Newbie Advice - Pms Chat - General Interactions

[Sammy]

Hi everyone
So as a newbie and total rookie here - day 3

Firstly a huge thanks to everyone for the fab welcome and making me feel right at home

So my question is

I would like to ask others opinion of what is acceptable behaviour and language in initial approaches in both the chat rooms and pm's ,

So as a first time visitor to a site like this and I am just trying to understand the "norm"

So example - I've been chatting to one guy, chatty intelligent witty cheeky funny flirty polite

However I can't say this has been my experience with all
Some I would question the genuine interest in site or meeting like minded people

So any advice tips hints I'm all ears

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Hi everyone
So as a newbie and total rookie here - day 3

Firstly a huge thanks to everyone for the fab welcome and making me feel right at home

So my question is

I would like to ask others opinion of what is acceptable behaviour and language in initial approaches in both the chat rooms and pm's ,

So as a first time visitor to a site like this and I am just trying to understand the "norm"

So example - I've been chatting to one guy, chatty intelligent witty cheeky funny flirty polite

However I can't say this has been my experience with all
Some I would question the genuine interest in site or meeting like minded people

So any advice tips hints I'm all ears

Indeed, this has been widely debated and one thread about this can be found here;
The way/way not to introduce yourself in a message

General rule of thumb, be polite, friendly, respectful and non-assuming.
Sending unsolicited dick pics will get a warning/ban so if you get them you must report them as it's not tolerated.
But that aside, people should just speak to people and approach people as they would in RL, with manners courtesy and respect.

However I can't say this has been my experience with all

Any problems which are offensive or troublesome, you should report as bad or offensive behaviour isn't tolerated and by reporting it the offender can be dealt with and thus prevented from doing it to someone else.
x

 

[Sammy]

Indeed, this has been widely debated and one thread about this can be found here;
The way/way not to introduce yourself in a message

General rule of thumb, be polite, friendly, respectful and non-assuming.
Sending unsolicited dick pics will get a warning/ban so if you get them you must report them as it's not tolerated.
But that aside, people should just speak to people and approach people as they would in RL, with manners courtesy and respect.


Any problems which are offensive or troublesome, you should report as bad or offensive behaviour isn't tolerated and by reporting it the offender can be dealt with and thus prevented from doing it to someone else.
x

Oh thanks so much that clears up a couple of things already
Thanks for the link
Appreciate your feedback

 

[Sammy]

Oh

Damm my post disappeared

 

[Admin]

Damm my post disappeared

I've fixed it for you. x

I've had a few problems with the type of bloke who comes on site looking for a quick shag... I've taken to not responding if they do not engage in reasonable conversation. I've also recently set it up so only people I follow can initiate private messages. It's been a lot better since then.
It is entirely reasonable to expect people to be polite and respectful and you don't have to put up with it if they are not. If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable report and block! I've found that when i have felt uncomfortable and I have spoken to @Admin or @Pearls that they have agreed that someone is being unreasonable - follow your gut instincts x

Extremely sound advice. Fortunately we don't get many muppets but when they do come on, the whole site seems to feel it.
x

 

[Sammy]

I've had a few problems with the type of bloke who comes on site looking for a quick shag... I've taken to not responding if they do not engage in reasonable conversation. I've also recently set it up so only people I follow can initiate private messages. It's been a lot better since then.
It is entirely reasonable to expect people to be polite and respectful and you don't have to put up with it if they are not. If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable report and block! I've found that when i have felt uncomfortable and I have spoken to @Admin or @Pearls that they have agreed that someone is being unreasonable - follow your gut instincts x

Thanks Miss Cinnamon for the advice - one I will certainly follow

Yip it's - Hi wanna fuck or here's my dick -here's my number ( please excuse the wording)in pms or in chat
Just checking the social norms and boundaries

Thanks again

 

[Admin]

Yip it's - Hi wanna fuck or here's my dick -here's my number ( please excuse the wording)in pms or in chat
Just checking the social norms and boundaries

And these are the ones we will act on. So if you get them (it is unusual to be fair, but does happen) please report it so we're aware of potential troublemakers. x

 

[Sammy]

I've fixed it for you. x


Extremely sound advice. Fortunately we don't get many muppets but when they do come on, the whole site seems to feel it.
x

i thought it was me and certainly didn't want to appear I was criticising hence the question

 

[Deleted member 1030]

I've always thought of community sites, like this one, as a sort of local pub - this one is one where you can talk about, say, anal sex or whatever.
If you move into an area and find a local that you like, you would say hello to people, in a general sort of way, or you might introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Now, knowing what sort of conversations are acceptable in a general round-the-table chat (i.e. the forums) is one thing. Knowing how to initiate a one-to-one with someone is, of course, trickier.... But I'm sure you've managed that in the past. "Can i buy you a drink?", "I like your dress", "Hi, I'm Sammy, I'm new around here" etc.
You wouldn't start, for example, with "do you like blow jobs?" would you?
So, there is no etiquette, as such, just being yourself and saying hello to people, as you would in the local. Sometimes you won't get a conversation, most times you will. Sometimes that conversation leads on to other things

 

[Sammy]

And these are the ones we will act on. So if you get them (it is unusual to be fair, but does happen) please report it so we're aware of potential troublemakers. x

Thanks for the clarity and advice

 

[Admin]

i thought it was me and certainly didn't want to appear I was criticising hence the question

Okay without wanting to clutter up your thread, we already have a PM on the go so anything you feel needs to be brought to my attention, please use that okay lovely? x

I've always thought of community sites, like this one, as a sort of local pub - this one is one where you can talk about, say, anal sex or whatever.
If you move into an area and find a local that you like, you would say hello to people, in a general sort of way, or you might introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Now, knowing what sort of conversations are acceptable in a general round-the-table chat (i.e. the forums) is one thing. Knowing how to initiate a one-to-one with someone is, of course, trickier.... But I'm sure you've managed that in the past. "Can i buy you a drink?", "I like your dress", "Hi, I'm Sammy, I'm new around here" etc.
You wouldn't start, for example, with "do you like blow jobs?" would you?
So, there is no etiquette, as such, just being yourself and saying hello to people, as you would in the local. Sometimes you won't get a conversation, most times you will. Sometimes that conversation leads on to other things

Spot on as usual.

Thanks for the clarity and advice

You're most welcome. x

 

[Sammy]

I've always thought of community sites, like this one, as a sort of local pub - this one is one where you can talk about, say, anal sex or whatever.
If you move into an area and find a local that you like, you would say hello to people, in a general sort of way, or you might introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Now, knowing what sort of conversations are acceptable in a general round-the-table chat (i.e. the forums) is one thing. Knowing how to initiate a one-to-one with someone is, of course, trickier.... But I'm sure you've managed that in the past. "Can i buy you a drink?", "I like your dress", "Hi, I'm Sammy, I'm new around here" etc.
You wouldn't start, for example, with "do you like blow jobs?" would you?
So, there is no etiquette, as such, just being yourself and saying hello to people, as you would in the local. Sometimes you won't get a conversation, most times you will. Sometimes that conversation leads on to other things

Thanks this is a great description and makes a lot of sense

Totally get the concept!

Thanks for taking time to answer

 

[Deleted member 1030]

Thanks this is a great description and makes a lot of sense

Totally get the concept!

Thanks for taking time to answer

You're very welcome x

 

[Therapon]

I appreciate this is not a direct answer to your question but as we have said many times, we expect our members to show respect whether on a post, a PM or in chat. Disrespect isn't tolerated here and if anyone has any problems please report them, if we don't know about it we can't help. And please remember whilst you may be able to ignore a problem others may not be able to deal with things as well as you so don't just ignore things, lets us know.

 

[Sammy]

I appreciate this is not a direct answer to your question but as we have said many times, we expect our members to show respect whether on a post, a PM or in chat. Disrespect isn't tolerated here and if anyone has any problems please report them, if we don't know about it we can't help. And please remember whilst you may be able to ignore a problem others may not be able to deal with things as well as you so don't just ignore things, lets us know.

Thanks , I absolutely understand your point and in future will happily pass on

 

[meet_the_fockers]

I would certainly, refrain from messaging/contacting someone, whom i hadn't interacted with either on their profile or in the forums.
I rarely message if I am honest, unless its someone i know well or have an ongoing conversation with, mainly no time.
I do message frequently re any issues on site, or if i find a member, having a problem both onsite, or in the real world.
I do get the usual.. you ok babe, what you up to babe if its a site matter. I have a duty to answer..
If not and their messages are pushy, rude, disrespectful.. they usually do get an answer, not perhaps the one they where hoping for, and don't usually message again .
As a member all i can say is don't feel pressurised, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, say so.. "sorry i don't think thats appropiate" er no thankyou..
If they are persistent.. report.. let staff deal with it.. which of course it certainly will be..
Unfollow? If youre following?
Block.
Use your album preferences..
Just because its a swinging site doesn't make it acceptable to harrass members or treat them in any other way to how they would be treated in the "normal" walks of life..
It is also actually illegal.. to send genitalia pics without the consent of the recipient..
Good Luck huni.. just rely on your gut it is seldom wrong.. womens intuition.. n'all that.

Now then....
What you wearing xxx

 

[Sammy]

Thanks for taking the time to answer

I will definitely take yer advice on board

Didn't know about album preferences

But I well able to hold my own lol so no worries there

Always use my gut n spiddy sense and they are not usually wrong

As I said just wanting to clarify what I presumed already


Oh what an I wearing ........
That old one lol

Thank you again
Sx

 

[meet_the_fockers]

Thanks for taking the time to answer

I will definitely take yer advice on board

Didn't know about album preferences

But I well able to hold my own lol so no worries there

Always use my gut n spiddy sense and they are not usually wrong

As I said just wanting to clarify what I presumed already


Oh what an I wearing ........
That old one lol

Thank you again
Sx

Lol so you not going to tell me then? lol..
Good luck ai you seem a savi lady.. x

 

[Sammy]

Lol so you not going to tell me then? lol..
Good luck ai you seem a savi lady.. x

Oh well if you must .... nothing he he he ... joke

Yeah perfectly capable most of time lol. !!! When I don't have a Ditzy moment or let my mouth run away with itself

 

[Sammy]

Knee length ankle socks
Humpty backed waistcoat
Blue suede sunglasses
And a mankini

Holy moly
Rocking here in the corner traumatised even just thinking about that

 

[meet_the_fockers]

Oh well if you must .... nothing he he he ... joke

Yeah perfectly capable most of time lol. !!! When I don't have a Ditzy moment or let my mouth run away with itself

Welcome to my world.. i have a poty mouth on occasion..

 

[meet_the_fockers]

Knee length ankle socks
Humpty backed waistcoat
Blue suede sunglasses
And a mankini

How do you know what shes wearing? Dirty dawg!!

 

[Sammy]

How do you know what shes wearing? Dirty dawg!!

Shhhhhh you were not suppose to twig lol

 

[meet_the_fockers]

Shhhhhh you were not suppose to twig lol

sorry..

 

[meet_the_fockers]

You do know Sammy and I are a couple ? Xx

Whats that got to do with the slice of bread? And you are?
God bless her!