What Was Your First Visit To A Club Like?

[Never_say_Never]

Im curious as to people's experiences when they entered a swinging club for the first time?
I ask as I have a mixture of feelings, don't misunderstand me, I want to go, I am just understandably nervous. I find the whole lifestyle refreshing, open and honest (well in the main). I am so pleased that my partner planted the seed of thought in my mind, it has bought us closer than ever and taken our sexual relationship to a whole new level!
I'd like to hear if you felt pressured, if you were apprehensive, were you shy about yourself?
Every persons body is different, some are more confident about theirs than others.
We're there any reservations about joining in? Was it easy to say 'no thank you', or indeed 'yes please!'

 

[Deleted member 2610]

I was very lucky to have my first club visit with the some of the great people from SS. They looked after the 'club virgin' and it turned out to be a fantastic time.
If possible I would highly recommend going on an SS meet as it takes away the a bit of the apprehension xxx :0))

 

[meet_the_fockers]

Im curious as to people's experiences when they entered a swinging club for the first time?
I ask as I have a mixture of feelings, don't misunderstand me, I want to go, I am just understandably nervous. I find the whole lifestyle refreshing, open and honest (well in the main). I am so pleased that my partner planted the seed of thought in my mind, it has bought us closer than ever and taken our sexual relationship to a whole new level!
I'd like to hear if you felt pressured, if you were apprehensive, were you shy about yourself?
Every persons body is different, some are more confident about theirs than others.
We're there any reservations about joining in? Was it easy to say 'no thank you', or indeed 'yes please!'

Hey there, this thread maybe of some interest to you... theres a few different thoughts and opinions here x
First club visit? Are you unsure? What to expect.

 

[Tigress]

My first visit was on Boxing Day just gone, to the VA. I went on my own and agree with @Beds_Bi, that they're very welcoming. I didn't feel any pressure at all. I've been back four times since, so it can't have been too bad!

 

[Deleted member 4901]

I thought I'd be nervous but it was really good to meet people from here and hey are as friendly and welcoming N real life.

 

[peakcouple]

Our first club visit was to La Chambre, 12 years ago. We'd only been a couple for a few weeks and decided we wanted to try swinging, after watching one of the DVDs in this series. The scenes were shot in La Chambre playrooms starring 'ordinary' club members and we thought the swapping looked very erotic, with everyone being relaxed and natural about it.

We were a bit apprehensive, but when we said we were newbies one of the staff showed us around the whole club, which helped a lot. It was early, but there was action in one playroom and everyone looked happy and enjoying the fun; that helped too. We did some people watching in the bar then decided to get into the pool and join the couples playing. After drying off we went into the 'stars and skyscrapers' playroom which was quite crowded, and played together while watching the others. Neither of us felt nervous about getting nude for sex with others around, or fucking with others watching. We'd both done that when younger anyway.

We didn't swap that first visit but we did touch and kiss some people near us during our play. Rose felt a lot happier about the scene afterwards, she'd worried that swinging might involve women being exploited but saw they were the ones in charge most of the time! We loved pushing our boundaries, loved how the club was a place where normal rules didn't apply, and the way the sex looked joyous. We were hooked and went there at least once a month for well over two years.

 

[Reletless2017]

Yet to go to a club I am going to pop my club cherry soon I hope! But right now I am bricking it, so any tips of a good club to go to and any other good help is very welcome.

 

[Never_say_Never]

My first club visit was also an SS social. I was nervous and really didn't know what to expect, but the fact that there were people there I'd chatted to made it easier. I loved it!
I didn't feel pressure to do anything (which is what I was a little worried about) and everyone was friendly, and most importantly, respectful x
If you can make it to the VA in a couple of weeks for the birthday social, that would be a wonderful first club visit - a lovely bunch of people x

We are going to the VA on the Friday for the birthday social - hence my post.
It was a simple case of biting the bullet! If we didn't book to go then we'll always be sat here wondering what it's like lol
Decided that the only way to know for sure was to just do it! x

 

[Never_say_Never]

My first visit was to VA for SS party last year, I went alone and wasn't feeling well but didn't want to cancel. I was nervous and excited all at the same time.
I got there just after it opened so was one of the first to arrive, got shown round and was very impressed, once people arrived I realised we were all normal!
Have been back several times now (not as much as I'd like, as it's only down the road) can't wait to get in the hot tub!
Oh and I went on my own F as hubby was elsewhere

I see from the list that you are going on the Saturday, we can only make the Friday. Would have been good to meet you x

 

[Admin]

@Meandmymilf if I may...
Everyone's experiences are different.. I will say though that you're attending our birthday party and, as newbies to the club environment, am very sure everyone will not only make you feel welcome (as standard) but also safe and relaxed too.
We will of course be there and last year I saw pretty much everyone in and out. So will keep my eyes peeled and make sure you don't get too jittery..
It's a lot of fun, more relaxed than you'd expect and basically a club filled with like-minded folk, and somewhere where you can really be yourselves and let your hair down.
Way more open and relaxed than anything 'nilla. (vanilla, non lifestyle)

However!
It's not for everyone and sometimes attending a club can make or break your decision to be part of this lifestyle.
There's con's too aswell as pro's and you may find that it's not for you at all.
That's rare though as we're all just too naughty to say no to it all
Good luck and am sure everyone will hold your hands. x

The same is to be said to @Reletless2017 too - you're among friends so don't fear.

 

[Nigel&Julie]

Our first club visit was to VA with some friends which was their first club visit as well so we had people to talk to that we knew, that was a good 3 years ago, have been back loads of times since and would recommend VA to anyone, so clean & friendly

 

[Therapon]

My first visit was to Townhouse and I was apprehensive but going with friends helped. Inside by the bar it was just like going to the pub except a few people wore slightly less than the average pub unfortunately would deem unsuitable attire
My advice is go with friends, you do not have to play you can just socialise and you can always leave if you want.

 

[Looby&Lew]

My first visit was to Townhouse and I was apprehensive but going with friends helped. Inside by the bar it was just like going to the pub except a few people wore slightly less than the average pub unfortunately would deem unsuitable attire
My advice is go with friends, you do not have to play you can just socialise and you can always leave if you want.

It was our first visit to Townhouse where we met you and we've been friends ever since. I know you were hoping to befriend a better class of person but tough you're stuck with us....

 

[AutumnH]

My first club visit was actually last month at Chameleons.
I was a little apprehensive because I am a single female and I always had images of walking in and being rugby tackled left, right and centre! But I was meeting people from here and it made me relax a little bit.
Walking in, my first thought was "okay....There are half naked people walking around" but everyone smiled and the staff were welcoming and after a tour led by @Bump-n-Grind we mingled at the bar, chatted, had a laugh and relaxed. It was like being in a regular bar with friends but were all wearing something a little more revealing.

I've said before, I have issues with my body. And whilst I was in the bar area, not only was I people watching, but also comparing myself to all the other women folk there: "Oh god, I'm the biggest person here...hang on, she's about the same size as me....she's got huge boobs!...she's got short legs with a long body...she's bigger than me and she's wearing that?! She looks amazing!...she can't walk in those heels, surely not!...there's alot of women here who are a larger size and they're all wearing next to nothing, and they seem okay with it...aren't her nipples cold?...her boobs are so small..." and it goes on and on and on.

The point is, as women (men too) we are going to self criticise how we look, what we wear, how beautiful everybody else is compared to ourselves...but the great thing about being in a club is seeing the absolute variety of shapes and sizes, and the magical thing is, everyone is accepted. There are no judgements, there is no discrimination, there is just pure variety of the human body.

Best night out, everyone was very friendly. Go with no expectations, if it's your first time go to a SS social meet or with friends.

 

[Therapon]

It was our first visit to Townhouse where we met you and we've been friends ever since. I know you were hoping to befriend a better class of person but tough you're stuck with us....

Haha yep I was but hey ho you're not too bad. Seriously though I think that is the great thing about going to a club/socials event, you get to meet new people and make great friends. Btw has Lew managed to put his eyebslls back yet

 

[Never_say_Never]

My first club visit was actually last month at Chameleons.
I was a little apprehensive because I am a single female and I always had images of walking in and being rugby tackled left, right and centre! But I was meeting people from here and it made me relax a little bit.
Walking in, my first thought was "okay....There are half naked people walking around" but everyone smiled and the staff were welcoming and after a tour led by @Bump-n-Grind we mingled at the bar, chatted, had a laugh and relaxed. It was like being in a regular bar with friends but were all wearing something a little more revealing.

I've said before, I have issues with my body. And whilst I was in the bar area, not only was I people watching, but also comparing myself to all the other women folk there: "Oh god, I'm the biggest person here...hang on, she's about the same size as me....she's got huge boobs!...she's got short legs with a long body...she's bigger than me and she's wearing that?! She looks amazing!...she can't walk in those heels, surely not!...there's alot of women here who are a larger size and they're all wearing next to nothing, and they seem okay with it...aren't her nipples cold?...her boobs are so small..." and it goes on and on and on.

The point is, as women (men too) we are going to self criticise how we look, what we wear, how beautiful everybody else is compared to ourselves...but the great thing about being in a club is seeing the absolute variety of shapes and sizes, and the magical thing is, everyone is accepted. There are no judgements, there is no discrimination, there is just pure variety of the human body.

Best night out, everyone was very friendly. Go with no expectations, if it's your first time go to a SS social meet or with friends.

Damn you're good!
How did you get inside my head and say all the things that I'm thinking?
I have a past, as we all do. But it is this past that makes me question all of the above.
Of course your partner is going to love everything about you, but that's because it makes you who you are. However, at a club people don't know who you are so are analysing what they see.
Thank you for sharing your experience, it goes a long way to putting my mind at ease.
It's good to know I'm not the only one that has these thoughts.
I'm hoping this thread will also help some of the others that have the same thoughts. It's always good to have people's actual experiences to reflect upon, so thank you for sharing with me, well, everyone. Xx

 

[Reletless2017]

Come to the social....all these lovely, friendly (slightly mad) people to make you welcome x

Thank you x I asked for time off when you mentioned it on Friday as it sounds like the best way to experience a club with mad people like me! x

 

[Reletless2017]

My first club visit was actually last month at Chameleons.
I was a little apprehensive because I am a single female and I always had images of walking in and being rugby tackled left, right and centre! But I was meeting people from here and it made me relax a little bit.
Walking in, my first thought was "okay....There are half naked people walking around" but everyone smiled and the staff were welcoming and after a tour led by @Bump-n-Grind we mingled at the bar, chatted, had a laugh and relaxed. It was like being in a regular bar with friends but were all wearing something a little more revealing.

I've said before, I have issues with my body. And whilst I was in the bar area, not only was I people watching, but also comparing myself to all the other women folk there: "Oh god, I'm the biggest person here...hang on, she's about the same size as me....she's got huge boobs!...she's got short legs with a long body...she's bigger than me and she's wearing that?! She looks amazing!...she can't walk in those heels, surely not!...there's alot of women here who are a larger size and they're all wearing next to nothing, and they seem okay with it...aren't her nipples cold?...her boobs are so small..." and it goes on and on and on.

The point is, as women (men too) we are going to self criticise how we look, what we wear, how beautiful everybody else is compared to ourselves...but the great thing about being in a club is seeing the absolute variety of shapes and sizes, and the magical thing is, everyone is accepted. There are no judgements, there is no discrimination, there is just pure variety of the human body.

Best night out, everyone was very friendly. Go with no expectations, if it's your first time go to a SS social meet or with friends.

You summed up all my fears there!!! Does make me feel more at ease though. Fingers crossed x

 

[AutumnH]

Damn you're good!
How did you get inside my head and say all the things that I'm thinking?
Thank you for sharing your experience, it goes a long way to putting my mind at ease.
It's good to know I'm not the only one that has these thoughts.

We all do it. It's not as if we're having big judgements like anything that's racist or body shaming etc. We're having little judgements but also judging ourselves as we judge others...does that make sense?
"I'm too fat to be here...my legs aren't as long as hers...she has the perfect figure...she's got small feet...I look like a beached whale compared to everyone else...everyone is so beautiful here...that fishnet body stocking does not look good on you...a fishnet body stocking does not look good on me....I need to suck in my tummy otherwise everyone will know I eat...I feel so fat and embarassed, I don't know why I came here...it's all his fault, he suggested this...he knows how I don't like my thighs/tummy/bum on show" etc.

In having these thoughts we are reinforcing our negative automatic thoughts, and the more you think about something the bigger the problem is. You know when you're lying in bed at night and you're thinking about what you should have said to that colleague, or how you should have told your boss to shove it up his arse and then before you know it, it's 2am because you've deviated from the original topic. Same principle.

Sorry to go off on one, and I realise I'm introducing a little bit of CBT theory here, but the best thing for any of us to do with body issues, is to dive head first into a club, wearing the skimpiest thing you can find and realise that everyone else has the same thoughts about themselves as we do.

Love and hugs xx

 

[Admin]

Sorry to go off on one, and I realise I'm introducing a little bit of CBT theory here, but the best thing for any of us to do with body issues, is to dive head first into a club, wearing the skimpiest thing you can find and realise that everyone else has the same thoughts about themselves as we do.

Absolutely agreed.... 100%
And I must say Miss Autumn that's one hell of a post! Kudos to you. x

 

[MP386]

I have never been to a club either so the birthday thing will be my first ... baring any major mishaps I have a room booked ...
The whole will I fit in , will anyone like me .... its questions that run through my head .... but I joined here to meet people so it's a case of biting the bullet ....
The whole how I look thing also plays on my mind but since being here every has been kind and accepting and made me feel so much better about myself ...
so Friday the 3rd will be a day to remember I hope ... if it's a complete disaster I have Saturday the 4th to go do what I have missed for the last 6 years ... I have a trackday book I must be completely mad ....

 

[Steed99]

My first club visit was more years ago than I care to remember but it's got a lot to answer for! It was to Adam and Eves in Eccles, Manchester. I was working and staying away from home, so took the opportunity to visit what was then, one of the few swingers clubs in the UK. I went there several times and, like all club visits, some were better than others, but generally I had a good time with other likeminded people.

Since then I have visited quite a few other clubs both here in the UK and abroad. All clubs are different both in layout and the people they attract but on the other hand, they all cater for people that enjoy this wonderful lifestyle socialising and often having adult fun as well.

Over the past 4½ years I have been very fortunate in discovering, and visiting most weekends, what is the nearest club to where I live, The Vanilla Alternative. As most of you know, I'm now part of the team but I still get to enjoy all aspects of the venue on a Friday night. On Saturdays when entry is restricted to couples and single ladies, I'm there as part of the team to welcome visitors, keep the club looking good and just be aware of what's going on. I also get, from time to time, the opportunity to show new visitors around the club and chat with them at the start of the evening. For some, it's their very first experience of swingers clubs and also, in some cases, their first experience of anything in this lifestyle. For quite a few their preconceived idea of clubs is that they will be a bit seedy and they could be pressured in to doing things they may not want to. On both fronts, it couldn't be further from the reality. Clubs generally are nicely presented and visitors are always in total control of what goes on. Yes, occasionally someone may make an unwanted approach but a simple 'no' is all that is needed to express that the approach is not welcome. No one takes any offence by a reaction like that as it's just part of club life.

The other part of club life that differs from other venues is that regular visitors expect other people to come and talk to them. It doesn't mean that there are any further expectations, it's just that within this wonderful swinging environment people like to socialise. I know that in the UK people generally respect others personal space (you know what I mean - on a train journey hardly anyone will talk to complete strangers). In swinging clubs it's completely different and visitors expect to be approached by people they have never met before. Most of the time it's just small talk but some of the conversations can get really interesting.

Over the years I have met an amazing number of really nice people in clubs (and yes a few I would not be rushing to meet again!) Over the next couple of weekends we have The Vanilla Alternative's 6th anniversary celebrations and Social Swinging's 2nd birthday parties. I very much look forward to meeting and chatting to those of you I have crossed paths with in the past and the considerable number of others I have not met personally before. Please do make the effort with both myself and others to introduce yourselves. We know that swingers clubs are not for everyone but the very fact you are members here shows your interest in this swinging lifestyle and I am almost sure you will enjoy clubs as well.

 

[Never_say_Never]

We all do it. It's not as if we're having big judgements like anything that's racist or body shaming etc. We're having little judgements but also judging ourselves as we judge others...does that make sense?
"I'm too fat to be here...my legs aren't as long as hers...she has the perfect figure...she's got small feet...I look like a beached whale compared to everyone else...everyone is so beautiful here...that fishnet body stocking does not look good on you...a fishnet body stocking does not look good on me....I need to suck in my tummy otherwise everyone will know I eat...I feel so fat and embarassed, I don't know why I came here...it's all his fault, he suggested this...he knows how I don't like my thighs/tummy/bum on show" etc.

In having these thoughts we are reinforcing our negative automatic thoughts, and the more you think about something the bigger the problem is. You know when you're lying in bed at night and you're thinking about what you should have said to that colleague, or how you should have told your boss to shove it up his arse and then before you know it, it's 2am because you've deviated from the original topic. Same principle.

Sorry to go off on one, and I realise I'm introducing a little bit of CBT theory here, but the best thing for any of us to do with body issues, is to dive head first into a club, wearing the skimpiest thing you can find and realise that everyone else has the same thoughts about themselves as we do.

Love and hugs xx

I'll call again for my next therapy next week!
You are so right, and it's that theory that made us just turn round and say we would attend the birthday social. If we don't make that decision now we'll be sat here next year thinking all the same thoughts.
Life is all about choices, you have to make them to know if you'll enhance your life. We have to make the most of each moment , each day. You have to explore everything, it's such a loss if you don't.

 

[Admin]

I have never been to a club either so the birthday thing will be my first ... baring any major mishaps I have a room booked ...
The whole will I fit in , will anyone like me .... its questions that run through my head .... but I joined here to meet people so it's a case of biting the bullet ....
The whole how I look thing also plays on my mind but since being here every has been kind and accepting and made me feel so much better about myself ...
so Friday the 3rd will be a day to remember I hope ... if it's a complete disaster I have Saturday the 4th to go do what I have missed for the last 6 years ... I have a trackday book I must be completely mad ....

It's nerve wracking, but you'll be fine. As you say, it's biting the bullet and getting on with it. You'll be fine though.
I think all of us get that pre-entry club butterflies and nerves just as we're about to go in.

 

[Never_say_Never]

My first club visit was more years ago than I care to remember but it's got a lot to answer for! It was to Adam and Eves in Eccles, Manchester. I was working and staying away from home, so took the opportunity to visit what was then, one of the few swingers clubs in the UK. I went there several times and, like all club visits, some were better than others, but generally I had a good time with other likeminded people.

Since then I have visited quite a few other clubs both here in the UK and abroad. All clubs are different both in layout and the people they attract but on the other hand, they all cater for people that enjoy this wonderful lifestyle socialising and often having adult fun as well.

Over the past 4½ years I have been very fortunate in discovering, and visiting most weekends, what is the nearest club to where I live, The Vanilla Alternative. As most of you know, I'm now part of the team but I still get to enjoy all aspects of the venue on a Friday night. On Saturdays when entry is restricted to couples and single ladies, I'm there as part of the team to welcome visitors, keep the club looking good and just be aware of what's going on. I also get, from time to time, the opportunity to show new visitors around the club and chat with them at the start of the evening. For some, it's their very first experience of swingers clubs and also, in some cases, their first experience of anything in this lifestyle. For quite a few their preconceived idea of clubs is that they will be a bit seedy and they could be pressured in to doing things they may not want to. On both fronts, it couldn't be further from the reality. Clubs generally are nicely presented and visitors are always in total control of what goes on. Yes, occasionally someone may make an unwanted approach but a simple 'no' is all that is needed to express that the approach is not welcome. No one takes any offence by a reaction like that as it's just part of club life.

The other part of club life that differs from other venues is that regular visitors expect other people to come and talk to them. It doesn't mean that there are any further expectations, it's just that within this wonderful swinging environment people like to socialise. I know that in the UK people generally respect others personal space (you know what I mean - on a train journey hardly anyone will talk to complete strangers). In swinging clubs it's completely different and visitors expect to be approached by people they have never met before. Most of the time it's just small talk but some of the conversations can get really interesting.

Over the years I have met an amazing number of really nice people in clubs (and yes a few I would not be rushing to meet again!) Over the next couple of weekends we have The Vanilla Alternative's 6th anniversary celebrations and Social Swinging's 2nd birthday parties. I very much look forward to meeting and chatting to those of you I have crossed paths with in the past and the considerable number of others I have not met personally before. Please do make the effort with both myself and others to introduce yourselves. We know that swingers clubs are not for everyone but the very fact you are members here shows your interest in this swinging lifestyle and I am almost sure you will enjoy clubs as well.

Wow! What a fantastic response.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share that.
On Friday 3rd March I'll be the shy one hiding in the corner lol, someone drag me out and chat to me (you can chat to Mr Milf as well!)