Community Or Hookups...

[Lips_Pearls]

So as some of us know, the Tinder style nature of dating, with FWB type life has damaged swinging as a whole.
Nowadays, it's a case of - "Join a swinging site for quick shag hookups" attitude, which means losing the ethos and nature really, of the essence of swinging being community driven.

We see, I see (as some will know) that swinging is and the site is, more than hookups. Yes yes we all want naughtiness (and that doesn't come in change a letter threads BTW) but we all want friends too don't we?
Friends we can stay in touch with and you know, become more regularly friendly with.
For instance, on our profile we have always stated this;

"We much prefer to find a regular friend than add notches to our bedposts so to speak. We enjoy the familiarity and all that comes with it. Hence the following;
Dynamics and rapport are a must for us.
We are a happily married couple who are deeply in love and very passionate."

So is swinging being ruined by apps and the mindset of quick fuck sites where it's instashag... Is the swinging community, friendliness, saving friends and being close to some people, being lost by this mindset or is swinging lagging behind and maybe we should be more open to the types who want a quick shag and onto the next without any community and friendly 'togetherness'...
What say ye? x

 

[Deleted member 6485]

Social Swinging or Instashag.com....not rocket science really.
Guess thats why we are here, and they are over there somewhere>>>>x

 

[Stew]

Throwing my hat in the ring so to speak, to we need to evolve to grow, and become again the brilliant sexy horny site we once were , not sure in what direction that takes us but maybe the clever people on here can suss that bit out.

It’s s huge market out there and we have a head start !!

 

[Tiger]

For me It’s not just about sex it’s also about being social, creating friendships, having a joke & a laugh, being completely at ease with the people you’re with, this site and the lifestyle gives you the opportunity to explore your sexual fantasies with friends that are open & honest about what they are doing! What we have here is a very warm and welcoming community

Tiger xx

 

[fincon]

So as some of us know, the Tinder style nature of dating, with FWB type life has damaged swinging as a whole.
Nowadays, it's a case of - "Join a swinging site for quick shag hookups" attitude, which means losing the ethos and nature really, of the essence of swinging being community driven.

We see, I see (as some will know) that swinging is and the site is, more than hookups. Yes yes we all want naughtiness (and that doesn't come in change a letter threads BTW) but we all want friends too don't we?
Friends we can stay in touch with and you know, become more regularly friendly with.
For instance, on our profile we have always stated this;

"We much prefer to find a regular friend than add notches to our bedposts so to speak. We enjoy the familiarity and all that comes with it. Hence the following;
Dynamics and rapport are a must for us.
We are a happily married couple who are deeply in love and very passionate."

So is swinging being ruined by apps and the mindset of quick fuck sites where it's instashag... Is the swinging community, friendliness, saving friends and being close to some people, being lost by this mindset or is swinging lagging behind and maybe we should be more open to the types who want a quick shag and onto the next without any community and friendly 'togetherness'...
What say ye? x

It’d be hypocritical of me to answer YES to either of the choices offered, that of ‘friends’ or ‘quick shag’. And I may have my faults, but I at least try not to be hypocritical or to be dishonest here.

(And yes, like all of us, I might keep some stuff private, but I try not to ‘mislead by omission’, if that makes sense…)

I’m here for the online social element of it, the chat, the bit of naughtiness, the ‘being part of the scene but only really, really peripherally. And there’s been no one (nor would I expect there to be) who’s asked for my contact details offsite, nor offered theirs. Again, I wouldn’t expect there to be.

‘Doesn’t that make you a time waster, fincon? Why put pics up - especially risqué pics - if you’re unlikely to meet?’

They’re fair questions; I guess to the former, I hope not; because I don’t pretend to be anything other than what I am. (If something did occur out of the blue, great, but I’m absolutely neither expecting nor anticipating it to, nor am I disappointed or upset that it doesn’t.) As for the pics, well, pretty much everyone else has…

Too much info?

Well, I did say I try not to mislead by omission…

 

[Deleted member 11852]

For me It’s not just about sex it’s also about being social, creating friendships, having a joke & a laugh, being completely at ease with the people you’re with, this site and the lifestyle gives you the opportunity to explore your sexual fantasies with friends that are open & honest about what they are doing! What we have here is a very warm and welcoming community

Tiger xx

Totally agree xx

 

[Deleted member 8095]

The best bit about Ss for moi, is the ability to chat with people, build a rapport, also to build the anticipation and get to know the person or people behind the profiles, thus leading to a generally better liaison if/when it does happen, Now quickfuck.com is something completely different, that is in my opinion, an extension of what most of us would have done in our teens and early 20's, find someone half decent and fumble until you were done, enjoying no connection with the other person at all.

Me myself as an individual, I'd rather enjoy 1, 2 or 3 liaisons a year but good liaisons, where we all leave happy and satisfied rather than a quickie round the back of the local !!

Paul xx

 

[Looby&Lew]

Whilst I agree totally with the ethos of this site, and for me if there is no connection there is nothing else going on either, I do think that despite best efforts there will always be that element looking for a quick shag. This may be a sweeping generalisation but I'm going to say it anyway.....user names can often sum up what people are about x

 

[Lips_Pearls]

It’d be hypocritical of me to answer YES to either of the choices offered, that of ‘friends’ or ‘quick shag’. And I may have my faults, but I at least try not to be hypocritical or to be dishonest here.

(And yes, like all of us, I might keep some stuff private, but I try not to ‘mislead by omission’, if that makes sense…)

I’m here for the online social element of it, the chat, the bit of naughtiness, the ‘being part of the scene but only really, really peripherally. And there’s been no one (nor would I expect there to be) who’s asked for my contact details offsite, nor offered theirs. Again, I wouldn’t expect there to be.

‘Doesn’t that make you a time waster, fincon? Why put pics up - especially risqué pics - if you’re unlikely to meet?’

They’re fair questions; I guess to the former, I hope not; because I don’t pretend to be anything other than what I am. (If something did occur out of the blue, great, but I’m absolutely neither expecting nor anticipating it to, nor am I disappointed or upset that it doesn’t.) As for the pics, well, pretty much everyone else has…

Too much info?

Well, I did say I try not to mislead by omission…

Yeah... nah.. But..
You've always been very open about this and I find that a great quality. Heart on sleeve attitude.

Interesting replies peeps. x

 

[fincon]

Yeah... nah.. But..
You've always been very open about this and I find that a great quality. Heart on sleeve attitude.

Thanks… it’s a mark of how open the site is that no-one has a problem with me still hanging around, if not like a bad penny, well at last as part of the furniture x

 

[Deleted member 11852]

Thanks… it’s a mark of how open the site is that no-one has a problem with me still hanging around, if not like a bad penny, well at last as part of the furniture x

Why would anyone have a problem with it. You are open and honest about it. Xx

 

[fincon]

Why would anyone have a problem with it. You are open and honest about it. Xx

Precisely because my position, for want of a better word, could easily be seen as either that of a timewaster or someone who wants the ‘rights’ of membership without the obligations.

(And yes, I speak from experience, though not experience here, which was the point.)

 

[Nigel&Julie]

( and that doesn't come in change a letter threads BTW)

18 alerts, 15 of them were change a letter or the word game, ffs N

 

[Lips_Pearls]

18 alerts, 15 of them were change a letter or the word game, ffs N

Meh...
They have purpose, but take over & I feel the general consensus is, it's too comfortable.

 

[Leonidas480]

18 alerts, 15 of them were change a letter or the word game, ffs N

Where's the Agree button when you need it!
@Admin any way to filter out word game updates? I'm not here for that

 

[Admin]

Where's the Agree button when you need it!
@Admin any way to filter out word game updates? I'm not here for that

Not as of present, but it's something we're working on. In our major update coming this year, within the next few months, I will include an option for members to be able to ignore posts/threads. Therefore they will not show as new posts in your feeds and new threads.
I can do a workaround now, but that means it will never show for all in 'new posts' which is not ideal really.

 

[Stew]

But the point is people do the word and TV games because there’s nothing else happenning , where are the sexy threads , the quiz nights , the flirty question threads

We have all put on our slippers and sit in our arm chairs waiting for stuff to come to us ! In the old days when I was here before this site was buzzing with horny people and sexual tension

It’s a sex site not an old people’s home ffs we will be having bingo next !!!

 

[Colin]

Open those gorgeous legs eleven :devil:

 

[Leonidas480]

But the point is people do the word and TV games because there’s nothing else happenning , where are the sexy threads , the quiz nights , the flirty question threads

We have all put on our slippers and sit in our arm chairs waiting for stuff to come to us ! In the old days when I was here before this site was buzzing with horny people and sexual tension

It’s a sex site not an old people’s home ffs we will be having bingo next !!!

I fully agree Stew!!!

However, at the same time, it's up to each of us as individuals to make the site what we want it to be.

I've just created a thread on masquerade parties, for example, let's see if it grows any legs.....

 

[MP386]

So as some of us know, the Tinder style nature of dating, with FWB type life has damaged swinging as a whole.
Nowadays, it's a case of - "Join a swinging site for quick shag hookups" attitude, which means losing the ethos and nature really, of the essence of swinging being community driven.

We see, I see (as some will know) that swinging is and the site is, more than hookups. Yes yes we all want naughtiness (and that doesn't come in change a letter threads BTW) but we all want friends too don't we?
Friends we can stay in touch with and you know, become more regularly friendly with.
For instance, on our profile we have always stated this;

"We much prefer to find a regular friend than add notches to our bedposts so to speak. We enjoy the familiarity and all that comes with it. Hence the following;
Dynamics and rapport are a must for us.
We are a happily married couple who are deeply in love and very passionate."

So is swinging being ruined by apps and the mindset of quick fuck sites where it's instashag... Is the swinging community, friendliness, saving friends and being close to some people, being lost by this mindset or is swinging lagging behind and maybe we should be more open to the types who want a quick shag and onto the next without any community and friendly 'togetherness'...
What say ye? x

When I joined I really had no idea what swinging was about , yes I have met some fantastic people since being here ..
I had hoped to meet people who may want more regular meetings still working on that ...it adds to the experience if you get to know people better as we know somethings need a bond of trust if you like before experimenting with them so my question is isn’t swinging in some respects meeting friends and with that benefits added ?
Have to agree with @Stew remarks about how the site used to be ...
I would agree that word games are not the way forward what is I’m not sure ...
The weekend is approaching and with any luck naughtiness which came about through a post on a thread which lead to conversations which has resulted in a rendezvous being planned...
Don’t think swinging is lagging behind it has its place ...it’s just a different mind set to just wanting a quick shag ...sex is always better if you have a connection with the person your doing it with ....well I think it is .

 

[Deleted member 11852]

When I joined I really had no idea what swinging was about , yes I have met some fantastic people since being here ..
I had hoped to meet people who may want more regular meetings still working on that ...it adds to the experience if you get to know people better as we know somethings need a bond of trust if you like before experimenting with them so my question is isn’t swinging in some respects meeting friends and with that benefits added ?
Have to agree with @Stew remarks about how the site used to be ...
I would agree that word games are not the way forward what is I’m not sure ...
The weekend is approaching and with any luck naughtiness which came about through a post on a thread which lead to conversations which has resulted in a rendezvous being planned...
Don’t think swinging is lagging behind it has its place ...it’s just a different mind set to just wanting a quick shag ...sex is always better if you have a connection with the person your doing it with ....well I think it is .

I totally agree, there should be some connection and trust for a meet to take place. Getting to know the people you are meeting, even if it is through messages, is better than meeting up without any conversation beforehand. Can’t wait for our first meet. It’s all about meeting new people and if you have a real good connection and things come of it its a bonus xx

 

[Stew]

I totally agree, there should be some connection and trust for a meet to take place. Getting to know the people you are meeting, even if it is through messages, is better than meeting up without any conversation beforehand. Can’t wait for our first meet. It’s all about meeting new people and if you have a real good connection and things come of it its a bonus xx

Very true , and I sincerely hope your first meet delivers all you both want x

 

[Deleted member 11852]

Very true , and I sincerely hope your first meet delivers all you both want x

Thank you xx

 

[Colin]

The weekend is approaching and with any luck naughtiness which came about through a post on a thread which lead to conversations which has resulted in a rendezvous being planned...
.

Can’t wait for our first meet. It’s all about meeting new people and if you have a real good connection and things come of it its a bonus xx

Good Luck to you all :threesumy)

 

[Louise94]

So as some of us know, the Tinder style nature of dating, with FWB type life has damaged swinging as a whole.
Nowadays, it's a case of - "Join a swinging site for quick shag hookups" attitude, which means losing the ethos and nature really, of the essence of swinging being community driven.

We see, I see (as some will know) that swinging is and the site is, more than hookups. Yes yes we all want naughtiness (and that doesn't come in change a letter threads BTW) but we all want friends too don't we?
Friends we can stay in touch with and you know, become more regularly friendly with.
For instance, on our profile we have always stated this;

"We much prefer to find a regular friend than add notches to our bedposts so to speak. We enjoy the familiarity and all that comes with it. Hence the following;
Dynamics and rapport are a must for us.
We are a happily married couple who are deeply in love and very passionate."

So is swinging being ruined by apps and the mindset of quick fuck sites where it's instashag... Is the swinging community, friendliness, saving friends and being close to some people, being lost by this mindset or is swinging lagging behind and maybe we should be more open to the types who want a quick shag and onto the next without any community and friendly 'togetherness'...
What say ye? x

So, I’m coming to this thread with no practical knowledge of swinging but, of course, I’ll offer my tuppence worth anyway. It’s probably not even worth that much...

This site, particularly, for me has so much appeal precisely because of it’s sense of community.
As a SG, I don’t usually find myself able to express my sexuality fully with a quick fuck and after a series of quick fucks it can all just seem a little...cold? (Maybe that’s just a lack of assertiveness I need to work on?)
Also as a SG, I can’t deny the benefits of being part of a community. For one, it’s much safer to jump into bed with people you do know. Being part of a group encourages everyone to treat people better. Plus, for me, knowing someone better and feeling comfortable with them means I’m more able to explore something new.
It’s all too easy to go out and pick someone up but I joined because I wanted to make the effort to connect, make friends and I wanted to learn.

I don’t know how to strike the balance between sexy and social (I.e. with word game threads etc.) but I do think they serve a purpose as there’s opportunities for different kinds of conversations and fun. Plus, as a newbie it’s a way to ease yourself in gently.

Also, if it was just sexy threads all the time, I’d probably be horny, highly impulsive and probably make some ridiculous snap decisions due to being stuck in my lizard brain.