We Champion Equality

Deleted member 3411 · 15 April 2019

Just had to pop in and post this. I've always thought swinging promotes equality. Think about it this lifestyle isn't male dominated or structured around male wishes and demands. Outside things are still chauvinist even in places where it appears to be very PC. In Facebook I saw this morning a repeat 'memory' as they call it, a posting I placed there 7 years ago.

While watching the Aviva Premiership Rugby highlights just now I saw an advert for ‘Cougar.Com’, a site to quote the add “Where mature women can look to date young men”. Do I take it the people responsible have an ‘opposite sex’ version called ‘Dirty old man.Com’?? where mature men can go to pick up young girls??

Now I should point out I would NOT post such a thing in fb these days, and I would also like to explain better what I meant in that post. My point was the only reason such a site can advertise was because it was women looking for younger men (or for a good time) but men doing the same is seen as bad, sick, depraved. NOTE: I am not advocating bad actions I'm talking concential between those of age. But still society has issues, whereas we here at LEAST have an open mind. Oh! And my reason for writting all this? Because even though FB put it up on my home page underneath it stayed that "this post has been closed and can only be seen by you due to content". So you see advertising Cougar.com is ok and pc but pointing out the idea that a site for women looking for young men is not good if you see a similar one for men as bad is a wrong and needs censoring. Just to make sure you all understand me. I like ladies, and age is not as such an issue for me, I am not INTO younger ok, I just see a need for open minded thinking. Oh and cougars? If concential and good it's ok, my point is the world still has a warped view of what is ok and what isn't.
I don't mind if some of you think I'm wrong, I'm just promoting debate on this. If need be read what I'd posted again. Why is it we see an add for cougar dot com as ok, but if it was Daddy dot com "where mature men can meet younger women" as very wrong? Surely in an equal works either are both ok, or both wrong.

Stew · 15 April 2019

SteLinda said:
Just had to pop in and post this. I've always thought swinging promotes equality. Think about it this lifestyle isn't male dominated or structured around male wishes and demands. Outside things are still chauvinist even in places where it appears to be very PC. In Facebook I saw this morning a repeat 'memory' as they call it, a posting I placed there 7 years ago.

While watching the Aviva Premiership Rugby highlights just now I saw an advert for ‘Cougar.Com’, a site to quote the add “Where mature women can look to date young men”. Do I take it the people responsible have an ‘opposite sex’ version called ‘Dirty old man.Com’?? where mature men can go to pick up young girls??

Now I should point out I would NOT post such a thing in fb these days, and I would also like to explain better what I meant in that post. My point was the only reason such a site can advertise was because it was women looking for younger men (or for a good time) but men doing the same is seen as bad, sick, depraved. NOTE: I am not advocating bad actions I'm talking concential between those of age. But still society has issues, whereas we here at LEAST have an open mind. Oh! And my reason for writting all this? Because even though FB put it up on my home page underneath it stayed that "this post has been closed and can only be seen by you due to content". So you see advertising Cougar.com is ok and pc but pointing out the idea that a site for women looking for young men is not good if you see a similar one for men as bad is a wrong and needs censoring. Just to make sure you all understand me. I like ladies, and age is not as such an issue for me, I am not INTO younger ok, I just see a need for open minded thinking. Oh and cougars? If concential and good it's ok, my point is the world still has a warped view of what is ok and what isn't.
I don't mind if some of you think I'm wrong, I'm just promoting debate on this. If need be read what I'd posted again. Why is it we see an add for cougar dot com as ok, but if it was Daddy dot com "where mature men can meet younger women" as very wrong? Surely in an equal works either are both ok, or both wrong.

Excellent post and very valid points well put !

fincon · 15 April 2019

SteLinda said:
Just had to pop in and post this. I've always thought swinging promotes equality. Think about it this lifestyle isn't male dominated or structured around male wishes and demands. Outside things are still chauvinist even in places where it appears to be very PC. In Facebook I saw this morning a repeat 'memory' as they call it, a posting I placed there 7 years ago.

While watching the Aviva Premiership Rugby highlights just now I saw an advert for ‘Cougar.Com’, a site to quote the add “Where mature women can look to date young men”. Do I take it the people responsible have an ‘opposite sex’ version called ‘Dirty old man.Com’?? where mature men can go to pick up young girls??

Now I should point out I would NOT post such a thing in fb these days, and I would also like to explain better what I meant in that post. My point was the only reason such a site can advertise was because it was women looking for younger men (or for a good time) but men doing the same is seen as bad, sick, depraved. NOTE: I am not advocating bad actions I'm talking concential between those of age. But still society has issues, whereas we here at LEAST have an open mind. Oh! And my reason for writting all this? Because even though FB put it up on my home page underneath it stayed that "this post has been closed and can only be seen by you due to content". So you see advertising Cougar.com is ok and pc but pointing out the idea that a site for women looking for young men is not good if you see a similar one for men as bad is a wrong and needs censoring. Just to make sure you all understand me. I like ladies, and age is not as such an issue for me, I am not INTO younger ok, I just see a need for open minded thinking. Oh and cougars? If concential and good it's ok, my point is the world still has a warped view of what is ok and what isn't.
I don't mind if some of you think I'm wrong, I'm just promoting debate on this. If need be read what I'd posted again. Why is it we see an add for cougar dot com as ok, but if it was Daddy dot com "where mature men can meet younger women" as very wrong? Surely in an equal works either are both ok, or both wrong.

There’s always been an implied power differential between an older man/much younger woman that’s never been implied (correctly or otherwise) with the reverse.

Deleted member 11094 · 15 April 2019

If you look at the attitude of the general population, there is ageism on both sides. People frown at large age gaps between men and women, and age gaps in LGBTQ+ relationships too. And I agree that there is a judgemental attitude towards older men.

Stew · 15 April 2019

WolfieGray said:
And I agree that there is a judgemental attitude towards older men.

Me too

Deleted member 11852 · 15 April 2019

I agree it is more frowned upon for an older guy to be with a younger woman, but it does happen the other way around. Hubby is quite a bit younger than myself and my family hated it, in fact they give us 6 months. Nearly 22yrs later we are still going strong and he has helped make me the woman I am today. Age shouldn’t matter in a relationship but unfortunately for some people it does. xxx M

StokeChoke · 15 April 2019

Personally I think age is just a number and if 2 people are happy together what does any age gap have to do with it

An answer to the original post..... secretbenefits.com is for older guys looking for young ladies so I’ve been told

fincon · 15 April 2019

StokeChoke said:
Personally I think age is just a number and if 2 people are happy together what does any age gap have to do with it

As.I did respond to one very young lady who made a genuine pass at me about five years ago, ‘yes, age is just a number, but when one number’s three times the other…’

(Not kidding; I was almost 50, she was barely legal (!) )

When I have been involved with much younger women, which has occurred on occasion, the biggest ‘huh?’ moments have always come from the differing cultural references; bands she liked that I’d barely heard of, tv shows I watched at uni… when she was still in nappies.

Stesnaughtyangel · 15 April 2019

In my line of work people seem to think that my chatting attitude towards the older gentleman is flirty. I think that age has no place in this day and age. I work in optical and audiology so I feel that rather than the age be an issue more that the fact is that most older gentleman have had no contact with the outside world for one reason or another.
However I threat everyone the same yet I don’t find half as many comments made towards how I am with the older lady’s.
In terms of a relationship what’s age anyway- over legal age and consent is given what’s it matter. If all parties are happy consenting when play on.
I dislike these labels of toy boys & cougars sugar daddies- who cares.
Play on play safe and enjoy xxxx

Stesnaughtyangel · 15 April 2019

Stesnaughtyangel said:
In my line of work people seem to think that my chatting attitude towards the older gentleman is flirty. I think that age has no place in this day and age. I work in optical and audiology so I feel that rather than the age be an issue more that the fact is that most older gentleman have had no contact with the outside world for one reason or another.
However I threat everyone the same yet I don’t find half as many comments made towards how I am with the older lady’s.
In terms of a relationship what’s age anyway- over legal age and consent is given what’s it matter. If all parties are happy consenting when play on.
I dislike these labels of toy boys & cougars sugar daddies- who cares.
Play on play safe and enjoy xxxx

*treat spelling mistakes

fincon · 15 April 2019

Stesnaughtyangel said:
sugar daddies

I think that’s an entirely different thing, though?

Relationships, or even casual sex, between May-December (as they used to be called) are surely very different from the sugar daddy/momma thing where it’s inherently understood from both sides that the younger person is getting rewarded in cash and/or lifestyle specifically for their sexual availability.

Pearls · 16 April 2019

Sadly the phrase “dirty old man” has been following us around for many moons.
We don’t tend to have the phrase “dirty old woman”
I think this has something to do with things. Just a thought or you could shoot me down in flames

Deleted member 3411 · 16 April 2019

Pearls said:
Sadly the phrase “dirty old man” has been following us around for many moons.
We don’t tend to have the phrase “dirty old woman”
I think this has something to do with things. Just a thought or you could shoot me down in flames

Never... but that's in a way my point. For me the acid test for what is ok what not, is how does it look if you flip the genders? Works for many gender orientated issues.
As you can tell I'm big on equality.

Deleted member 11094 · 16 April 2019

I think the title champion for equality is misleading, this post isn't about equality it is about your own view on adverts:
As you're talking about a post 7 years ago things might have changed a lot. I personally see all different kinds of adverts, but if you're talking about the attitude towards these adverts then maybe you have a point, lots of people feel more comfortable with certain adverts over others, but it doesn't mean there are less of one and more of the other being shown.

There are adverts for the other side of things, but as with all advertising it is dependent on the channel. As each advert is for the target audience. Websites included, and things are personalised based on the person's browsing and such.

Sex sells, I have seen advertisements for cougar sites and sugar daddy sites, there are so many websites out there now. I see more sugar daddy ones around than cougar, doesn't mean there are less of either. It is dependent on what I am watching and where, what channels and such. Both are there because of demand.

So there are older men who like younger women, and older women who like younger men, and the younger people who like older people, and this is okay. There are sites where people can enjoy themselves and find what they are looking for. If it's consensual, legal age, and safe, that's all that matters. Legal age being important here as the younger a person is the easier it is for them to be taken advantage of, and there are so many people out there who abuse this power. That's why many folks are often cautious.

Pearls · 16 April 2019

SteLinda said:
Never... but that's in a way my point. For me the acid test for what is ok what not, is how does it look if you flip the genders? Works for many gender orientated issues.
As you can tell I'm big on equality.

Sadly guys haven’t done themselves any favours and I see your points. When I see on social media guys all over young girls, this certainly out ways the older ladies with younger guys. It’s sad but very prevelant. X

Deleted member 3411 · 16 April 2019

@WolfieGray oh! I in no way think of myself as a Champion for equality, just that I try to live equality as much as I can not just give it lip service then carry on as before.
But you're right, things have changed in 7 years, part if why I posted this. I might be wrong but I think Daddies . Com et al weren't even around then. But I stand by my statement that Vanilas outside have (to me) a less understanding view of equality or still live in a more split version of life than we do. Another example of this is that society still expects men to approach a woman he fancies but NOT the other way around. I do believe the latest generation are breaking this code, but damn I LOVED it the first time at a club when a lady came up to me and expressed interest.

Pearls · 16 April 2019

WolfieGray said:
and there are so many people out there who abuse this power.

So true

Miss-Sexy-Legs · 16 April 2019

Talking of older women we actually witnessed a very much older lady out with another lady and 2 young men , 1 of whom quite happily announced he was 23 yrs old ,and after much canoodling halfway through the evening he fell asleep on her chest .
we were both intriged yet a tad embarressed as the pub wasnt that busy

Therapon · 16 April 2019

Interesting thread but I am not sure that this is really about equality, to me it appears that the "problem" here is more to do with peoples attitudes and moral stance on couples where there is a large age difference between them.
Then there is always the question of older people of either sex coercing youngsters into sex. That is unacceptable but is it unacceptable if there is a genuine love between two people when there is a large age differential?
A few of the posts seem to agree that a large age gap is acceptable but would they say the same if thier young son or daughter were involved in such a relationship?
As @Miss-Sexy-Legs said, we were out last night and by chance it just so happened that there were two cougars in the pub with their young males. Whilst it was obvious that there was nothing illegal in the liasons we both felt slight uncomfortable about them and which was why I started this post by saying that I don't see this an a question about equality, it's more I believe to do with public acceptance.

fincon · 17 April 2019

I first came across the following a couple of decades ago, back in the days of CompuServe (for anyone who remembers that), the Internet ‘rule’ of how young your significant other is ‘allowed’ to be.

What they meant, of course, wasn’t ‘allowed’ but ‘before people will raise an eyebrow or two’. And on that - the eyebrow raising thing - I’ve come to appreciate its accuracy as I’ve gotten older.

The rule: half your age plus seven years.

So, if you’re 20, half your age plus seven = 17
If you’re 30, half your age plus seven = 22

I’m 54. If I was seeing someone in their mid-40s, no one would query it. Nor if they were in their mid-30s.

But if the young lady was 22? yeah, people would be… surprised. At best.

So not ‘not allowed’, but… unusual…

Vanezza · 17 April 2019

Age is only a number and the way i see it is if it works then it works. I am slightly older than Neil, about two months older and I can say hand on heart he really enjoys the two months gap and enjoys having a cougar for a couple of months

Vxxx

Tiger · 17 April 2019

Vanezza said:
Age is only a number and the way i see it is if it works then it works. I am slightly older than Neil, about two months older and I can say hand on heart he really enjoys the two months gap and enjoys having a cougar for a couple of months

Vxxx

Go you

Tiger x

Deleted member 3411 · 17 April 2019

I woild like to say thanks to all for your replies, but perhaps i should clarify something.
My point was not so much age gap, more the possible inequality of thought in the vanilla world towards slightly less vanilla activity. The fact (as I saw it 7 years ago) that an advert or even the idea of older woman dating much younger guys would bring comments (from most) of "good for her" or "woo hoo go for it girl" but reversed the majority woukd say "dirty old ####" for me is terribly inequality.
I find that we as a social group in swinging do not as such have this view and therefore are far more fair minded. @Therapon I get your point and there in lies MY point. You felt uncomfortable due to the age gap alone not because of the genders. For what it's worth L and I do not actively LOOK for those over an age and most definately do not look for younger, but if someone under our age wish (or over) proves attractive and interested we won't pass them by.
We believe in ATTRACTION and fun, age, gender (for L), colour, size, none of that matters. I think swingers are far less bigoted or closed minded.

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