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Phoenixcouplexx

Phoenixcouplexx

28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
So... Whenever life allows we live a D/s lifestyle. We are both on Fetlife but 'D' struggles with the site on there and it's not really conducive to making new friends because of the technicalities of the way it works on there.
We've been to a few munches and socials and such but a lot of submissives seem to naturally choose a more backseat at the munches we've been to. However 'D' has often said she'd like other submissives to run thoughts and feelings past, to gossip with about feelings and other stuff. I think it is more of 'there are others that have similar feelings to me, I'm not alone'.
We do communicate all the time as expected and my ear is always available for her should she feel the need, but I think it would be cool if she had another opinion from somewhere else, someone built in a single I large fashion maybe. Also somewhere for newly discovered submissives to ask questions and seek guidance and make some more experienced submissive friends I think would be cool. Anybody have anywhere else they like to use for this kind of stuff?
 
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Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,165
97,253
Phoenixcouplexx said:
So... Whenever life allows we live a D/s lifestyle. We are both on Fetlife but 'D' struggles with the site on there and it's not really conducive to making new friends because of the technicalities of the way it works on there.
We've been to a few munches and socials and such but a lot of submissives seem to naturally choose a more backseat at the munches we've been to. However 'D' has often said she'd like other submissives to run thoughts and feelings past, to gossip with about feelings and other stuff. I think it is more of 'there are others that have similar feelings to me, I'm not alone'.
We do communicate all the time as expected and my ear is always available for her should she feel the need, but I think it would be cool if she had another opinion from somewhere else, someone built in a single I large fashion maybe. Also somewhere for newly discovered submissives to ask questions and seek guidance and make some more experienced submissive friends I think would be cool. Anybody have anywhere else they like to use for this kind of stuff?
Click to expand...
One thing that made me think about this last night; do you think we do enough here for the BDSM lifestyle/community?
Could we do more? :)
 
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Phoenixcouplexx

Phoenixcouplexx

28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
Admin said:
One thing that made me think about this last night; do you think we do enough here for the BDSM lifestyle/community?
Could we do more? :)
Click to expand...

Good question. I definitely think there is a gap that needs bridging at the moment. I know there are a lot of people that don't use Fet because of the way it works.
But also on other swinging sites it seems that a lot of people don't seem as excepting of fet orientated chat as perhaps they should be considering their own activities.
I think having the section here alone is a very good start. Keeping the information factual and balanced I think is important rather than some presenting an opinion as fact. I feel maybe that could be miss leading for some.
I think the biggest thing is the section being used, which of course you can't force. What else the site can do I'm not sure. It is definitely a step in the right direction ;)
 
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Phoenixcouplexx

Phoenixcouplexx

28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
One thing that I do think would be good, that I've been thinking about adding is a sensible way for a new submissive to approach a Dominant or how to recieve an approach from a Dominant. Red flags etc. A lot seem to think they are duty bound to be the submissive from the off and in doing so don't take precautions to ensure their own safety as much as they maybe should or could.
I know the whole argument of the fact they are adult etc but I still don't think another's opinion or a more experienced guide woukd hurt and if it helps even one person it's worth it.
 
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Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,165
97,253
Phoenixcouplexx said:
Good question. I definitely think there is a gap that needs bridging at the moment. I know there are a lot of people that don't use Fet because of the way it works.
But also on other swinging sites it seems that a lot of people don't seem as excepting of fet orientated chat as perhaps they should be considering their own activities.
I think having the section here alone is a very good start. Keeping the information factual and balanced I think is important rather than some presenting an opinion as fact. I feel maybe that could be miss leading for some.
I think the biggest thing is the section being used, which of course you can't force. What else the site can do I'm not sure. It is definitely a step in the right direction ;)
Click to expand...
Indeed, I've long been an advocate of BDSM lifestyle meeting swinging, because I firmly believe that the two spectrum's can and do meet, albeit the milder end of both.
The more extreme ends of either spectrum is of course not going to really work.
That said, as we're both BDSM inclined too, (way way way before FSOG etc :rolleyes: ) it felt almost as important to show that we can be diverse on the site and have both areas covered.

I made sure our FAQ had some BDSM and Fet included;
BDSM | Social Swinging-A FREE Swinging Site for Swingers
Although I know it needs expanding on hugely.

I did hope that more and more people would use these areas, and thankfully they/you are. Which I am really pleased with as it's definitely allowed others to question, open up and/or even discuss such matters.
There's a kink in all of us, but some aren't sure with themselves where they sit etc. This gives an opportunity for people to discuss it and open up, perhaps.

Sadly I have seen Fet go down the same road as another well known swinging site - where it's a free for all. I do blame dating apps for a lot of this damage. This is again why we work so hard at keeping this site as managed as best we can.
Feel free to add to the FAQ mind, I'll gladly give you access to write if you want to?
I know we're slightly derailing your topic, but I also see this as an opportunity to explore things here too. :)
 
Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,165
97,253
Phoenixcouplexx said:
One thing that I do think would be good, that I've been thinking about adding is a sensible way for a new submissive to approach a Dominant or how to recieve an approach from a Dominant. Red flags etc. A lot seem to think they are duty bound to be the submissive from the off and in doing so don't take precautions to ensure their own safety as much as they maybe should or could.
I know the whole argument of the fact they are adult etc but I still don't think another's opinion or a more experienced guide woukd hurt and if it helps even one person it's worth it.
Click to expand...
Yes I agree. Seen far too many subs get damaged and taken advantage of. Indeed, I too agree this could be something to think about.
 
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M

meet_the_fockers

See im damaged lol... i wasnt of course until swinging by here omm...

Good luck.. xxx
 
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Phoenixcouplexx

Phoenixcouplexx

28 December 2016
612
1,350
City
Leicester
Admin said:
Yes I agree. Seen far too many subs get damaged and taken advantage of. Indeed, I too agree this could be something to think about.
Click to expand...

I'll give it some thought and try and get something together and send it to you to give your opinion on. Not sure how much time I'll get as I have a ton on at the moment but we can but try ;)
 
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Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,165
97,253
Phoenixcouplexx said:
I'll give it some thought and try and get something together and send it to you to give your opinion on. Not sure how much time I'll get as I have a ton on at the moment but we can but try ;)
Click to expand...
That's excellent and thank you.. only if you think it is viable. :) (y)
 
Admin

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
39,165
97,253
Stew said:
I think a place or opportunity for a person who thinks they may be sub or wanting to at least discuss it is a great idea, I have seen a lot of subs taken advantage of over the years by wannabe Doms, there is an etiquette to the development of a DS relationship.

I have had subs come to me with questions that they were too embarrassed to ask their Dom.

My opinion of SS is well known, it is by far the most respectful, honest, trustworthy site on the web, and if anyone can lead people in the right direction it is the fabulous people on here, yes the lines between swinging and BDSM continue to blur, but people of both persuasions need a safe place to ask questions, where they won't be ridiculed or taken advantage of.
Click to expand...
Thank you Stew. Not only do I agree with your points raised, I appreciate the very kind and warm feedback. Thank you.

I'll get thinking on some things.
 
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Cande

Cande

16 February 2017
2
24
City
Brighton
I got lucky I met my first Dom 2 years agonon another site and it has been an amazing journey - but I have heard some real horror stories
 
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A

Akardyagain

I'm always up for chatting to fellow subs of whatever gender.

And yeah, it's nice to find a site where you can at least potentially find some BDSM playmates that has good community standards. I've found fetlife to be ok to be honest, good for chatting to people with similar interests even if it's not really a dating or hook up site. But others, like collarspace, are just a hornets nest of scammers and con artists.
 
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