Low And High Sex Drives

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Scrunchy&Muffet

Afternoon you lovely lot.
Ok so each of us are different and special in our own little way. And over time age....stress......problems....hormones....lifestyle may dictate changes in your sex drive.
So how do you deal with this as a couple if your partner has a lower of higher sex drive than you. And before you all shout "have a wank" im looking for something a bit more thought provoking than that lol. Look forward to hearing your thoughts peeps xxx
 
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Pearls

MOTM

Pearls

18 July 2015
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Scrunchy&Muffet said:
Afternoon you lovely lot.
Ok so each of us are different and special in our own little way. And over time age....stress......problems....hormones....lifestyle may dictate changes in your sex drive.
So how do you deal with this as a couple if your partner has a lower of higher sex drive than you. And before you all shout "have a wank" im looking for something a bit more thought provoking than that lol. Look forward to hearing your thoughts peeps xxx
Click to expand...
Good question, well we have always been active but with children coming along sex does take a back seat, sadly but I think most are the same. As the kids have started to grow so have our sex life, I think turning 40 was great for me, best time for us, I would say we have the same sex drive, we tease each other most days which makes sex so much better come bed time, I suppose doing this job has made a difference and when school starts we shall of course be back to desk throwing ;):sneaky::D
 
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Scrunchy&Muffet

Pearls said:
Good question, well we have always been active but with children coming along sex does take a back seat, sadly but I think most are the same. As the kids have started to grow so have our sex life, I think turning 40 was great for me, best time for us, I would say we have the same sex drive, we tease each other most days which makes sex so much better come bed time, I suppose doing this job has made a difference and when school starts we shall of course be back to desk throwing ;):sneaky::D
Click to expand...

But if yours were different how would you tackle it? Xxxxxx
 
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Scrunchy&Muffet

I think it can be frustraing for both partners...one maybe feeling that they want more sex and the other maybe feeling under pressure to perform if you like. I agree sex is not everything in a relationship but when its good and enjoyable and brings you closer as a couple then it is important. And unresolves issues can cause problems xxxx
 
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Pearls

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Pearls

18 July 2015
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Scrunchy&Muffet said:
I think it can be frustraing for both partners...one maybe feeling that they want more sex and the other maybe feeling under pressure to perform if you like. I agree sex is not everything in a relationship but when its good and enjoyable and brings you closer as a couple then it is important. And unresolves issues can cause problems xxxx
Click to expand...
We have been through some bad times as with most and we are lucky that we have still had good sex drives which we have found to be good for getting through xx
 
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Pearls

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Pearls

18 July 2015
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Scrunchy&Muffet said:
But what do you do if that sex drive diminishes? Xxxx
Click to expand...
Very hard for me to comment hun, We have never had the issue of it diminishing, I guess maybe trying new things, if there are medication that you are taking then perhaps check that isn't causing problems, I know some do. Check with the GP with that, Take time out with each other away from stress and family and talk, have a no sex rule for a week and chat to each other about what you can't wait to do to one another. Personally for me its hard as we have never had a problem xxx
 
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XX

Hmmm, very interesting question and one that personally affects us to a small degree.

I (N - bloke) have been suffering with ME/CFS for the past couple of years, badly enough to make me give up work for the time being, so there are times where even though I'm willing I'm not really able/feel upto it, if that makes sense.
C's been really good about this and will either have a play with her toys or if I feel like it, ermm, take care of me, othertimes it's just a case of her jumping on top and doing all the work :love:

Luckily it's not been a big issue with swinging or on special day's (birthdays, anniversary, etc.) as I can generally pace myself so that I have enough energy at those times.

I guess I should also say that if it comes diown to it we've not got a problem with only one of us, i.e. C in this case, swinging alone on occasion as we both like each other to have fun and enjoy themselves and would much prefer that than to hold either of us other back.

N (& C)
xx
 
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MickeyBlueBalls

From previous experiences I would say talking about it amongst yourselves is paramount. It may well be there's an underlying issue that through the right kind of support can be overcome together. Secondly if you have a higher drive then don't pressure your partner as it will almost certainly end up in arguments. Thirdly variety is the spice of life. Suggest new experiences. and adventures - that bucket list of sexy things to do, a break from monotony.
Stress is a big factor and my advice is rest, rest and more rest. In fact one of the biggest causes of stress is sleep deprivation. So rest up and recharge.
Family commitments is a biggie and can have a detrimental affect on one's libido. The only sensible way to tackle it is to set some time aside from being parents and enjoying each other as lovers. By knowing when some play is coming up it allows us to make preperations .
For me it would be to discuss why your partners sex drive has waned . Otherwise accept that one of you has a higher sex drive and stock up on toys at The Panty Purse (other retail outlets are available) .
 
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BlancoGoGo

BlancoGoGo

27 May 2016
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Grimsby
Menopause! There I've said it......wreaks havoc, both emotionally & physically, so we sorted out the physical manifestations....and the rest is down to discussion, tolerance, and, yes, go and have a wank if needed!
And having a naughty weekend to look forward to & talk about helps, too ;)
 
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peakcouple

If your partner has the same sex drive as yourself, that's ideal. If one of you has a high one and the other a low one, then that could lead to problems. Talking is fine up to a point, but when your wife announces she doesn't want sex any more, and expects you to do without too, then the only recourse is agree and be frustrated, or divorce. This happened to me (Geoff). I did say I'd respect her choice but would expect to be allowed to seek other sexual relief elsewhere (had been doing that anyway, privately) but that went down like a lead balloon. Rose was luckier, her ex wasn't very sexual at all and allowed her to have other men and women, as long as it wasn't at home and he didn't want to know anything about it all. We've agreed if one of us wants to give up, the other can have sex with other people. It hasn't come to that yet!
 
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Singer-swinger

Having been in the position of loosing my sex drive in the recent past, my wife and I decided it would be a good idea to investigate the scene originally for her pleasure as I wasnt interested in sex but this in part, has lead to me regaining my mojo. I cant say this is the best way to solve this problem for everyone but it has certainly lit a wild fire in our house n long may it burn... xx
 
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Deleted member 3289

MickeyBlueBalls said:
From previous experiences I would say talking about it amongst yourselves is paramount. It may well be there's an underlying issue that through the right kind of support can be overcome together. Secondly if you have a higher drive then don't pressure your partner as it will almost certainly end up in arguments. Thirdly variety is the spice of life. Suggest new experiences. and adventures - that bucket list of sexy things to do, a break from monotony.
Stress is a big factor and my advice is rest, rest and more rest. In fact one of the biggest causes of stress is sleep deprivation. So rest up and recharge.
Family commitments is a biggie and can have a detrimental affect on one's libido. The only sensible way to tackle it is to set some time aside from being parents and enjoying each other as lovers. By knowing when some play is coming up it allows us to make preperations .
For me it would be to discuss why your partners sex drive has waned . Otherwise accept that one of you has a higher sex drive and stock up on toys at The Panty Purse (other retail outlets are available) .
Click to expand...
This site never ceases to surprise...some great comments but @MickeyBlueBalls you've offered a lot of great advice and options...
 
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MickeyBlueBalls

JustCurious99 said:
This site never ceases to surprise...some great comments but @MickeyBlueBalls you've offered a lot of great advice and options...
Click to expand...
Thanks JC that's very kind of you. If I can I will always try to help any of you guys out. I've been through this situation and it can be a total stress out. I have a great ear and will listen to anybody on SS even if they just need to let off some steam- my door is always open. :)
 
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X

XX

MickeyBlueBalls said:
Thanks JC that's very kind of you. If I can I will always try to help any of you guys out. I've been through this situation and it can be a total stress out. I have a great ear and will listen to anybody on SS even if they just need to let off some steam- my door is always open. :)
Click to expand...

So tempted to 1-2-1 Mickey about a nasty rash or something similar :whistle:
 
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