Community Or Hookups...

[Lips_Pearls]

So, I’m coming to this thread with no practical knowledge of swinging but, of course, I’ll offer my tuppence worth anyway. It’s probably not even worth that much...

This site, particularly, for me has so much appeal precisely because of it’s sense of community.
As a SG, I don’t usually find myself able to express my sexuality fully with a quick fuck and after a series of quick fucks it can all just seem a little...cold? (Maybe that’s just a lack of assertiveness I need to work on?)
Also as a SG, I can’t deny the benefits of being part of a community. For one, it’s much safer to jump into bed with people you do know. Being part of a group encourages everyone to treat people better. Plus, for me, knowing someone better and feeling comfortable with them means I’m more able to explore something new.
It’s all too easy to go out and pick someone up but I joined because I wanted to make the effort to connect, make friends and I wanted to learn.

I don’t know how to strike the balance between sexy and social (I.e. with word game threads etc.) but I do think they serve a purpose as there’s opportunities for different kinds of conversations and fun. Plus, as a newbie it’s a way to ease yourself in gently.

Also, if it was just sexy threads all the time, I’d probably be horny, highly impulsive and probably make some ridiculous snap decisions due to being stuck in my lizard brain.

Yah it's always a lil tricky, but I find just being yourself is best.
I could write a bit more about pre-3sum build up & fun but it would possibly bore some, so the best thing I could personally advise - and it is only from personal perspective, is be yourself and just enjoy the flow.
That's how we do things if I'm honest. We don't have set lines.. we just go with the flow.
It's worked for us thus far. xx

 

[Lanelad]

Can we just say as newbies to the whole scene, that this site and it's ethos towards the lifestyle is what helped us make our decision to go down this road. The kind, supportive, nurturing and openness the site offers is a genuinely lovely thing. Whilst we cant speak of what things were like in the past we can say that what happens here makes us want to make new friends first to have fun later, and not the other way around.

We have talked about making relationships that benefit us not just sexually but on a personal level too. We really like what we are doing and feel it will only get better once we speak to more of you.

 

[Larco]

New to this site looking for advice and direction

 

[Ahabs]

Hey all, my first post back after work absence so finding my finger again so bear withme while I try to organise my rambled thoughts...

For me, I have never seen swinging as hook-ups. While I admit to being an experienced swinger, I also have no shame in saying I have never been "one of the lads" to go "out on the pull". Truth be told, I have never had a (non-swinging) one night stand: for whatever reason, its not just been me - I prefer to strike up some connection with someone I intend to make "the beasts with two backss with", instead of the "any hole is a goal" that is so often portrayed via instashag.com

Saying that, when it comes to striking a connection, yes I do struggle. In part I don't know what people want (and I;m not forward or pushy enough to find out), and I certainly dont try enough to put my best foot forward. So what some may sometimes see as me "sitting back" and hence mistakenly thinking I'm "waiting for it to come to me", that's me just saying "its al ot easier to find out about me than it is for me to find out about you". I will have a conversatino with anyone, and will make the time for a chat, even when I jhave things on, but as I do tend to constantly have offline activities on (and being a virgo), I've never been one for much patience for anything: sitting about chatting endlessly for months to me has never come across as sexy. If anything, I have this voice going on in the back of my mind that says "she's keeping you on side while weighing up her options, if all else fails, you'll end up as the in-case-of-emergency-break-glass-cock... again".

So yeah, as a guy, its a tricky game to play. Go in too hard and can be seen as too keep or too thirsty. Go in to non-chalant and can be seen as uninterested and too "arm-chair swinger", However its all part and parcel of being in the community: you take the rough and the smooth, and celebrate every occasion that comes your way.

 

[Therapon]

New to this site looking for advice and direction

I'm not quite sure what you are asking but if you mean advice and direction about swinging then take a look at the Articles
which will give you some insight and you can always post a question in the forums.

 

[Pearls]

Meh...
They have purpose, but take over & I feel the general consensus is, it's too comfortable.

Fully agree

 

[Ahabs]

I was gonna post something here, but seems a version of me time travelled and beat me to it.