Your Preconceptions

[fincon]

All of us came into the scene with expectations, no matter how similar or different they were… and there have been threads dealing with those.

But also, all of us came in with preconceptions. So which preconceptions were accurate? And which were just plain wrong, through ignorance or naïveté?

Mine?

I was led to expect that the vast majority of folks were friendly, and welcoming to polite, nervous newcomers. True.

I anticipated that there’d be as many different types of club and sites as there were different types of people. Also true.

I thought there’d be loads of fellas just playing away from home. Sadly, also true.

But…

I thought before entering the scene that the average age of swingers would be far younger. Flat wrong.

I should have but didn’t expect how highly courtesy and politeness was prized. Wrong of me, there. Delightfully wrong, but still wrong.

I completely wrongly anticipated the likely single M / single F / MF couple numbers/make-up of it. Yeah, absolutely wrong there.

Although I expected individuals to be nice, didn’t anticipate how friendly the people running clubs and sites would be. Again, wrong.

Your turn. Go.

 

[Therapon]

If I'm honest I really wasn't sure what to expect. As I've said before I joined another site and I was simply hoping that I might be lucky and get a meet but I certainly wasn't hopeful. I suppose the reason for that was possibly two preconceptions, firstly most swingers would be young so my age would be a barrier and secondly because I was single. On that site those preconceptions were correct, in fact the response was positively hostile and I had considered giving up at the time.
However fate intervened and I along with a few others joined this site and I was suprised just how different it was, someone actually welcomed me to the site and with a bit of encouragement from the owners (OK maybe a huge kick up the ass from them and a couple of others) things have become far better than I could imagine.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

All of us came into the scene with expectations, no matter how similar or different they were… and there have been threads dealing with those.

But also, all of us came in with preconceptions. So which preconceptions were accurate? And which were just plain wrong, through ignorance or naïveté?

Mine?

I was led to expect that the vast majority of folks were friendly, and welcoming to polite, nervous newcomers. True.

I anticipated that there’d be as many different types of club and sites as there were different types of people. Also true.

I thought there’d be loads of fellas just playing away from home. Sadly, also true.

But…

I thought before entering the scene that the average age of swingers would be far younger. Flat wrong.

I should have but didn’t expect how highly courtesy and politeness was prized. Wrong of me, there. Delightfully wrong, but still wrong.

I completely wrongly anticipated the likely single M / single F / MF couple numbers/make-up of it. Yeah, absolutely wrong there.

Although I expected individuals to be nice, didn’t anticipate how friendly the people running clubs and sites would be. Again, wrong.

Your turn. Go.

Okay so...
It’s difficult now on this side of things, but way back when, we / I expected everyone to be welcoming and friendly. I was massively wrong.
I kind of expected people to be honest, open, friendly, trustworthy and genuinely who they said they were. Wrong. Massively.
Yes we made friends but it was tricky.
The hostility was acute and widespread. It still is I think.
Of course I am talking before SS was born....
Bearing in mind, we fell into this with old friends way before any online site for Swinging was around.

So, now things have changed and I’m surprised by many things.
Some amazing. Some not so.
It’s not fair of me to say what I think personally is not so good but the good preconceptions from before, as mentioned above, have now been realised but on here.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

If I'm honest I really wasn't sure what to expect. As I've said before I joined another site and I was simply hoping that I might be lucky and get a meet but I certainly wasn't hopeful. I suppose the reason for that was possibly two preconceptions, firstly most swingers would be young so my age would be a barrier and secondly because I was single. On that site those preconceptions were correct, in fact the response was positively hostile and I had considered giving up at the time.
However fate intervened and I along with a few others joined this site and I was suprised just how different it was, someone actually welcomed me to the site and with a bit of encouragement from the owners (OK maybe a huge kick up the ass from them and a couple of others) things have become far better than I could imagine.

Superb post.
We obviously thought to reply at the same time.
You have settled so well here though haven’t you. I remember your first few days very clearly. All good and part of the furniture now.

 

[Pearls]

If I'm honest I really wasn't sure what to expect. As I've said before I joined another site and I was simply hoping that I might be lucky and get a meet but I certainly wasn't hopeful. I suppose the reason for that was possibly two preconceptions, firstly most swingers would be young so my age would be a barrier and secondly because I was single. On that site those preconceptions were correct, in fact the response was positively hostile and I had considered giving up at the time.
However fate intervened and I along with a few others joined this site and I was suprised just how different it was, someone actually welcomed me to the site and with a bit of encouragement from the owners (OK maybe a huge kick up the ass from them and a couple of others) things have become far better than I could imagine.

Awwww did you enjoy the kick

 

[Stew]

Preconceptions were massive on other sites !
Free sex just for the asking wrong
Dozens of people in my area wrong
Friendly welcoming atmosphere after all we want the same things wrong

Joined SS ages ago had a great time the site was alive and buzzing naughty posts and chats abounded !

Now sadly the first two are still true, more down to location and circumstances than anything wrong with the site
The big difference is the third item, this has become home and a (very) extended family, not quite as much banter about nowadays but still a group of mainly fabulous people !

 

[fincon]

Okay so...
It’s difficult now on this side of things, but way back when, we / I expected everyone to be welcoming and friendly. I was massively wrong.
I kind of expected people to be honest, open, friendly, trustworthy and genuinely who they said they were. Wrong. Massively.
Yes we made friends but it was tricky.
The hostility was acute and widespread. It still is I think.
Of course I am talking before SS was born....
Bearing in mind, we fell into this with old friends way before any online site for Swinging was around.

So, now things have changed and I’m surprised by many things.
Some amazing. Some not so.
It’s not fair of me to say what I think personally is not so good but the good preconceptions from before, as mentioned above, have now been realised but on here.

Excellent post.

Fully expected everyone’s experiences, and preconceptions, to be different from mine. Not only because everyone’s different, but everyone comes to this environment from a different place, and with different people.

(I’ll freely acknowledge - as I have before - that I couldn’t have been luckier with the people, and the places, when I entered the scene. Had I had the experiences that many had, I doubt I’d have hung around long.)

 

[fincon]

Free sex just for the asking wrong

Yeah, I’m genuinely unsure why this wasn’t an expectation of mine when I came into this scene.

I mean, it should have been, looking back. Would still have been a wrong preconception, but it didn’t even enter into it. MORE sex than I was then getting, sure, but ‘on demand’? No.

Again, though; suspect that was me just being extremely lucky in what I’d read/been told about the scene before I stepped into it.

 

[Therapon]

Superb post.
We obviously thought to reply at the same time.
You have settled so well here though haven’t you. I remember your first few days very clearly. All good and part of the furniture now.

Joining here was such a different experience, totally inexperienced, shy and not really having a clue about what I was doing. Lots of help needed, lots of help given and very much appreciated, thank you.
Now do I have my pervs gold star please.

Awwww did you enjoy the kick

No to be honest but I needed it and it worked so a genuine thank you

 

[Pearls]

Joining here was such a different experience, totally inexperienced, shy and not really having a clue about what I was doing. Lots of help needed, lots of help given and very much appreciated, thank you.
Now do I have my pervs gold star please.



No to be honest but I needed it and it worked so a genuine thank you

You being serious. What’s up

 

[Leonidas480]

This is a great thread.

I didn't have any pre-conceptions that were way off, but there are a few things that are not as I expected them to be. Note my points relate mainly to my experience in clubs.

Number of single females - expected some more, particularly in clubs - wrong!

Expected more gays and lesbians, didn't expect it to be as segregated - wrong! I.e. I found clubs to be less diverse than I expected.

Expected more playing to happen generally in clubs - wrong!

Didn't expect to find interacting as difficult as I do (even still) as a single gent (more of a personal thing) - wrong!