We have been having some fantastic fun with bdsm however for me the Mr it just doesn't come naturally to me
I really enjoy it but i keep getting the feedback that I'm not quite doing things hard enough. I know when i get it right and keep aiming for that level but always fear actually causing harm
So does anyone fit into the role naturally is it a process you have to work at?
Any tips?
This is a great question. There's a fine line between being what we as blokes think is hard and what a lady does...
But this is where safewords come in, even though you may have been together 20 years or what have you.
It all depends on what you're using too, whether it's equipment / toys or your hands etc. You have to find your boundaries and find Mrs YSCPL's boundaries too (if she has any..)
If a total novice one thing that I know definitely works is; the traffic light system.
Thwack - Green good;
Thwack - Amber love it but getting close to my limit;
Thwack - Red STOP. Too much...
So you level off to Amber. You know your own strength here..
The reason it may not come naturally is because we're not supposed to harm our ladies. So to a degree it won't feel natural initially.
I recall once,
@Pearls and I were in a huge session and I was using my belt. She pushed me to the point where I almost lost it myself! I was in a sweat from being so hard with it. I actually had to take a minute to think before carrying on and that's where being in control really comes into play. You have to know your own limits too.
Even if it means you have to stop because you cannot do it.
We're 24/7 D/s
