easier.
Just be who you are, personally if someone is shy or nervous we can handle that if were made aware of it. If we are not aware of it then it is easily mistaken for something else....
So chill out, talk to both partners and be friendly open and honest....
Would work for us
 
D

Deleted member 3657

Well any approach I've made has been met with rejection or being completely ignored, not just here but in real life also recently. Anything that has happened has been because they approached me. So I have really taken a huge step back now as my confidence is completely shot and the thought of more rejection from my approach makes me too nervous to say anything. So the likelihood is, I won't make the first move.
 

Vanezza

Stud Muffin
11 May 2017
11,328
37,235
51
Been there too on other sites and it completely knocks your confidence, It totally knocked my confidence when a woman gave me the come on and then i got rejected within a week or so. Not happened on here its all been good. So if we was looking for single guys and you contacted us you certainly would not be ignored or knocked back, also because we not looking for single guys it doesn't mean we wont chat to single guys.
 
Reactions: Deleted member 6485 and No longer with us
T

Tigress

My recommendation would be to chat to couples in a social situation and perhaps take your cue from them. Just because you are having a chat it doesn't mean they should feel obliged to play, or that you should.

I always say go for it and if you are knocked back try not to take it personally. Attraction is a very individual thing.
 
Reactions: Therapon

Textmix

25 July 2016
3
11
We note your concern Kwaka but, you know, life is like that. Mostly we get rejection and lots of failures. However, if you stand back and wait to be approached that's all you will get. Put you head above the parapet, accept that you might get shot but take a chance and one of those might just work out.
 
Reactions: Deleted member 6485 and No longer with us
J

Johng1972000

 
J

Johng1972000

Hi, I'm not new to swinging myself but I experience the same nerves as I did when I started. One thing I noted was my disappointment initially that swinging was not as easy as I thought it would be.
The irony is that swinging is no different than meeting the preferred sex in any situation. The only advantage is that hopefully the expectations are limited to Meeting new friends and sex and nothing more.
 

MOTM

Pearls

18 July 2015
55,117
121,117
We have met @Wheelsxxx and you know what, I have never met such a happy positive person, you don't need advice, you have everything you need to get anywhere.. Personality, I never see you moan, whinge, show negativity. You are a wonderful person inside and out. Oh and did I mention a little charmer on the sly, keep being you Speedy xxx
 
Reactions: Deleted member 6485, mrclouse, Therapon and 1 other person
T

The_Bibas

Behave...
It's a numbers game..
What you see in the mirror isn't what they see..
I have had more no shows and rejections than most of the people on here put together.. It's life!
8 billion more people out there.. So get back on your moped duck it will happen

XxxBibaxxX
 
Reactions: Deleted member 6485
T

The_Bibas

Look at this place as the end of date shelf in supermarket..
Loads of people hanging around waiting for a few decent reduced items amongst all the out of date coleslaw and moldy sausage rolls..
Waiting for that fillet steak to come and look for you is not going to happen.
Push to the front of the line.. Push those pensioners out of the way and grab your pepperoni pizza before someone else does..
Holding back will make you feel less confident next time..
If you don't get it this time no loss..
There will always be another custard slice..
Remember hun.. If at first you don't succeed try try a different way!
Bibacouncillor
Xx
 
Reactions: Nigel&Julie, Deleted member 6485, bjlam and 1 other person
D

Deleted member 3657

Law of averages and all that.
I suppose though that a part of it is that I don't want to be a nuisance (no need to comment @Miss-Sexy-Legs @Pearls @meet_the_fockers I feel your eyes rolling lol)
I suppose also I need to get a feel of if I am someone's type first so I don't make things awkward for anyone or again that rejection. Basically, I don't want to be harassing anyone as there's a few that have caught my eye and the ones I thought there was a possibility it turned out I was very wide of the mark.
 
D

Deleted member 3657

Any muffin???
 
T

The_Bibas

All the answers you need to approach someone correctly is in their profile..
It's not rocket science.. Although you do need to understand the treynor measure of correlation vs risk to have a great chance..
That said I am sure you would be forgiven for the mistake..

Not by me though
XxxBibaxxX
 
Reactions: Therapon and Deleted member 3657

MOTM

Pearls

18 July 2015
55,117
121,117
Not rolling my eyes at all hun, you know my feelings, negativity is not pretty as you know and you have a great personality. It needs to show more, this is what makes you attractive to others. Lately as you know it hasn't been showing. So give yourself a slap and lets see the Kwaka we know and love, Yes
 
C

CuriousJ

my partner is quite confident and im the complete opposite, low self esteem is a killer if you have it and i am in envy of anyone who is so open and has that confidence. Honestly dont know how i would approach someone and have much love for the people who have the balls to do so xxxx
 

Miss-Sexy-Legs

Admin
24 November 2015
20,110
56,051
Believe me when I say if you put in the effort on here you'll soon become more confident these lot have a way of making everything and everyone so relaxed, we strive to be open about most things on site and there are some amazing threads to browse xx
 
Reactions: Therapon and CuriousJ

Phoenixcouplexx

28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester

So....
Standing on the edge of the abyss,
Nail the shot (just one mind to many is to easy lol),
Then launch yourself straight into the middle,
Get to know people, have a laugh, fight your fear and you will find there is an amazing amount of fun to be had

Welcome guys xxx
 
Reactions: Nigel&Julie
T

The_Bibas

True story..
I am shy in groups..
Stephen dared me to approach this boy I liked.. After plenty of drinks I eventually did.. He turned me down and I felt awful.. But it made me realise that I never wanted to feel like that again..
So yes you can hide behind your fears or face them..
Stuff still scares the shit out of me.. But I would never let it show..
Does that make me confident or is it bravery and determination..
We are never what we seem..
XxxBibaxxX
 
Reactions: Therapon

Vanezza

Stud Muffin
11 May 2017
11,328
37,235
51
I suffer terribly from nervousness, I shake, i stumble words or cant think of a thing to say, it isn't attractive but I have learned to internalise all that anxious behavior and be the first one to get things going. Its hard work for me but worth the effort in the end.

N xxx
 
Reactions: Therapon, Deleted member 3657 and johndoc01

DiamondJoe

4 July 2017
4,745
2,654
City
Glastonbury
I was about 25 when it clicked for me.

Had a realisation that, chances are, the other person is just as nervous or insecure about their body and if you concentrate on making the other person relax it all flows much easier
 

MOTM

Pearls

18 July 2015
55,117
121,117
DiamondJoe said:
I was about 25 when it clicked for me.

Had a realisation that, chances are, the other person is just as nervous or insecure about their body and if you concentrate on making the other person relax it all flows much easier
Click to expand...
 
Reactions: Admin
D

Deleted member 3175

I'm quite a confident person in RL but when it comes to meeting new people, flirting and being "sexy" on here I find it difficult. Having only met a few I can't really comment, hoping that all the chats and banter on here with all these sexy buggers helps when we can eventually come to a meet.
S xxxx
 
Reactions: Pearls
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