Welcome to...
Social Swinging

A genuine site, by genuine swingers FOR swingers!

Register Today

Benefits of a Dominant Sexual Relationship

Discussion in 'BDSM & Fetish Forums' started by Admin, 20 March 2015.

  1. Admin

    Admin Admin

    A dominant sexual relationship is where one partner has control over the other. The dominant has control over the submissive at all times. There are individuals who are in a sexual relationship and will never want to be controlled by their partner. This type of relationship normally favors such individuals and they are the ones to decide on everything that is to be done. They give orders that their partner must obey or face consequences of which are outlined at the beginning of such a relationship. There are very many benefits to this type of relationship. Here are some of the key benefits of such type of sexual relationships:

    1. Deciding On When To Have Sex Is Much Easier

    When you are the dominant in a sexual relationship, you are the one to make decisions. Your partner will have no option but to fulfill to your needs. Unlike a relationship where both partners have equal powers, when one does not want to have sex, it is hard for the partner who is in the mood to convince the other partner. Therefore for this type of relationship, the convincing of the other partner is much easier and you can have sex any time you want.

    2. It Is a Sign of Respect on the Dominant Partner

    It is a sign of respect given by the submissive for the dominant to be given a chance to have control over the other partner. This is unlike the case where the decisions have to be made by both partners. For instance, the dominant is the one who makes all the decisions where to have sex and the styles. This submissive shows respect by doing all he/she is told by the dominant partner.

    3. It Is a Sign of Trust

    For one to be given a chance to be the dominant, he/she must be trusted. No one that allows you to take control of everything does so without trusting you first. For instance, if one partner tells the other partner to do something, right or wrong, the submissive will do it because of the trust given to the dominant. He/she knows the dominant would never place him in harm’s way or let harm come to her. There is great trust given to a dominant in a dominant sexual relationship and he/she must make sure not to abuse the respect and trust given by their submissive.
    • Like Like x 2
  2. During my "non-swinging" life I hold a very senior managerial position in a business consultancy and I've just embarked upon an open sub/Dom relationship with a very experienced Dom from South Yorkshire. It was immediately obvious that he expected his instructions to be obeyed without question, but in return delivered truly fantastic, earth shattering sex. At no time do I feel like I am being bullied.

    I find myself wanting to please this guy, to the extent that he sends shopping lists by text when I'm in places that I've never visited before, and expects me to have his goods ready when he arrives. And if I please him well, I get properly abused.

    He expects me to bathe him from head to toe (and all the fun bits in between) when he arrives from a day at work and then towel him dry before he will allow me to take matters in hand (or mouth!).

    I feel very fortunate to have found someone who understands what Domination means.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Mr Steve, that sounds pretty exciting!! Good for you and Dom or sub, that dynamic is an excellent position to find yourself.
    The fact you get shopping lists when out and about, is a very good example of a good dynamic connection!
    Good for you!
    :) :smackpaddle::Ohyessir:
  4. Shopping lists with time limits, and I shall be eating standing up today
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Very interesting to read! Have you given way to true submission @SteveSub - if we may ask?
  6. Not completely. I haven't surrendered economic independence, and I'm still happily married (without any sex), but I'm otherwise totally submissive with my friend. OMG what a complicated life I seem to lead..
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    It certainly sounds it, but you must do what you must do.. we are who we are, and life is an open book.
    With which we write the pages!

    Honesty is a rare attribute to find these days. (y) x
  8. Chat Now (7)
    Chat Now (0)
    I tend to agree with you, but that is fairly two faced of me, because I tend to compartmentalise my life, and keep each separate from the other.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. What is happening when a female sub when receiving instructions from me, her eyes glaze over?
    • Like Like x 1
  10. So the submissive has no say/ no choices?
  11. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Correct. (but it's consensual)
  12. So the submissive made a choice and had a say to not have a choice and a say?
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. Oh im not getting this at all..
    oh then maybe i am so if the sub wants something? Anything.. Or something different sexually she/he asks the dominant?
    If the dom doesn't agree it doesn't happen..
    Im just curious here...
    • Like Like x 3
  14. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    A submissive gives her sumbission TO you. It's her choice to do so, and by doing so gives the Dominant the role and rights over her. These can include set rules they've both agreed on.

    Correct. The Dominant's role is to consider requests from the submissive and make decisions on whether it's right for his submissive and himself, or not.
    If the Dominant says no, then no it is.
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  15. :eek:
    And you think i have sub tendencies? :D
    Does one get 4wks paid A/L? :D

    Reading all of the above fasinates me as you know, I do think some readily scream, I'm a sub I'm a dom I'm a switch, in the bedroom yes sure a little domination in the bedroom a little submissivness.. but i think those that live out those roles, daily true sub dom relationships are rarer, than we think.
    So.. next question.. Is it something that has been always prevalant, in your relationship, or has it developed over time?
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  16. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Yes I do. 100%... bearing in mind there's different levels of it. But yes I do.

    Yes it has. For many years tbh. It develops and becomes more refined and better over time and with more experience.
    But we'd always known it was there and from very early on we've been the same as we are now as you know us. X
    • Like Like x 2
  17. Am i taxing your brain sorry.
    So i give signals that I'm a sub interesting.. is there not a difference, between, a sub, and someone that wants nurturing?
    I was always the "man" of the house for years, so it does go against the grain..
    Oh i dunno..
    Im confusing myself even more. :eek:
    • Like Like x 4
  18. Lips_Pearls

    Lips_Pearls PV Sprtr

    Yes of course there is a difference. But also signs sometimes of someone wanting to explore and be submissive are not always signs that someone wants necessarily to be a submissive.
    That's the thing, being the "man" of the house previously may make you want you to relinquish some control so you can switch off and just be nurtured and cared for instead. :) x
    • Like Like x 3
  19. Although (from having friends in a D/s relationship) I'm beginning to learn & understand this dynamic, and it's benefits to both parties, a big part of me still balks at this part of it. You, the Dominant wants to have sex, but your submissive isn't particularly in the mood. But it's her (/his) 'job' to acquiesce. So you're happy to have (what I would deem to be) bad sex with a partner who's just fulfilling a role?
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Admin

    Admin Admin

    With things like that, it's wholly dependant on the dynamic of the relationship with the D/s. It may be for some and may not be for others.
    For instance, a common way is for the submissive to say something along the lines of "You can take what's yours", meaning just that - but if you as a Dominant know your role between each of you then you will know what you can take and when.
    Some will fulfil this role to the absolute letter.
    Some will not and will state it clearly.

    I myself personally for example, will not take anything that is not willingly given - whatsoever. (not even 'bad sex' as stated.)

    It's difficult to say if the typical D/s relationship have that level of dynamics, rapport and trust but the bigger problem here/there (RE acquiesce) is treading the fine line of abuse.
    We all know there's some very nasty horror stories to be told, and it's in occasions like this that some may rear their heads.
    Knowing your submissive, understanding your submissive and having set - clear guidelines in place, is an absolute must.
    • Winner Winner x 4
    • Like Like x 1
  21. Then, I fail to see, in this instance, the difference from a 'vanilla' relationship. In one breath you say you can have sex whenever you want, without having to 'convince' the other partner, but say you won't take anything that's not freely given?
    • Like Like x 1
  22. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Please note, one major line of the OP;
    "Here are some of the key benefits of such type of sexual relationships:"

    These are merely examples of what the chosen lifestyle may present and not specifically nor necessarily what I for one do. That doesn't mean to say I do or don't take what I want went I want to.
    Whatever is 'taken' is always and only ever done with consent?

    There is great trust given to a Dominant in a Dominant sexual relationship and he/she must make sure not to abuse the respect and trust given by their submissive.
    But where, if I may - did I define what's clearly given and submitted to me, with submission, in this reply?
    True I did say I wouldn't take anything that's not freely given - as that is a dangerous line to cross, no?
    But the submissive, in this case obviously my wife, she has chosen to submit to me - everything and that includes everything. Most things I take - for which I always give back in one way or the other. Whether nurturing, care or a lot more..
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Feel the Love Feel the Love x 1
  23. I think you do too ;) lol
  24. I think this is where being skilled as a Dominant really comes in.
    Forgetting the non-consent fantasies that do exist. Most don't want bad sex.
    But a skilled Dominant will be able to read that in his submissive. Be able to treat them in such a way as to put them in a more excepting mood and therefore more willing to forfill their role within the bounds of their relationship. Of course that's not limited to a 'Dominant' but i'd consider it part of the skill set.
    Also some submissives do actually want to feel 'used' so they feel like they have been a good submissive. It really all depends on the individuals and what is agreed to be the bounds of their relationship.
    Every single relationship of this type is different and usually agreements are made throughout and can be revisited if there's something causing issues within.
    What one would deem abuse another will happily ask for. It is playing within someone's deepest desires and they are different for every single one of us.
    • Winner Winner x 1
  25. Admin

    Admin Admin

    Blimey I think enough spam has gone on here. Don't you?
    Will clean it up. Thanks all.
    • Like Like x 1
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice