I’ve just joined.

[mrclouse]

Could @Admin make it so new single females dont get pm messages for a certain time but are able to send a message to someone and then the reciever can answer might save a lot of people flooding the newie with messages

if it has to be done by protocol, then it should be new users can start message conversations but not have it started for them make it one way. But cant we just put it in the terms and conditions and ban\silence\punish people who spam newbies with unwanted messages? OR cant we just all behave?

 

[Admin]

Could @Admin make it so new single females dont get pm messages for a certain time but are able to send a message to someone and then the reciever can answer might save a lot of people flooding the newie with messages

I can’t really respond properly atm but will do as soon as I get more of a chance.

 

[Admin]

Could @Admin make it so new single females dont get pm messages for a certain time but are able to send a message to someone and then the reciever can answer might save a lot of people flooding the newie with messages

Hi Colin,
This is something we’ve thought about previously and considered some sort of cooling off period.
But that alone will bring issues to this though.
The most important one being they would believe the site to be very quiet when it’s a constant hive of activity.

So it wouldn’t reflect the truth.
As pointed out by @MP386 and @mrclouse and some others, ideally we just need people to have the foresight to be a bit more responsible with their behaviour really.

Ideally this thread will make some sit back and think - maybe I need to slow down a bit with newbies.

This has cost us members previously which I don’t want to publicly go into.
But as I said, hopefully this thread will highlight that people need to consider their approach. ??

 

[Admin]

Hi Colin,
This is something we’ve thought about previously and considered some sort of cooling off period.
But that alone will bring issues to this though.
The most important one being they would believe the site to be very quiet when it’s a constant hive of activity.

So it wouldn’t reflect the truth.
As pointed out by @MP386 and @mrclouse and some others, ideally we just need people to have the foresight to be a bit more responsible with their behaviour really.

Ideally this thread will make some sit back and think - maybe I need to slow down a bit with newbies.

This has cost us members previously which I don’t want to publicly go into.
But as I said, hopefully this thread will highlight that people need to consider their approach. ??

That said, I will have a think on some things too. I apologise for the stops and starts here. It’s been tricky for me to respond sooner.

 

[SteveandDebs]

I think the problem is that any site, swinging or not, will attract predators. These predators then get desperate to 'get hold' of any new female joiners before a: someone else gets in first and b: they learn the ropes and the danger signals to look out for.

I can't think of anyway to prevent this but maybe between us we can?

A female friend of mine joined mingingheaven. She was a newbie to swinging but a regular on the old IC bdsm site so she knew the score. The messages she received were unbelievable, all in a rush to meet, all wanting her to bypass normal safety checks. A recurring thing was "a real swinger wouldn't do that"

 

[mrclouse]

I think the problem is that any site, swinging or not, will attract predators. These predators then get desperate to 'get hold' of any new female joiners before a: someone else gets in first and b: they learn the ropes and the danger signals to look out for.

I can't think of anyway to prevent this but maybe between us we can?

A female friend of mine joined mingingheaven. She was a newbie to swinging but a regular on the old IC bdsm site so she knew the score. The messages she received were unbelievable, all in a rush to meet, all wanting her to bypass normal safety checks. A recurring thing was "a real swinger wouldn't do that"

Wow thats even scarier...

 

[Lips_Pearls]

I think the problem is that any site, swinging or not, will attract predators. These predators then get desperate to 'get hold' of any new female joiners before a: someone else gets in first and b: they learn the ropes and the danger signals to look out for.

I can't think of anyway to prevent this but maybe between us we can?

A female friend of mine joined mingingheaven. She was a newbie to swinging but a regular on the old IC bdsm site so she knew the score. The messages she received were unbelievable, all in a rush to meet, all wanting her to bypass normal safety checks. A recurring thing was "a real swinger wouldn't do that"

Wow thats even scarier...

I think in cases like this, we must all be proactive to ensure said members are aware of reporting and that it will be handled if it's persistent.
That's shocking tbh - but doesn't surprise me either.

 

[CocoDD]

I think the problem is that any site, swinging or not, will attract predators. These predators then get desperate to 'get hold' of any new female joiners before a: someone else gets in first and b: they learn the ropes and the danger signals to look out for.

I can't think of anyway to prevent this but maybe between us we can?

A female friend of mine joined mingingheaven. She was a newbie to swinging but a regular on the old IC bdsm site so she knew the score. The messages she received were unbelievable, all in a rush to meet, all wanting her to bypass normal safety checks. A recurring thing was "a real swinger wouldn't do that"

It’s a big problem everywhere and you find yourself blocking said accounts then find they open new ones and resend the same messages.

 

[SteveandDebs]

It’s a big problem everywhere and you find yourself blocking said accounts then find they open new ones and resend the same messages.

With the same spelling mistakes in a lot of cases. There is one guy on another site that has sent the same cut'n'paste message about 4 times now, twice each from 2 different profiles.

 

[Admin]

With the same spelling mistakes in a lot of cases. There is one guy on another site that has sent the same cut'n'paste message about 4 times now, twice each from 2 different profiles.

Well this is why we have several things in place to manage it. Members cannot self delete is probably the most important one.
Second being the fact we don't allow multiple accounts unless for specific needs as you know.

 

[Deleted member 15664]

But seriously I do agree with you @Pearls , a "hi and welcome" should suffice initially then hopefully they'll feel more welcome and inclined to stay and join in, then and only then once a little raport has been built should any kind of pm or approach be made. Wouldn't fucking do it in a pub or club so why here?

Absolutely agree