Desperately Seeking...

[Deleted member 120]

Are you someone who comes online, and sends every single account a message? Like a Gatling gun.. Spray n pray.. hoping at least ONE will respond...

Or are you more reserved and patient..

I think we're (or I am anyway LOL) more reserved and kind of take our time to suss things out. Of course some have been instantaneous, but mostly not rushed.
Just too chilled for that.

What about peeps who hammer any account they can find?

Desperate? Or just trying their luck... x

 

[Kwaka_Rider]

Are you someone who comes online, and sends every single account a message? Like a Gatling gun.. Spray n pray.. hoping at least ONE will respond...

Law of averages innit bruv

 

[Deleted member 120]

Law of averages innit bruv

It is. Or can be, depends who you (generic) are I guess me ole fruit.
Some are just spammy.. Others are just doing whatever it takes to make it through the day.

 

[Kwaka_Rider]

It is. Or can be, depends who you (generic) are I guess me ole fruit.
Some are just spammy.. Others are just doing whatever it takes to make it through the day.

Yeah with you on that thought

 

[Colin]

Very rare i message someone i think i have messaged 1 couple and a couple of single ladies bit shy to make first comtact

 

[Pearls]

I do ?

 

[Skippy01]

If it works in your favour then fairplay.I find it a tiny bit desperate,and disrespectful to anyone you would message,but I can see the logic, to get noticed.I just wouldn't want to be noticed for the wrong reasons x

 

[MP386]

I message some and not others …. Generally as a rule not many reply … ?

 

[Ymichael14]

I am new here.
Just browsing and figuring out the site.
But this post caught my eye.
I am in the US so i will probably never meet any of you.
I came to this site hoping to find someone that could tell me what i am doing wrong.
I constantly meet and date and have sex with women who are into this lifestyle, but they wont let me join them.
They will tell me all about the other people they were with, show me videos, promise to give me a threesome, even introduce me to the future third person, but the adventure never happens.
So if i messaged everybody in this group, it would be out of desperation.
When you are always on the outside of the party looking in, wondering what you are doing wrong, you become desperate.

 

[Firm hand Luke]

Wait. You can message people on here?

 

[Deleted member 120]

Wait. You can message people on here?

Of course! ??

 

[Pearls]

I am new here.
Just browsing and figuring out the site.
But this post caught my eye.
I am in the US so i will probably never meet any of you.
I came to this site hoping to find someone that could tell me what i am doing wrong.
I constantly meet and date and have sex with women who are into this lifestyle, but they wont let me join them.
They will tell me all about the other people they were with, show me videos, promise to give me a threesome, even introduce me to the future third person, but the adventure never happens.
So if i messaged everybody in this group, it would be out of desperation.
When you are always on the outside of the party looking in, wondering what you are doing wrong, you become desperate.

That situation sounds a little suspicious to me, has there been any money mentioned in these meet ups?

 

[Ymichael14]

That situation sounds a little suspicious to me, has there been any money mentioned in these meet ups?

No meet ups.
These were all real women that i dated or otherwise involved with.
After getting to know them i would find out, or figure out, or they would ask me if i was into swinging or invite me to join them.
The worse one was a friend with benefits for 5 years. She wanted to switch to a serious relationship. Which to her meant i would stay home while she went out swinging. And she couldn't understand why i wasn't interested.
Then there was the woman i worked with for years. She was married, i had a girlfriend. We were just friends at work. She got divorced, dated a guy who talked her into a threesome with his friend. She loved it. Told me all about it.
She leaves him about the same time my girlfriend left. We get together. She agrees to do a threesome with me, but every time i find someone or ask her to ask someone she knows, she has some reason why she doesn't like them.
She even went to the extreme , while she was dating me ,of telling me that when she was with her boyfriend, he wanted a threesome with a guy he didn't know, and she considered asking me.
Im hoping to meet someone here who has experienced this and understands why it happens and can explain it to me.
I understand not wanting to swing with a new spouse for whatever reason. We all change as we age and go through different experiences.
But if you are a woman who spends your ten year marriage swinging with your husband and love it, now you get divorced and meet me and no longer want to swing, why would you tell me about your past swinging life and show me your videos ?
At the very least, if you have no intention of swinging with me, start the conversation with " here is something i tried but would never do again".

 

[Deleted member 120]

No meet ups.
These were all real women that i dated or otherwise involved with.
After getting to know them i would find out, or figure out, or they would ask me if i was into swinging or invite me to join them.
The worse one was a friend with benefits for 5 years. She wanted to switch to a serious relationship. Which to her meant i would stay home while she went out swinging. And she couldn't understand why i wasn't interested.
Then there was the woman i worked with for years. She was married, i had a girlfriend. We were just friends at work. She got divorced, dated a guy who talked her into a threesome with his friend. She loved it. Told me all about it.
She leaves him about the same time my girlfriend left. We get together. She agrees to do a threesome with me, but every time i find someone or ask her to ask someone she knows, she has some reason why she doesn't like them.
She even went to the extreme , while she was dating me ,of telling me that when she was with her boyfriend, he wanted a threesome with a guy he didn't know, and she considered asking me.
Im hoping to meet someone here who has experienced this and understands why it happens and can explain it to me.
I understand not wanting to swing with a new spouse for whatever reason. We all change as we age and go through different experiences.
But if you are a woman who spends your ten year marriage swinging with your husband and love it, now you get divorced and meet me and no longer want to swing, why would you tell me about your past swinging life and show me your videos ?
At the very least, if you have no intention of swinging with me, start the conversation with " here is something i tried but would never do again".

That’s a conundrum right there alright.

 

[mrclouse]

No meet ups.
These were all real women that i dated or otherwise involved with.
After getting to know them i would find out, or figure out, or they would ask me if i was into swinging or invite me to join them.
The worse one was a friend with benefits for 5 years. She wanted to switch to a serious relationship. Which to her meant i would stay home while she went out swinging. And she couldn't understand why i wasn't interested.
Then there was the woman i worked with for years. She was married, i had a girlfriend. We were just friends at work. She got divorced, dated a guy who talked her into a threesome with his friend. She loved it. Told me all about it.
She leaves him about the same time my girlfriend left. We get together. She agrees to do a threesome with me, but every time i find someone or ask her to ask someone she knows, she has some reason why she doesn't like them.
She even went to the extreme , while she was dating me ,of telling me that when she was with her boyfriend, he wanted a threesome with a guy he didn't know, and she considered asking me.
Im hoping to meet someone here who has experienced this and understands why it happens and can explain it to me.
I understand not wanting to swing with a new spouse for whatever reason. We all change as we age and go through different experiences.
But if you are a woman who spends your ten year marriage swinging with your husband and love it, now you get divorced and meet me and no longer want to swing, why would you tell me about your past swinging life and show me your videos ?
At the very least, if you have no intention of swinging with me, start the conversation with " here is something i tried but would never do again".

it would seem to me that you need to have an open honest talk with your partner and bring up your concerns, Although I'm literally the worst person to ask as i don't have longterm relationship exp


i like to think im reserved and i try to be BUT there are points in my life where hornyness or loneliness gets the better of me and i spam everyone within a 10mile radius from DMs to telegrams

 

[MaleMan]

I like to connect with people first if I can I don't think I've messaged anyone yet but always up for a chat

 

[Tiger]

No meet ups.
These were all real women that i dated or otherwise involved with.
After getting to know them i would find out, or figure out, or they would ask me if i was into swinging or invite me to join them.
The worse one was a friend with benefits for 5 years. She wanted to switch to a serious relationship. Which to her meant i would stay home while she went out swinging. And she couldn't understand why i wasn't interested.
Then there was the woman i worked with for years. She was married, i had a girlfriend. We were just friends at work. She got divorced, dated a guy who talked her into a threesome with his friend. She loved it. Told me all about it.
She leaves him about the same time my girlfriend left. We get together. She agrees to do a threesome with me, but every time i find someone or ask her to ask someone she knows, she has some reason why she doesn't like them.
She even went to the extreme , while she was dating me ,of telling me that when she was with her boyfriend, he wanted a threesome with a guy he didn't know, and she considered asking me.
Im hoping to meet someone here who has experienced this and understands why it happens and can explain it to me.
I understand not wanting to swing with a new spouse for whatever reason. We all change as we age and go through different experiences.
But if you are a woman who spends your ten year marriage swinging with your husband and love it, now you get divorced and meet me and no longer want to swing, why would you tell me about your past swinging life and show me your videos ?
At the very least, if you have no intention of swinging with me, start the conversation with " here is something i tried but would never do again".

In short, you've been put in the friends zone, you're being used for validation, because you are dependable you're no longer a challenge.

 

[NotSoFireproof]

No meet ups.
These were all real women that i dated or otherwise involved with.
After getting to know them i would find out, or figure out, or they would ask me if i was into swinging or invite me to join them.
The worse one was a friend with benefits for 5 years. She wanted to switch to a serious relationship. Which to her meant i would stay home while she went out swinging. And she couldn't understand why i wasn't interested.
Then there was the woman i worked with for years. She was married, i had a girlfriend. We were just friends at work. She got divorced, dated a guy who talked her into a threesome with his friend. She loved it. Told me all about it.
She leaves him about the same time my girlfriend left. We get together. She agrees to do a threesome with me, but every time i find someone or ask her to ask someone she knows, she has some reason why she doesn't like them.
She even went to the extreme , while she was dating me ,of telling me that when she was with her boyfriend, he wanted a threesome with a guy he didn't know, and she considered asking me.
Im hoping to meet someone here who has experienced this and understands why it happens and can explain it to me.
I understand not wanting to swing with a new spouse for whatever reason. We all change as we age and go through different experiences.
But if you are a woman who spends your ten year marriage swinging with your husband and love it, now you get divorced and meet me and no longer want to swing, why would you tell me about your past swinging life and show me your videos ?
At the very least, if you have no intention of swinging with me, start the conversation with " here is something i tried but would never do again".

In the case with the coworker that you got to dating - why were you finding someone/ asking someone to ask her? Why were you not looking for someone together, or why wasn't she looking, if she was as interested as you seem she was?

If I had been in that situation I would have felt like I was being pressured into it. Just because I've expressed an interest in something, or have experience with something with a previous partner, that doesn't mean I'd feel comfortable picking up where I left it with a new partner.

 

[Ymichael14]

In the case with the coworker that you got to dating - why were you finding someone/ asking someone to ask her? Why were you not looking for someone together, or why wasn't she looking, if she was as interested as you seem she was?

If I had been in that situation I would have felt like I was being pressured into it. Just because I've expressed an interest in something, or have experience with something with a previous partner, that doesn't mean I'd feel comfortable picking up where I left it with a new partner.

Not sure which one you mean, they were both co- workers.
One had a boyfriend when i first met her, the other one we started seeing each other almost as soon as she started working with me .
The first one (Shirley) said she wanted to do it with me.
First as the third with her current boyfriend then when we were dating, me and her as a couple.
It was her idea.
She knew i was interested because of how i reacted when she told me her boyfriend had talked her into her, him and his friend.
As for not wanting to do it with a new boyfriend, i get that.
But in that case it would be me finding out she did it with a past boyfriend and now i was trying to talk her into doing it with me.
The second one (Nanci) told me upfront she didn't want a boyfriend. She enjoyed swinging. After a very short time she said she wanted to include me. Then she would introduce me to men and women That she knew and ask me if i would interested in joining them. She also asked me if there was anyone i knew that i wanted to invite.
If it wasn't for the photos and videos that she would show me of her swinging, i would have guessed she was nuts. Delusional.

 

[Ymichael14]

In short, you've been put in the friends zone, you're being used for validation, because you are dependable you're no longer a challenge.

Ok.
So how do happily married couples swing?
How do they avoid the friend zone?
Do women only swing with guys they don't like?
The ones they like they make stay home with the kids while they swing with the guys they dont like?

it would seem to me that you need to have an open honest talk with your partner and bring up your concerns, Although I'm literally the worst person to ask as i don't have longterm relationship exp


i like to think im reserved and i try to be BUT there are points in my life where hornyness or loneliness gets the better of me and i spam everyone within a 10mile radius from DMs to telegrams

They are not partners.
Haven't talked to Shirley in years. Nanci i still see on Facebook book. She moved out of my area years ago.
Still sends photos and videos of her swinging.
Im just wondering what to do if i ever meet another women that is into swinging.
Maybe i should pretend im not interested and let them talk me into it.

 

[Tiger]

Ok.
So how do happily married couples swing?
How do they avoid the friend zone?
Do women only swing with guys they don't like?
The ones they like they make stay home with the kids while they swing with the guys they dont like?

"How do happily married couples swing?" i wouldn't know, I'm not married! i'll let the married couples answer that one.

"How do they avoid the friend zone?" As with any relationship, it's all about communication and setting boundaries, if you don't they will walk all over you!

In response to your other questions! i don't have the answers to them.