MOTM
Swinging And Open Marriage
- Thread starter Pearls
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From my experience of both (I’ve two couples who are friends with open marriages…) the biggest difference is that while each knows the other is having sex with other people, that’s as far as it goes; it doesn’t form part of their own sex lives, in respect of details.
N & A are in an open marriage. N knows A has sex with various others, and might even know when, but not necessarily who with, or what they do, precisely.
It’s in addition to, but very much not part of, any sex life they have between them.
N & A are in an open marriage. N knows A has sex with various others, and might even know when, but not necessarily who with, or what they do, precisely.
It’s in addition to, but very much not part of, any sex life they have between them.
I think at @fincon summed it up.
Surely swinging is something you do together as a couple and an open marriage is either of you having sex with whoever either of you want.
X
Surely swinging is something you do together as a couple and an open marriage is either of you having sex with whoever either of you want.
X
We are dedicated swingers but draw the line at that point. An open marrage is not a direction we would want to go in
Again, I’ve no personal experience of an open marriage (though I’ve occasionally wondered in the past whether it would have been a good idea, given my own history…) only by knowing of, and witnessing, friends’ experience.
However, not all swingers only swing as a couple exlusively. But yes, couples’ swinging tends to involve both partners at least most of the time.
Another difference might be that couples are far more open in ‘real life’ to being public about being in an open marriage these days, whereas swinging is still mainly kept on the q.t.
S
Sammy
Like swinging , open marriage had different variations of openness
In my experience some people have total freedom to see who they want when they want
Some spouses will be more defined about what's acceptable and what's not
E.g. Women only
Done couples share details others don't
In swinging couple swing together
Some swing separately
Again in swinging some have very defined what's allowed n not
While others will swing with one couple or one swingle
Others swingle with exclusive couple
While others are open to everyone
There's variations in everything we do and in all walks of life
Again what's right for one won't be right for another
Ultimately once they are happy that's all that matters l
Sx
In my experience some people have total freedom to see who they want when they want
Some spouses will be more defined about what's acceptable and what's not
E.g. Women only
Done couples share details others don't
In swinging couple swing together
Some swing separately
Again in swinging some have very defined what's allowed n not
While others will swing with one couple or one swingle
Others swingle with exclusive couple
While others are open to everyone
There's variations in everything we do and in all walks of life
Again what's right for one won't be right for another
Ultimately once they are happy that's all that matters l
Sx
If we kept saying things like this to every discussion, there'd be nothing to discuss - ever. x
S
Sammy
Surely once people are happy within their own situation and circumstances that's all that matters
We might not like what they do
We may dislike or even strongly disapprove
Who are we to judge
Yes we can all have opinions
But until you walk in someone shoes do we truly know
I'm sure within your relationship there's things that are vital and important
But actually to others my seen silly or even nonsensical- Equally that is the same for me within my relationships
But of course I love a good debate
Sx
I think you missed my point. 
If we always said; surely all that matters is that people are happy or that people are comfy in their own skin or that there should be no labels etc etc etc and on and on - there would never be any discussion of any kind to ever discuss on here.
It's not about this;
Know what I mean?
x
If we always said; surely all that matters is that people are happy or that people are comfy in their own skin or that there should be no labels etc etc etc and on and on - there would never be any discussion of any kind to ever discuss on here.
It's not about this;
Because if it was, then there'd never be any reason to ever discuss anything ever on here, ever again - would there.
Know what I mean?
x
S
Sammy
Anyway, in relation to the OP, I'd go with this. An open marriage is not the same as swinging. Swinging is something a married couple do together for fun, together, for extra sexual fun between them.
An open marriage is the opposite of that where either one of the couple have sex with strangers outside of their marriage for their own personal sexual gratification - maybe because they're missing something from within the marriage or perhaps they just like sexual freedoms. There's a plethora of reasons I should imagine, but the two are vastly different.
It's like meeting alone when in a marriage or partnership, in swinging - not something I would do and I personally don't class that as swinging either.
Btw all this is in my personal opinion and my personal point of view only.
Don't think so rigidly; there's more overlap and commonality between the two than there are difference.
We straddle both camps.
We began as swingers but soon came across the fundamental problem of finding couples who are on the same page, attractive to both of us, and devoid of 'issues'. We've found a few, but only a few.
Then there's the problem of singles; we have several unicorns we play with both jointly and severally, which is great, but we're not both bisexual so it can get a bit asymmetric and, as we both like to play, could get uneven.
Then there's the issue of babysitting. Sounds trivial but if you don't have family around I assure you it isn't. The number of dates we've had to skip or cut short due to flakey sitters doesn't bear thinking about!
Solution; play separately, which we now do about as often as together, and probably makes our marriage 'open.
We both have our own paramours (and some we share) and it saves all the grief. We don't do the hotwife or cuckold 'things', which are just a bit lame, and we don't 'dadt' which is frankly silly.
Neither of us feels we're missing out at home; we just like variety, and dislike rules....
...and labels.
We straddle both camps.
We began as swingers but soon came across the fundamental problem of finding couples who are on the same page, attractive to both of us, and devoid of 'issues'. We've found a few, but only a few.
Then there's the problem of singles; we have several unicorns we play with both jointly and severally, which is great, but we're not both bisexual so it can get a bit asymmetric and, as we both like to play, could get uneven.
Then there's the issue of babysitting. Sounds trivial but if you don't have family around I assure you it isn't. The number of dates we've had to skip or cut short due to flakey sitters doesn't bear thinking about!
Solution; play separately, which we now do about as often as together, and probably makes our marriage 'open.
We both have our own paramours (and some we share) and it saves all the grief. We don't do the hotwife or cuckold 'things', which are just a bit lame, and we don't 'dadt' which is frankly silly.
Neither of us feels we're missing out at home; we just like variety, and dislike rules....
...and labels.
S
Sammy
We’re both aware of how you choose to live this lifestyle, through meeting you and chatting.. but I have to say that this is a very interesting post Captain. Thank you for sharing.
MOTM
I take my hat off to you both, something I couldn't even think about, I am trying to picture @Lips_Pearls reaction if I waved him off on the door to go have a meet with someone, whilst he stayed at home with the children or vice versa
D
Deleted member 3411
@Captain-Smith-and-Lady-Jane, must admit I can understand why some couples branch out, sadly one scenario that's far too common is the one where she's wanted but he isn't. I think many a woman misses out because she's loyal. That said loyalty is more important. Is great to have a relationship so strong spending time away with another or others is zero threat to that bond.
MOTM