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Deleted member 1402
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer.
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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peakcouple
A man visited a prostitute and said he'd like to fuck her with his big toe. The hooker said "Well, you're paying, so go ahead!"
A few weeks later a couple of doctors were having a chat. One said "The other day I treated a man for a syphilitic toe. I'd never seen one of those before!" The other doc said "Well, I've seen something stranger than that, I've just treated a woman with athlete's cunt!"
A few weeks later a couple of doctors were having a chat. One said "The other day I treated a man for a syphilitic toe. I'd never seen one of those before!" The other doc said "Well, I've seen something stranger than that, I've just treated a woman with athlete's cunt!"
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Deleted member 1402
MOTM
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Deleted member 3657
My mate and his wife had their first baby the other day. Unfortunately he was born without any eyelids. So the surgeon circumcised him and used the foreskin to make him eyelids. The baby is ok now though but he a bit cock eyed.
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Deleted member 1402
What’s the difference between a tyre and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
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Deleted member 1402
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peakcouple
A man went to his doc and said he wanted to be castrated. The doc was bit disturbed, and told him to go away and think about it carefully. He came back the next week with the same request, so the doc referred him to the hospital. The consultant tried to talk him out of it, but the man still wanted the op, so the consultant made him sign a disclaimer and arranged the op.
After the op was over, the man was lying in bed coming around when they wheeled another bed in alongside. That also had a post-op man in it. When they'd both come round, they began talking.
"What are you in for?" said the first man.
"I've just been circumcised" said the second.
"That was the word I was looking for!
" said the first.
After the op was over, the man was lying in bed coming around when they wheeled another bed in alongside. That also had a post-op man in it. When they'd both come round, they began talking.
"What are you in for?" said the first man.
"I've just been circumcised" said the second.
"That was the word I was looking for!
" said the first.
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Deleted member 3657
Apparently, by law, you have to put your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden..
How the fuck am I meant to know when it's pissing down in Sweden...!!
How the fuck am I meant to know when it's pissing down in Sweden...!!
Mum mum guess what. I have the biggest dick in school. Your such a retard son your 28 years old ffs. Now sit up straight and eat you spaghetti hoops properly or you will make a right mess of your Manchester united shirt.
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Deleted member 1030
One for the computer geeks;
A programmer's wife tells him to go to the shop. "Buy a loaf of bread. If they've got any eggs, get a dozen."
The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
A programmer's wife tells him to go to the shop. "Buy a loaf of bread. If they've got any eggs, get a dozen."
The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
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Deleted member 1030
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anniefanniewannie22
What did the monkey say when he got into a hot bath ............... Ooo aaa ooo aaa I'm tish at jokes 
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anniefanniewannie22
Thanks for supporting the worse joke ever xxWhat did the monkey say when he got into a hot bath ............... Ooo aaa ooo aaa I'm tish at jokes
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Deleted member 1030
Aww it wasn't the worst joke ever. I liked it, it made me giggle!Thanks for supporting the worse joke ever xx
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anniefanniewannie22
Ok another tish one. 2 nuns in the bath, the first nun said "where's the soap? " second nuns says "yeah it does doesn't it" 
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anniefanniewannie22
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Deleted member 1030
A nun is in the bath, when she hears a knock at the door. Alarmed, she asks, "Who is it?"
"Just a blind man," comes the reply.
Assured, the nun tells the man to enter.
The man says, "Nice tits, love. Now, where do you want these blinds?"
"Just a blind man," comes the reply.
Assured, the nun tells the man to enter.
The man says, "Nice tits, love. Now, where do you want these blinds?"
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Before we moved to Lancashire a friend of mine visited here and I asked him what it was like and he replied. I think it must have been the last place god made and he forgot to finish it.
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Deleted member 3411
Two young boys are playing outside a house when they see a man go and knock at the door. The woman who lives there arrives at the door wearing just a negligee. He removes some money out of his pocket and says to the woman £100 that's right isn't it? She nods and they go in. About an hour later he comes out with the big smile on his face. A little while later another man arrives knocks on the door shows her £100, she beckons him in, again an hour later he comes out with a big smile on his face. So one lad looks at the other and says how much money have you got? And find that's between them that got £12.56. Tossing a coin to see who will get to go the winning lad goes to the door, knocks and waits. After a few nervous minutes woman opens the door then looks down at the young man in front of her who offers up his hand and shows her the £12.56. Step inside she says and closes the door. She grabs hold of him by the ear and leans down and says " don't you be coming round here doing such things you bad bad boy", with each word she slapps him across the face and across the back of his legs. Finally she opens the door and pushes him out slamming it behind him. Walking back to his friend nursing his wounds he sits down and says "Thank God we couldn't afford the full hour".....
