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Workplace Humour

Lips_Pearls

19 March 2015
23,755
64,858
So. After a post by @MP386 here Funny Foto's it got me thinking about the fun stuff I did with apprentices and, tbh, the 'guv too.
So I am talking about things like;
Sending a youngster up the shop for tomorrow's newspaper so we can get the crossword answers.
Piercing egg shells and blowing the egg out, then putting empty shells back in the box.
Tying about 8 cable ties to the drive shafts of my bosses (at the time) car LOL! (that reaaaallllly pissed him off, it was epic! ).
Sending a young 'un across the road to get a Ford Fiesta glass hammer!
Freezing someone's butter.
Gluing the bosses pen to the table so he can't do crosswords...
And so on.

Hell, even here I've done some odd things. Changing people's accounts for a laugh, adding odd info to their profiles, setting preferences out and even adding funny banners etc to their accounts. (All done openly and for a laugh only).

So what fun do you get up to in work or with your colleagues. x
 

MOTM

MP386

9 November 2015
28,513
66,205
59
Always the old classics such as a tin of stripey paint ... or a long weight .... have know peoples boots to be nailed to the floor ....
 
D

Deleted member 1030

When I worked in an architect's office, just a fresh-faced young buck and oblivious to the names of various bits of equipment, I got sent out for a new stand for the boss. I was told to go to all the drawing equipment shops and ask for a "long stand". I followed my instructions and in each shop I went, they told me to wait while they checked their stock - always to no avail. It was only after standing for yet another 30/40 minutes in the sixth shop, when the chuckling proprietor asked me if I thought I'd had a long enough stand, that I clicked
 

MOTM

MP386

9 November 2015
28,513
66,205
59
I did once work with an Irish labourer who you never accepted a cup of tea from ...... he had a habit of rubbing his cock around the rim of the mugs ....
 

fincon

10 July 2018
1,289
3,775
Way back in the day, way, way back, back in the days before British Telecom was British Telecom, back when it was part of the General Post Office, the GPO…

...one way you’d knock the cockiness out of an accountancy graduate, one who thought they knew everything in theory but knew fuck all about practice of accountancy…

...particularly one who was daft enough to think it was just applied maths, and was self-professedly good at mental arithmetic…

…you’d hand them the phone book, ask them to pick a page at random, and then tell them to add up all the phone numbers on the page by hand… and then tell them that if they went to the post office, queued up, and told the person behind the desk the page number…

…they’d tell the kid if he had the right answer or not.
 
D

Deleted member 1030

That. Is. Brilliant.
 
Reactions: Pearls and fincon
D

Deleted member 1030

When I worked at Butlins, we used to send the barstaff newbies, dressed in all the cellar man's protective gear, to take the, ahem, highly caustic (whatever you do, don't spill it! It'll burn you and the customers) "Murphy's whitener" to the Irish bar on the other side of the camp. They were, of course, carrying a pint glass filled to the rim with tap water

Made me laugh every time
 
D

Deleted member 6485

Was you one of those 'newbies' once?x
 
Reactions: Pearls and Lips_Pearls

Baldrick

5 July 2016
5,740
9,823
City
Ossett
Long weight,
Long stand (I used this a couple of month back on my 8 year old when I sent him to the shop ?),
Tartan paint,
Left handed screwdriver,

Classics

In college we filled one lads toolbox with expanding foam
And nailed another lads toolbox to the wooden floor. Nearly ripped his arm off .

Now here's a tale I really shouldn't tell

I once worked in a workshop that made musical instruments and cases (old school style where each workstation had a holder for your mug and an ashtray).
Anyway there was this one prick that used everybody hated (every workplace has one. If you don't think your workplace has one then it's probably you ), the snivelly kind that would always grass you up.
Well one day after upsetting me I wired a car battery to one of the two urinals and the metal grated floor and hung a 'do not use' sign on the other urinal. I then informed all the other lads (except the snitch) to only use the urinal with the sign on.
So everytime the snitch went to the toilet he would use the urinal with the car battery wired to it. People would start following him to the loo to witness his reaction when electrical current travelled up his wee, to his cock and down his legs. It must've felt like the bladder infection from hell .

I sooooooooo should not be admitting to this :grin:

X
 

Baldrick

5 July 2016
5,740
9,823
City
Ossett

You worked at Butlins? And slowly all the prices of the jigsaw fall into place........ Gi'us a dance then?

X
 
D

Deleted member 1030

Baldrick said:
You worked at Butlins? And slowly all the prices of the jigsaw fall into place........ Gi'us a dance then?

X
Click to expand...
I was a 'total bar stud' (I think that's what people called me, anyway) not a bloody Red Coat. You having a drink or what? Hurry up, there's girls want serving.
 
L

Looby&Lew

18 October 2015
6,764
13,945
City
Nantwich
We saw some Maltese customs officials cling wrapping a colleagues car the other day in Valletta...made us laugh x
 
J

.Jophanie.

22 July 2017
630
3,998
City
Nottingham
Mr J has been known to put a sweeping brush through people's overalls and send the ramp up.... An hour dangling..... Or spray lighter fluid under toilet doors.... With a match!!!!!! That's after a glass hammer!!!
 
J

.Jophanie.

22 July 2017
630
3,998
City
Nottingham
...update..... I've just been told..... This week he put the apprentice on a ramp, sent it up and turned the power off for half an hour #winning #shedidgetdown #eventually
 
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