What Is Bdsm ?

[Admin]

In the most basic form BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/ Dominance & Submission/ Sado-Masochism) is all about the erotic and sexual acts and mind-sets of dominating and relinquishing control.

It explains that over the years BDSM has got a pretty bad rep, but the basic principles can be extremely liberating and in the long run if you engage with it, turn you on in a way that you would never even have thought about.

"The fact that the standard media representation of BDSM is of something seedy and silly and sometimes make it feel like a taboo," she explains.

"But if women take the reins it can actually increase their sexual confidence and sense of agency, while giving men a break from having to be 'on top', psychologically as well as literally which is the standard dynamic for most couples."

The trick is to have an open mind to sexuality, obviously anything which causes harm to your partner or yourself isn't good (well actually it's illegal) but we're all humans and exploring the parts that make us a little different is what can make a hugely beneficial relationship.

So if you're thinking you're into BDSM or want to explore it with your partner what's the next step?

 

[Admin]

Getting things started

So revealing to your partner that you want to explore BDSM might have you a little worried, but don't worry there's no need to be!

There's always ways of approaching things to play to your advantage...

let says: "Springing some hard-core moves on someone is the easiest way to put them off BDSM for life, so either have a heart to heart explaining what it is exactly you’d like to try or just try taking the sex play in the BDSM direction next time you hook up.

‘If you’re the one that fancies dominating, arranging yourself physically on top is a good start, followed be a ‘my turn to take the lead’ remark or similar.

A protestation at this stage means a discussion is necessary before you venture further. If you get the green light, keep checking in with your partner with a serious of erotic assertions - ‘so it turns you on when I press my hand over your mouth?’ for example."

Now you've tested the waters with your guy it's time to get serious. If you want to really get to grips with dominating your guy, it's time to have a look at those tips...

 

[Admin]

Me first

If you want to get your man to realise that you're in control in the bedroom there's no room to mess about. (Well a bit of laughter never hurt anyone, but stick to your guns.)

Lets says it's all about letting him know you're the one in charge.

"Start by telling him he’s not going to get what he wants until you do," she says. "Then demand he pleasure you with his fingers or tongue before he gets so much as a nail laid on him."

He'll be so turned on by your new found 'no nonsence naughtiness he'll do anything you want him to.

 

[Admin]

Play to his senses

We've all heard the fact that guys are pretty visual people right, so why not take that away from him and see what happens? Bet the reaction will surprise you.

Lets says: "Make him drop to his knees, blindfold him, and then walk around him in heels on a non-carpeted surface.

Lean in to trail your hands and/or hair about his body, or tease him with a filthy remark from time to time - all the while he's there blindfolded. The anticipation of your presence will be intoxicating."

The fact that's he's in such a submissive position, vunerable to your every whim will be so unusual he won't know what to do with himself - in a good way of course.

 

[Admin]

Knickers

This one might have you squirming at first but it's a dead-cert to send him into over-drive so bear with us.

To start : "Get him to remove your knickers; right before he slides them off down around your ankles lightly slap his hands away. Continue taking them off yourself and place them on his face with the crotch along his mouth and nose."

The trick with this one is a little preparation. The whole point is that guys love the smell of 'you' so working it with a clean pair - so to speak - just isn't going to do anything.

A few hours before you see him whip on your sexiest underwear and by the time you've done all these moves on him they'll be ready to roll.

Yep we know what you're thinking but just try it and see for yourself.

 

[Admin]

Fantasies

This one is about really opening him up to you and will be as much of a turn on for you as it will for him.

Lets says: "Get him to confess the last explicit fantasy he had about the pair of you while you slowly masturbate him.

Every time he hesitates over a detail take your hand off his cock and don't continue to masturbate him until he tells you what you want to hear!"

 

[Admin]

Spank him

Most girls get a casual spank from their partner from time to time but trying out spanking on your guy can be a bit of a shake-up.

"Sit in a straight-backed, armless chair and order him across your stocking-clad thighs for an old-fashioned hand-spanking," Place one hand on the back of his neck and slightly cup the other as you deliver slow firm strokes on the fleshiest part of his behind until he’s nicely Pink.

If you really want to take it to the next level: "Get him to count the strokes out loud and say ‘Thank you Mistress/Goddess' or any other superior term you see fit!"

 

[Admin]

Control him

A lot of times sex can be controlled by the guy - this is exactly what you want to get away from in this dynamic.

"Sit him on a chair and secure his hands behind his back with soft handcuffs (not the metal kind). Ride him like he’s your dildo and control his orgasm to suit you."

Seeing you have the time of your life purely from him will be mind-blowing.

 

[Admin]

It's all about you

Sitting on the edge of the bed or in a chair, have him give you a foot rub while you masturbate yourself.

Every time he falters because he’s distracted with what you’re doing, slide your foot under his balls and very gently kick upwards.

Warning: when We says 'gently' kick him in the balls she really means it. Getting carried away at this point could ruin the moment, if not your relationship , in quite a significant way.

 

[Admin]

Safety

Some BDSM activities may be potentially dangerous if proper precautions are neglected. One aspect to make sure safety is to agree upon a safe word. If the Dominant and submissive are in a scene that causes unacceptable discomfort for one or both, a safe word can be uttered to warn the Dominant of trouble and immediately call for a stop to the scene.

Adequate care is prudent in bondage to ensure safety from injury. For activities involving bodily fluids, hygienic precautions should be duly considered for avoiding the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

 

[Lace]

Just seen this and love the gentle kick of the balls...Hehe xxx

 

[riccarda]

excellent explanation of BDSM, must go and cool down now

 

[Pearls]

very good explanation and some interesting points xx

 

[Lovers_For_Life]

Very good.... And no mention of any Toys...! Yes, those toys, but also BDSM toys, like Pin Wheels, or Suede Floggers.

If the Sub is tied and blindfolded, he/she will have no idea what is being used, as its gently moved over their skin. The sensations can be mind blowing - not is a sexy, orgasmic way - but still very very strong....

I could go on.... Who knows what a Violet Wand is.....??

I from I&L xx

 

[Admin]

Oh my god! Did you say Pin Wheels? nom
Spikes anyone? *drools*


Oh and these types of threads are designed for you guys to add to them too..

 

[Lovers_For_Life]

Oh my god! Did you say Pin Wheels? nom
Spikes anyone? *drools*

Oh and these types of threads are designed for you guys to add to them too..

Yes... Wartenburg Wheels - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wartenberg_wheel
Available in several varieties... We have 2 single wheels and two 5 wheels.
Readily available, from our Sponsors - http://search.bondara.co.uk/search?w=pinwheel

If you want to see generally what available, BDSM Toys wise, I would recommend a visit to the BBB or LAM, or similar...

 

[Admin]

Yes indeed, I am deeply partial to pin wheels and spikes in my back.. as some may know

Excellent tips for anyone looking to explore it further

 

[Lovers_For_Life]

Lols.... Could even organise a Social Swing Special Meet'n'Greet with Guided Tour, for the BBB.......