Okay; Confession (and a long arsed post, so forgive me, context is perhaps everything). For a while now I have had a "thing" for a former colleague. We worked together some 5 years or so past and she lives not too far away (In Devon distances).
Since I left our place of work; I have seen her infrequently; we both used to take time of work and meet each other for lunch; nothing inappropriate just friends chatting and the like. I have always been very open with her about the type of man I am, and I think in a way, I amuse her. She has been in a long-term relationship with an older guy (by about 15 or 20 years I guess, not that it's relevant).
Now I have always been "playful" with my words on our lunchtime get togethers; and I would never had said "no"; but i have never pushed the issue; mostly I don't like to get jumbled up in other peoples relationships and, having been cheated on in the past, know the damage it can cause.
A year or so back she confided in me that their intimate life was terrible, and that she had found messages on his phone from a female member of their hiking group; that whilst not being explicit; used language she was uncomfortable with. Now before you think it; I didn't pounce and take advantage; I told her she had to stop looking at his phone, as their was no context to the messages and that if she wanted to improve their intimate relationship; she should be frank with him and ask him what he liked, explain what she liked and offer to experiment; my rationale was that any non-cheating man would jump at this chance; whilst a cheat would remain remote.
Anyway, it all worked out, I guess, as she stopped mentioning issues and I didn't ask. At our last meeting she admitted that she had never told her partner about our lunchtimes "he wouldn't understand" was the response; we even went out for dinner once when he was away. Again i was playful but respectful.
The problem is, that I now desire to seduce her, and well you know......It's a purely selfish desire but it is sometimes unbearably strong; I have even made some nuanced, subtle moves, delicate body contact when we meet etc.
The question is, am I being evil? Once I have had my wicked way I am liable to lose interest, as I want no part in an affair.... But and heres the doozy, I have never desired to fuck someone so much as I desire to fuck her....and I can see myself moving beyond my usual boundaries (and imploding a good friendship at the same time); just a scratch my itch, so to speak.
Answers on a postcard
Since I left our place of work; I have seen her infrequently; we both used to take time of work and meet each other for lunch; nothing inappropriate just friends chatting and the like. I have always been very open with her about the type of man I am, and I think in a way, I amuse her. She has been in a long-term relationship with an older guy (by about 15 or 20 years I guess, not that it's relevant).
Now I have always been "playful" with my words on our lunchtime get togethers; and I would never had said "no"; but i have never pushed the issue; mostly I don't like to get jumbled up in other peoples relationships and, having been cheated on in the past, know the damage it can cause.
A year or so back she confided in me that their intimate life was terrible, and that she had found messages on his phone from a female member of their hiking group; that whilst not being explicit; used language she was uncomfortable with. Now before you think it; I didn't pounce and take advantage; I told her she had to stop looking at his phone, as their was no context to the messages and that if she wanted to improve their intimate relationship; she should be frank with him and ask him what he liked, explain what she liked and offer to experiment; my rationale was that any non-cheating man would jump at this chance; whilst a cheat would remain remote.
Anyway, it all worked out, I guess, as she stopped mentioning issues and I didn't ask. At our last meeting she admitted that she had never told her partner about our lunchtimes "he wouldn't understand" was the response; we even went out for dinner once when he was away. Again i was playful but respectful.
The problem is, that I now desire to seduce her, and well you know......It's a purely selfish desire but it is sometimes unbearably strong; I have even made some nuanced, subtle moves, delicate body contact when we meet etc.
The question is, am I being evil? Once I have had my wicked way I am liable to lose interest, as I want no part in an affair.... But and heres the doozy, I have never desired to fuck someone so much as I desire to fuck her....and I can see myself moving beyond my usual boundaries (and imploding a good friendship at the same time); just a scratch my itch, so to speak.
Answers on a postcard
xx
