"I'm engaged to a chandelier"
Can the chandlier confirm this?
Justifies herself "It's Ok, my other chandeliers don't get jealous".
I believe you love, cos their fecking CHANDELIERS!
"I can feel their energy."
We call that electricity

and it's probably a bad earth. Call an electrician out and get it fixed

.
I wonder how she would feel about this fella:-
B x