FTM...Trans? What the hell is that??

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23 November 2015
21
178
Okay, so what can I say that my profile already hasn't? There are many misconceptions about transgendered people and I find that my inbox often explodes with those who are curious as to 'how things work'.

I am a trans man. Just to be clear, being transgendered is the same as sexuality; you can't choose it or change it, regardless of how many times people claim that they can 'cure' you. For example, I knew I was a male at the age of 4. When I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I gave only two answers; that I wanted to be a boy and that I wanted to be a 'motorbiker'. I knew I liked girls early on and I was 7 when I had my first crush on the girl that lived on my street. If we'd play any kind of role games, I would insist on being the male, like a big brother or the dad.

I remember at the age of 16 crying in bed at night knowing that I would never become a father. I know now that there are options for this but 100% biologically, it would never be truly possible. It's one of the things that kills me to know that I can't give the woman I love something that she wants so badly.

For a long time, I questioned my thoughts of being trans because of my sexuality (bisexual) and it's only recently that I discovered that these are two very different things. I know of two trans men who are gay and are in the process of transitioning (taking testosterone, gender reassignment surgery etc) and are in a relationship together. It took me a while to get my head around this but finally it all clicked after a lot of research. But before all of that, I did try to change and fit into what society expected of me and all I did was hurt myself and others around me. It just didn't work. In any aspect of life it is always best to be yourself. It may be difficult for others to accept but you are you and they should love you for who you are.

Being transgendered doesn't necessarily mean that you have to change. Myself, for example, am 100% physically female, however, my mentality and persona just don't match my body. I haven't taken the step of taking testosterone shots for my body and voice to change but I use other methods to stop the feelings of dysphoria pushing in. I currently use a sports bra/binder to hold down my chest while using such items as packers or strap ons to replace what I feel should already be 'down there'. As I've said on my profile, guys, imagine someone cut your cock off and you're pretty much where I am in my mind.

I'm in a very loving relationship with a woman who is bisexual and considers me to be male. We both class it as a straight relationship. She wants me to find out what the swinging world has to offer trans men in particular as when we both attend club meets etc we would like to know that it is safe for us. This boils down to a past experience that I once had when I was 18; My girlfriend at the time and I were having a quiet drink in a bar and a group of guys roughly in their late 30's sent out some pretty aggressive vibes towards us. We finished our drinks and left and they followed. We ended up being chased down an alley where there was no way out and they grabbed her and me promising to 'teach us a lesson' for being 'what we are'. Luckily one of them had a bit of a conscience and said it might be best to leave us alone. I managed to get them to leave her alone and let her go home. I practically crawled away from my 'lesson' with a broken rib, bloodied and bruised at the hands of these six 'men'. I'm just thankful that they never laid a finger on my girlfriend. The next day I was at work wearing a skirt with make up plastered on my face trying to pretend as though nothing had happened.

Times have definitely changed and people are more accepting of sexuality and trans people, however, you can never tell. In all fairness though, when joining up with swinging sites, I've had nothing but praise and encouragement. I am open, honest and genuine and I'm hoping that over time I can build up my profile to show the real me and help to make the subject less taboo. I am more than happy to answer any questions you may have. At the end of the day, I had to ask the same things to get where I am today and it's the same conversation that I had with my girlfriend when we first started dating. Nothing ever shocks me anymore so please don't think that you're being 'out of line' or 'weird' just from asking.

Happy swinging guys and I look forward to meeting you all.

Emmett xx
 
18 July 2015
52,761
113,608
Great thread and I think you covered everything there, one question though as I said to you earlier, Im nosey and would you consider treatment or is it something that you want to avoid xx
 
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Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
38,759
95,606
Hello @EmmettFTM and welcome again...
Very interesting story & read. I would like to congratulate you on coming out and choosing your current path and what you wish to ascertain with your life.
Sadly there's some ignoramus's out there as proven by this part of your post;

when I was 18; My girlfriend at the time and I were having a quiet drink in a bar and a group of guys roughly in their late 30's sent out some pretty aggressive vibes towards us. We finished our drinks and left and they followed. We ended up being chased down an alley where there was no way out and they grabbed her and me promising to 'teach us a lesson' for being 'what we are'. Luckily one of them had a bit of a conscience and said it might be best to leave us alone. I managed to get them to leave her alone and let her go home. I practically crawled away from my 'lesson' with a broken rib, bloodied and bruised at the hands of these six 'men'. I'm just thankful that they never laid a finger on my girlfriend. The next day I was at work wearing a skirt with make up plastered on my face trying to pretend as though nothing had happened.

However, more and more people are accepting of transgender and cross sexualities.
It's sad that people do think this way, but education is key.. Education, understanding, tolerance and more love.
The world needs more love and less hate. More tolerance and less intolerance.
When we reach that point, more and more people will be happier.

I am glad you already feel comfortable enough to openly discuss this and share it with everyone here.
And again, I personally commend you for such a brave choice and decision to make.
Fact is, you are who you are...

In any aspect of life it is always best to be yourself. It may be difficult for others to accept but you are you and they should love you for who you are.
I could not agree more. ;) ^^^

Admin :) x
 
23 November 2015
21
178
For the time being, I'm doing everything that I can that will help towards transitioning. So I'm training my vocal chords to help me speak with a deeper tone and going to the gym to build up muscle that will help me pass as a male in public without treatment but I think that this is inevitable really. One day it will happen and I suppose it's more to do with being accepted by family first before I make that decision. Friends are all very supportive and know who I am which helps a lot. If someone passed me a shot of testosterone today with nothing else to consider then I would be in tears and snatch it out of their hand! Lol. xx
 
L

Leather

Hello and welcome to this lovely site, well done and it can be very daunting for friends and family who care which only adds to the doubt in you're head, Im in a relationship with a lady who is gay and she is asked often that it can be cured and men say you haven't met me yet haha.
Good luck in this amazing journey and this is just the beginning for you xx
 

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
38,759
95,606
I suppose it's more to do with being accepted by family first before I make that decision.
It's a tough one, but if some family are rejecting you or resentful even, to an extent it can be understandable. As they're 'losing' a daughter and gaining a son, or brother.. Nephew and so on. Or that will be their mindset anyway I should expect.
All it needs is some time, and eventually they will come round and realise! And then you will get the; "dya know what, as it happens we always thought she was more of a tomboy" and the penny will drop.

It will be hard, you are up against some tough hurdles. But with the right support and friendship(s) you will overcome these obstacles.
And with ease too.
You have our support so whenever and IF you feel you need to rant or a shoulder to cry on, we're here. (y)
x
 
22 August 2015
292
923
City
Haxey
Hello and welcome to such a lovely friendly site. Thank you for sharing your story with us. We hope you and your girlfriend enjoy your time here and meet lots of lovely new people. Enjoy the ride XXX
 
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Therapon

Admin
11 August 2015
24,143
47,921
@EmmettFTM thanks for having the courage to be so open and honest about yourself, your comments are interesting and thought provoking. Being straight, this is something I have never had to consider but it's interesting that you can see things are slowly changing which can only be a good thing. You only need to go back a short time in history to find that any mention of such things as homosexuality was behind closed doors and being caught it the act was punishable to a jail sentence at best, forced medication at worst. I admire your honesty and it's people like yourself, willing to stand up and discuss these issues, who are helping society to realise that we are not all the same.
 

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
38,759
95,606
You only need to go back a short time in history to find that any mention of such things as homosexuality was behind closed doors and being caught it the act was punishable to a jail sentence at best, forced medication at worst. I admire your honesty and it's people like yourself, willing to stand up and discuss these issues, who are helping society to realise that we are not all the same.

I SO agree Mr Therapon. Homosexuality was severely frowned upon and people were severely punished too...
Yet it goes back to the beginning of time!?
It is very admiring and obviously Emmett is brave and proud. Agreed that it's people just like @EmmettFTM who are prepared to stand up, openly discuss things like this - which is also clearly very close to the heart, and yes helping society to realise that we are indeed unique and different.

Wouldn't the world be a boring place if we were all the same..
 
23 November 2015
21
178
Thank you so much guys. I think this video by Ruby Rose is a very accurate description of the person you will find me to be at the end as this is pretty much my story. :) When it was published there were millions of views within the first few days, BEFORE her appearance in Orange Is The New Black which shows just how many people are out there going through the same thing as I am. Enjoy!

 
22 August 2015
292
923
City
Haxey
Being straight, this is something I have never had to consider but it's interesting that you can see things are slowly changing which can only be a good thing

It is very admiring and obviously Emmett is brave and proud. Agreed that it's people just like @EmmettFTM who are prepared to stand up, openly discuss things like this - which is also clearly very close to the heart, and yes helping society to realise that we are indeed unique and different.

Mrs SnS has already welcomed you, However I could not let this post go without saying that, as @Therapon quoted it is something that until this moment i have never had to consider, and as @Admin states it is only with the determined efforts of people like yourself, that we can start to understand. Thank you for your post. And as Mrs Sns said enjoy xx
 

Admin

Admin
15 September 2014
38,759
95,606
Welcome to this site! It's so refreshing to find another person who identifies as GF on here and to read your experiences. I'm new on here and to swinging and have my fears about not fitting the conventional gender mould and whether I'll be accepted, and am so glad to have a partner who has kept an open mind in learning and understanding me as when we first met he had a very black and white view on gender.
I can go weeks/months/years/days where I feel very much a man, and then other times when I can be extremely girly and feminine too. My (male) partner @zebo , we have a daddy/princess dynamic and I become like a little girl around him which I love, as I don't feel I can express my feminine side as a "grown up". Sometimes I love dressing feminine, but most of the time I'm more comfortable in boy clothes. I've hated having breasts from the minute I began developing, and when I had my first period I just hit this big emotional crisis that I really am female and I just felt so repulsed by that and wanted to punish myself and began self-harming.
I would never have the operation, I have never felt strongly enough to want that as I do have a feminine side. Bodybuilding has definitely helped me feel a lot more in control of my body and that I can work towards a more masculine image but still remain female, although there are times I really beat myself up and give myself a hard time because it's such a slow process to get to where I want to be.
I'm also bi. I have romantic attachments with men, but only sexually attracted to females so very lucky to have a partner who doesn't pressure me and who I can enjoy other women with :)

Wow @Mz-Zebo ... Thank you for sharing this with us all.
Of course I know/knew about some things with your masculinity and some of your expressions you have made so far, but when you open up like this, then you gain more insight into a person's thoughts and feelings. So I just want to say thank you for sharing this also with everyone.

All of this just goes to show how comfortable people are both here, and within themselves.
Warm fuzzy feelings here peeps... :)
xx