Shout Out To All The Dominant Women. (where Are You?)

[Deleted member 4901]

It's something I've been looking for since I started my journey. I've met one or two but I've never been approached to organise anything. So I wondered what I'm doing wrong. As a sub I'm terrible at approaching people and expressing my desires. I get nervous and tongue tied in social situations. Drink helps.

So ladies. For the men who want to be at your command, say hi and let's discuss.

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

It's something I've been looking for since I started my journey. I've met one or two but I've never been approached to organise anything. So I wondered what I'm doing wrong. As a sub I'm terrible at approaching people and expressing my desires. I get nervous and tongue tied in social situations. Drink helps.

So ladies. For the men who want to be at your command, say hi and let's discuss.

im very much the dominant

 

[Deleted member 4901]

im very much the dominant

*trembles a little. Giggles nervously and wonders where to look.

I get that from you. I just never know how to approach people. Even on fetlife I feel I'm being judged as "not really serious."

I've had so much interest from men who are tops. One guy even told me I wasn't bisexual I was gay and in denial. I'm really not complaining about it just surprised I'm not getting approached as much as I thought I would. Is it because my experience and interests are so broad?

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Its entirely your choice hunni you are what you want to be and yes id agree maybe your experiance is scary to some I know ive scared a fair few with what I like and dont like bit lol I live being in charge especially in play

 

[Deleted member 4901]

I hate being in charge. I love being given commands. Being controlled. Being dominated. The lack of responsibility calms me down so much. Helps me to enjoy the experience.

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

It helps if the trust is there between dom and sub makes it so much more enjoyable for all x

 

[Deleted member 4901]

Yes. That takes time.
And a lot of prior discussion. The rules have to be established and agreed.

 

[Miss-Sexy-Legs]

Yes. That takes time.
And a lot of prior discussion. The rules have to be established and agreed.

Haha my rules in his case

 

[meet_the_fockers]

It helps if the trust is there between dom and sub makes it so much more enjoyable for all x

^^^^ this.

 

[meet_the_fockers]

^^^^ this.

Trust it absolutley has to be there, and trust has to be built up through time.

 

[Therapon]

^^^^ this.

Exactly

 

[Deleted member 4901]

Haha my rules in his case

In Sub mode you place yourself in the others complete control. (We'll I do.) I have no resistance to anything I'm told to do or is done to me. Had one scary moment but it started a discussion which actually made things better.

 

[meet_the_fockers]

I am a switch.. dependant on mood and partner..
I air on the side of a dom.. i cant really label my sexuality.. i jump from box to box. Although i do tend to air on the side of Domme.
With a lady i definately dominate, but on the soft side... i call it spoiling..
With mr F its a battle which is fun.
I have dominated a lot of tvs in clubs.. and kept one on a lead..and thrashed them simply.. because it was their fantasy.. did i enjoy it? Damn right i did.. empowering.. but i do have to be in the mindset..

 

[meet_the_fockers]

In Sub mode you place yourself in the others complete control. (We'll I do.) I have no resistance to anything I'm told to do or is done to me. Had one scary moment but it started a discussion which actually made things better.

Openess honesty.. i cant understand someone wanting to sit at my feet all night on a lead?.. but for him it was the ultimate pleasure.. i enjoyed, seeing him taking so much pleasure from something that to me was so simple. X

 

[Therapon]

It's something I've been looking for since I started my journey. I've met one or two but I've never been approached to organise anything. So I wondered what I'm doing wrong. As a sub I'm terrible at approaching people and expressing my desires. I get nervous and tongue tied in social situations. Drink helps.

So ladies. For the men who want to be at your command, say hi and let's discuss.

I dont think you are doing anything wrong its more that you need to make your preferences known. I think from memory you said you attend munches so that is one way to get yourself known. There are some genuine dominants on the dark site. I know what you mean, being a sub its not easy to approach a dominant, have you thought of asking an intermediary at a munch to ask around for you. What about clubs, for instance I know Townhouse do BDSM events. I was in a similar situation but luckily my domme realised I was a sub and it went from there. So dont worry about it just get yourself known and a genuine dominant will find you if they are intetested.

 

[meet_the_fockers]

I dont think you are doing anything wrong its more that you need to make your preferences known. I think from memory you said you attend munches so that is one way to get yourself known. There are some genuine dominants on the dark site. I know what you mean, being a sub its not easy to approach a dominant, have you thought of asking an intermediary at a munch to ask around for you. What about clubs, for instance I know Townhouse do BDSM events. I was in a similar situation but luckily my domme realised I was a sub and it went from there. So dont worry about it just get yourself known and a genuine dominant will find you if they are intetested.

Good adivice, you could do worse than speaking with @Therapon.. i only know of one true domme on here alas hes not about very much.. xx

 

[Deleted member 4901]

I dont think you are doing anything wrong its more that you need to make your preferences known. I think from memory you said you attend munches so that is one way to get yourself known. There are some genuine dominants on the dark site. I know what you mean, being a sub its not easy to approach a dominant, have you thought of asking an intermediary at a munch to ask around for you. What about clubs, for instance I know Townhouse do BDSM events. I was in a similar situation but luckily my domme realised I was a sub and it went from there. So dont worry about it just get yourself known and a genuine dominant will find you if they are intetested.

Thank you @Therapon. I think perhaps I will attempt to be more visible. It's conversations like this that take away the uncertainty of it all.

Who knows? Perhaps this is an attempt to make myself more visible.

 

[Therapon]

Thank you @Therapon. I think perhaps I will attempt to be more visible. It's conversations like this that take away the uncertainty of it all.

Who knows? Perhaps this is an attempt to make myself more visible.

It is. You have asked the question and openly admitted what you are looking for. Good luck.

 

[Jenny79]

I'm very submissive too but I do have a dominant streak but it has to be with the right person discussion and willingness to try new things iv found are essential but also sometimes compromises are needed good luck xx