Seeking advice

[Ymichael14]

Im from the US.
I would love to try swinging but i cant find anyone that is into it. I got close 20 years ago. I dated two women that were into it but they wouldn't do it with me .
I would love to meet a woman that is into it and marry her and do it as a couple. I would love to find a woman that would share her lifestyle with me.
Every social i see over here is highly restricted. Strict height, weight, age, education and good looks requirements. They are only for the young and rich that look like movie stars and can have deep discussions about Plato. I need something for average people. Does anybody know of any place in the US where i can meet women who are into this lifestyle? I would love to just hang out and talk even if i don't find anyone interested in me. Or do you have any suggestions as to where i would have a better chance of meeting someone? Where do you find swingers? For couples, how did you meet?
Every site i try online is nothing but spam. Or people who contact me but they are 1,000 miles away or , according to their profile i am not even close to what they are looking for so i have no idea why they contact me.
When you are at a place that is not for swingers, say a family resort, how can you tell who to approach to see if they are interested? A friend told me she went with her boyfriend to a local nudist resort and found a guy for a threesome without a problem. On the website it says it is a family resort , they are not about sex, and they throw you out if you look for sex. I have never been approached by a couple at a resort, never even asked if i might be interested. Never even saw it happen to the guy next to me. Is there ike a secret handshake or something? I would like to find a woman who liked me enough to give mee a threesome , but i will take just being the third with a couple who just wanted the sex and didn't want to talk or hang out.
Any advice?

 

[Pearls]

This is another as you say desperate post. You have done others and received many replies offering advice so my advice would be involve yourself, make a profile and start talking. Random desperate posts like this just look like spammer to me.

 

[Ymichael14]

This is another as you say desperate post. You have done others and received many replies offering advice so my advice would be involve yourself, make a profile and start talking. Random desperate posts like this just look like spammer to me.

I dont know what you think a spammer would gain by these posts.
I dont know how a profile on a site in a country a few thousand miles away will help me.
I doubt anyone i meet here will fly me to England for the weekend.
I thought random, desperate posts would be the least annoying to others.
But, i will try anything to figure out what i am doing wrong ,so i will take your advice and make a profile and start talking.
Thank you .

 

[Kwaka_Rider]

I don't know what you think a spammer would gain by these posts.
I don't know how a profile on a site in a country a few thousand miles away will help me.
I doubt anyone i meet here will fly me to England for the weekend.
I thought random, desperate posts would be the least annoying to others.
But, i will try anything to figure out what i am doing wrong ,so i will take your advice and make a profile and start talking.
Thank you .

For a start there are other members from the States, so instead of creating a post like you have with a profile of nothing, take the advice, create the profile, use the search facility for members in the U S of A and approach them with a nice hello message on their profiles.

Now the above may not get you a meet but at the least a possibility of getting to know some from the American community which may open other avenues.

 

[Ymichael14]

For a start there are other members from the States, so instead of creating a post like you have with a profile of nothing, take the advice, create the profile, use the search facility for members in the U S of A and approach them with a nice hello message on their profiles.

Now the above may not get you a meet but at the least a possibility of getting to know some from the American community which may open other avenues.

How do you search for people from the US ?
I dont see that option in the search box.

 

[Ymichael14]

How do you search for people from the US ?
I dont see that option in the search box.

Nevermind, i found it.
I was looking at a forum search.
Thank you

 

[Ymichael14]

Well, that was depressing.
I searched for a woman, couple MF, couple FF and i even tried gay guys even though i dont want a gay guy.
Only found one person in the US and she hasn't been seen since 2018.
And you wonder why my posts are desperate.

 

[Deleted member 8095]

Your posts are desperate because you are desperate: to get straight down to the fun stuff BUT don't be fooled into thinking that swinging is a free for all swap-a-thon because it is normally very far from that!
OK so some pointers and feel free to ignore them as that's your right:
Swinging for a lot of people is about the other person having that x factor, that something extra that makes you want to pursue them sexually, if you appear desperate (despite the reasons) do you think someone would click with that vibe??

Your on a predominantly UK based site, so perhaps you could spend sometime researching your local scene - Google and local adult book stores would be a good starting point.

Perhaps spend your time here honing your communication skills, learning to communicate and understand the nuances of the scene. That Is something I'd suggest.

Finally and probably most importantly, consider why you're in such a rush. It's meant to be fun , an adventure even but certainly not a race. Good luck with your adventure.

 

[Ymichael14]

As much as i would love a free for all swap-a-thon, like in a porn movie, none of the swingers i have dated or have been friends with but was not thier type, have ever mentioned a free for all swap-a-thon, so i can assume it probably does happen, but it is the exception, not the rule.
I have been pursued by swingers. I have slept with swingers. I have dated swingers. They just wont swing with me for reasons i do not understand. One said it was because she fell in love with me. So i guess she only swings with people she hates. I make friends with swingers all the time at work. we get along great, i love hearing about their experiences. But i am always the wrong age or race or whatever.
I tried being nice and making friends and dating and now i am trying desperation. I know there are straight women that will sleep with an adult virgin man just because they feel sorry for him or want to be first.
Maybe i will find a woman or couple that have a desperate threesome virgin fantasy.
Im on a UK site because everything in the US is spam or heavily restricted. Few groups or socials or websites will even consider a single man. All require you to be highly educated, movie star looks and very rich. This is the only site i have every found with normal people that i can talk to. Maybe someone here will know of a group in the US that i can join. Maybe someone here can figure out why swingers will date me and sleep with me and like me, but wont let me into their lifestyle. I guess they expect me to sit at home and watch the kids while they swing.
That is why i am here.
And, I love your tea. I dated a British citizen that taught me how to brew loose tea in a Brown Betty.
Pearls already suggested interacting with members and i have started responding to posts that were seeking advice.
I also read the posts that i don't have any experience with, maybe i will learn something.
Im in a rush because i will be 62 at the end of November.
I am quickly approaching the age where because of medicine or a disease, i can no longer have sex.
I have been trying to experience this lifestyle for my entire adult life.
I want to experience this lifestyle just once before i die.
I am running out of time.
It is easy for you, im sure you have been swinging for years and you can swing whenever you want. You could probably find a playmate if you were stranded on a deserted island.
I couldn't find a playmate if i was the only man at a nymphomaniacs convention.
Please do not take anything in my response to mean i dont want to hear your opinion.
I have no idea what i am doing wrong and i will gladly consider the advice of anyone on the inside.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.

 

[Deleted member 8095]

As much as i would love a free for all swap-a-thon, like in a porn movie, none of the swingers i have dated or have been friends with but was not thier type, have ever mentioned a free for all swap-a-thon, so i can assume it probably does happen, but it is the exception, not the rule.
I have been pursued by swingers. I have slept with swingers. I have dated swingers. They just wont swing with me for reasons i do not understand. One said it was because she fell in love with me. So i guess she only swings with people she hates. I make friends with swingers all the time at work. we get along great, i love hearing about their experiences. But i am always the wrong age or race or whatever.
I tried being nice and making friends and dating and now i am trying desperation. I know there are straight women that will sleep with an adult virgin man just because they feel sorry for him or want to be first.
Maybe i will find a woman or couple that have a desperate threesome virgin fantasy.
Im on a UK site because everything in the US is spam or heavily restricted. Few groups or socials or websites will even consider a single man. All require you to be highly educated, movie star looks and very rich. This is the only site i have every found with normal people that i can talk to. Maybe someone here will know of a group in the US that i can join. Maybe someone here can figure out why swingers will date me and sleep with me and like me, but wont let me into their lifestyle. I guess they expect me to sit at home and watch the kids while they swing.
That is why i am here.
And, I love your tea. I dated a British citizen that taught me how to brew loose tea in a Brown Betty.
Pearls already suggested interacting with members and i have started responding to posts that were seeking advice.
I also read the posts that i don't have any experience with, maybe i will learn something.
Im in a rush because i will be 62 at the end of November.
I am quickly approaching the age where because of medicine or a disease, i can no longer have sex.
I have been trying to experience this lifestyle for my entire adult life.
I want to experience this lifestyle just once before i die.
I am running out of time.
It is easy for you, im sure you have been swinging for years and you can swing whenever you want. You could probably find a playmate if you were stranded on a deserted island.
I couldn't find a playmate if i was the only man at a nymphomaniacs convention.
Please do not take anything in my response to mean i dont want to hear your opinion.
I have no idea what i am doing wrong and i will gladly consider the advice of anyone on the inside.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Let me start with my apologies if you thought I was trying to be funny, that's not how I roll at all.

I don't know very much about the American scene tbh so I couldn't suggest anything beyond asking locally about the scene where you are.
That being said and as I said in my original response, desperation in my experience won't attract any positive attention.

I'll leave you with this and it may sound strange but it has worked for me and is a strategy I employ..... Ask the universe for what you want, like positive mental attitude if you like, you put positive vibes out into the atmosphere and you'll receive good things in return. Like I said it sounds odd but it does work! Good luck with your search.

 

[Ymichael14]

Let me start with my apologies if you thought I was trying to be funny, that's not how I roll at all.

I don't know very much about the American scene tbh so I couldn't suggest anything beyond asking locally about the scene where you are.
That being said and as I said in my original response, desperation in my experience won't attract any positive attention.

I'll leave you with this and it may sound strange but it has worked for me and is a strategy I employ..... Ask the universe for what you want, like positive mental attitude if you like, you put positive vibes out into the atmosphere and you'll receive good things in return. Like I said it sounds odd but it does work! Good luck with your search.

I did not think you were being funny.
Again, thank you for taking the time to respond.
I value all advice.

 

[Lips_Pearls]

Well, that was depressing.
I searched for a woman, couple MF, couple FF and i even tried gay guys even though i dont want a gay guy.
Only found one person in the US and she hasn't been seen since 2018.
And you wonder why my posts are desperate.

Morning. Always been hit & miss across the pond. Americans are a lot more relaxed about this too.