( This is mainly for guys and couples, ladies... carry on, you can have zero pics, almost nothing on your bio, and have listed "killing liddle babby animals" as a hobby.... and you'd still be swamped with offers lol!)
So, you are new to the game, have some fantasies to fulfil, and, having dipped a toe in via an internet-based swinging site, you like what you see and decide to try and set up a meet... without any luck.
You've sent out loads of messages, added people to your friends list, engaged many in message-based conversations, rambled wildly in forums on many a varied subject, even tried out the chatrooms to demonstrate your verbosity... but, still nothing.
Then the doubts kick in, you start to wonder if its you, maybe you aren't as good-looking as your mum said, is it your deodorant, or maybe your pics aren't up to scratch (Yeah, I'd take that one off... you know the one, its in poor taste, and the local WI would NOT be happy to see their prized photo's of the Queen and Maggie Thatcher used like that!).
Stop.
Take a chill pill.
Relax.
Less is more.
There is such a thing as "trying too hard", and people can smell it, and it puts them off.
Just be "you", the real you, the one your friends like, the one your workmates like.... and let people come to you. Sure, it will take time, but then, nothing worthwhile happens quickly. Try to hit some local socials, mix and mingle, maybe a club or two, and get known in the local "scene".
Soon enough you'll be a familiar face, and the invites will start, and then you can quietly hit up the ones you like and start meeting. Enjoy... and remember, fucking is fun, but transient, friendships last forever... and fucking friends is awesome!
So, you are new to the game, have some fantasies to fulfil, and, having dipped a toe in via an internet-based swinging site, you like what you see and decide to try and set up a meet... without any luck.
You've sent out loads of messages, added people to your friends list, engaged many in message-based conversations, rambled wildly in forums on many a varied subject, even tried out the chatrooms to demonstrate your verbosity... but, still nothing.
Then the doubts kick in, you start to wonder if its you, maybe you aren't as good-looking as your mum said, is it your deodorant, or maybe your pics aren't up to scratch (Yeah, I'd take that one off... you know the one, its in poor taste, and the local WI would NOT be happy to see their prized photo's of the Queen and Maggie Thatcher used like that!).
Stop.
Take a chill pill.
Relax.
Less is more.
There is such a thing as "trying too hard", and people can smell it, and it puts them off.
Just be "you", the real you, the one your friends like, the one your workmates like.... and let people come to you. Sure, it will take time, but then, nothing worthwhile happens quickly. Try to hit some local socials, mix and mingle, maybe a club or two, and get known in the local "scene".
Soon enough you'll be a familiar face, and the invites will start, and then you can quietly hit up the ones you like and start meeting. Enjoy... and remember, fucking is fun, but transient, friendships last forever... and fucking friends is awesome!
x